Love after Loss
by MissTeak
Summary: They have been divorced since three years ago. However, fate plays a cruel game as their young daughter contracted leukemia. In order to save Rin's fading life, Kagome resorts to her final strand of hope, her ex husband, Taisho Sesshoumaru. [SessKag]
1. A Meeting

Disclaimers: I do not own Inuyasha in any way. The only thing I own is this story.

A/N: The story takes place in an AU setting, with Kagome and Sesshoumaru being divorced three years ago. Rin, their daughter of age five, has contracted acute myelogenous leukemia (AML), a fast-growing cancer of the blood and bone marrow.

In order to save Rin, Kagome seeks far and wide to find a suitable donor to save her daughter's life with a bone marrow transplant. However, no matches could be found so far, not even Kagome's own bone marrow. Desperate and left with no other choice, she resorts to her final strand of hope – her ex-husband, Taisho Sesshoumaru.

Sometimes, you find love after you lose it.

**Title: Love after Loss**

**Chapter 1: A Meeting**

* * *

Taking a deep breath, Kagome stepped into the towering building which read "Taisho Holdings". The chilly air-conditioning greeted her, before glass sliding doors closed behind. The clean, fresh scent of the building seemed ever so professional and oddly detached, for she had not visited this place for three years.

Yes, three long years since they finalized their divorce.

If it was not for the fact that she had no choice at all, she would never have opted to come here. Not when it was so painful, reminding her of all the pain she tried to numb herself to.

She felt like running away when she saw the ever familiar receptionist area, the elevator, the café…everything reminded her of him, and the time when she used to be working here as well.

But her mind went back to the little life that was waiting for her. It all started two months ago when she started noticing tiny red spots under Rin's skin, her frequent bouts of high fevers, and paleness of her face and complains of constant ache.

"_I'm sorry, Miss Higurashi, but your child has contracted a disease called AML, more specifically, acute myelogenous leukemia."_

"_L-Leukemia? Isn't that…isn't that cancer?"_

"_Yes. It is the cancer of the blood and bone marrow, occurring very rarely in young children. We have to act as fast as we can, Miss Higurashi. If we start treatment early, there is above ninety percent chance of a long-lasting remission for your daughter…"_

Initially, she could not accept the devastating news. How could that be? Rin was only five. She has already been disadvantaged as a child, growing up in a single parent family. Furthermore, given the social stigmas attached so strongly to single mothers in Japan, Rin had suffered more than her fair share with Kagome, always having troubles with finding lodging and such.

The first round of chemotherapy did not go well, and subsequent treatment sessions proved complexities in Rin's body's response to the treatment planned for her. Things were not going well, and there was nothing she could do as a mother but watch her daughter suffer.

"_Mommy…is Rin going to die?" The little girl had asked when she saw Kagome crying after a chemo session. "Don't cry, Mommy…Rin will be a good girl."_

Helpless and almost tearing up apart inside, Kagome approached the doctor, only to be told that a bone marrow transplant was Rin's best chance of survival. However, a suitable donor was needed, and that was often the greatest obstacle.

After failed attempts of testing out to be a donor, lack of compatibility in the bone marrows available at the National Marrow Donor Program Registry, things were looking not so good for the little girl.

Kagome could only recall the numerous nights she spent crying alone when the tests revealed that her own bone marrow, and those of her own mother, brother, grandfather, friends like Sango and Miroku all could not match that of Rin's.

"_How…How am I going to find a suitable donor, doctor?" She had asked out of desperation, breaking down in tears in front of the oncologist._

"_I do have an idea in mind, Miss Higurashi," The aged doctor replied softly, as if hesitant. "I understand that you are divorced, are you not?"_

_Kagome had nodded silently._

"_Then there is still a chance of survival for Rin, if you can manage to get in contact with your ex-husband. Since Rin is related to him by blood, there stands the possibility of their HLA tissue types being compatible…"_

Her only chance left was him. Her ex-husband, Taisho Sesshoumaru. If there was any hope left for them, it was him. There was no other alternative when Rin's life was at stake. Even if he was unwilling to help him, she would beg him until he agreed. After all, Sesshoumaru did dote on Rin…Kagome could not think of any reason why he would not agree to save their daughter if he could help it.

With her determination renewed, Kagome took another step closer to the elevator, before the attendant in the elevator asked for the level she intended to go to.

"Level 60, please." Kagome replied softly with a small bow.

As the elevator ascended, Kagome looked out at the buildings on the other side of the glass with odd fascination as they became smaller and smaller. The sunshine cast a warm glow over everything, while her thoughts went back to her daughter lying in hospital with only her grandmother for company.

No matter how hard it was for her to face Sesshoumaru, she would do it for Rin's sake. However, these determined thoughts were not making things any easier for her. Simply thinking of seeing his face again in person after so long was making it laborious for her to breathe.

Even though it has been three years since they last saw each other, Sesshoumaru has been doing his part as a father until Rin reached the age of four. He visited her dutifully on weekends, before Kagome and Rin moved to another apartment. She did not know why she did it, but she withheld their new address from him. She did not know it was because she could not forget him at all, and that was her last ditch effort in doing so.

As the elevator came to a halt, Kagome bowed her thanks to the attendant, before stepping out onto the spacious office area of her ex-husband. Walking over to the receptionist area, Kagome spoke up after clearing her throat.

"Excuse me, but I would like to see Mr. Taisho Sesshoumaru."

The lady at the counter peered at her for a good three seconds, before her eyes widened in recognition.

"You are Mrs. Taisho, aren't you?"

Kagome forced a small smile onto her face at being recognized, before saying. "I was."

The lady nodded, for there was no one in the entire building who did not know of the divorce between Sesshoumaru and Kagome.

"So, you wish to see Sesshoumaru-sama right now?" She asked. "Do you have an appointment scheduled with him?"

"I…No," Kagome shook her head, her grip on her handbag tightening. "But I have to see him right now, this is very urgent. Please understand, I have to see him no matter what."

"I wish I could help you too, but there is nothing I can do now. Sesshoumaru-sama is currently having a conference with our clients from Taiwan, and-"

Her words paused abruptly as sounds of a door opening came from behind Kagome and what could be heard next was unmistakably, the voice of Taisho Sesshoumaru.

"We look forward to working with you again."

"Of course, it has always been great pleasure to work with your company…"

At the familiar voice, Kagome spun around on her heels, only to come straight into face with the man she spent so many nights trying to erase from her memory. She could feel the few strands of sanity holding her in reality strain as she mentally took note of the close proximity of her ex-husband.

"Sesshoumaru…" She whispered, barely audible.

From where she was, it was not hard for her to see the shock in his eyes at seeing her after so long. His slightly parted lips gave him away. But the shock did not last long, for he very characteristically hid the surprise under a mask of indifference and subtle arrogance almost instantly. That was the Sesshoumaru she knew.

He had not changed at all since they parted, and she could not help but wonder if that was a good thing. If there was anything else, it would be his appearance. He was still every bit as good-looking as she remembered him to be, to the point of being the very epitome of perfection itself.

She evaded the eye contact quickly, before bowing in greeting. He nodded in her direction, before walking the group of Chinese clients to the elevator. She stood at the receptionist counter awkwardly, unsure of what to do or say, now that she had seen him with her very own eyes.

As the doors to the elevators closed, Sesshoumaru turned to her, silently regarding her with a cool gaze. However, the look on his handsome face reflected the slightest trace of what she thought seemed like sadness. But that was impossible, wasn't it?

Dispelling the nagging thought, Kagome exhaled slowly before taking a deep breath, the chilly air making her nose ache slightly, before saying, "I need to talk to you, Sesshoumaru."

He blinked once, before looking at her again. His silence was almost unnerving, and the heavy tension that lingered like a blanket was threatening to drown her.

"I really have to talk to you…this is urgent." She was almost losing her composure. Trust him to create such an effect on her.

"Do we have anything more to talk about," He finally spoke up in his deep, baritone voice. "Kagome?"

Hearing her name from his lips only managed to send a weird tingle through her being. For how long had she not heard from him? It felt so odd now…to think they were once in love.

"So you do remember me." She said in a soft voice.

"There is no reason for me not to." He replied. His voice was ever so impassive, giving her no clue at all as to what he was thinking or feeling.

"If so, can I talk to you in private?"

He regarded her silently for another moment, as if trying to read her intentions for this sudden visit, before agreeing.

"Fine, we will talk if that is what you wish." The heavy presence of detached professionalism faded ever so slightly from his voice. He cast a glance over at the clock hanging on the wall. "Have you had lunch?"

His question surprised her. She had expected him to simply ask her into his office and demand for her to get to the point, for he had always been a straightforward, no-nonsense sort of person.

"No, not yet." She answered dutifully, shaking her head slightly as she did.

"We will talk over lunch then."

_

* * *

To be continued…_

A/N: I hope you guys enjoyed this so far! Please review if you liked it to reward my efforts!


	2. The Reason Behind

Standard disclaimers apply.

A/N: Thank you for all the reviews for the previous chapter; I am glad you guys think so highly of this story's potential, and I can only hope that I will not disappoint in the chapters to come.

In this chapter, Kagome and Sesshoumaru sit down and talk over lunch for the first time in three years. Watch the interaction, and enjoy the evil tension!

**Title: Love after Loss**

**Chapter Two: The Reason Behind**

* * *

The Lexus came to a halt in the carpark behind the restaurant they used to frequent before their divorce, before he exited on his side to walk over and open the door for her.

This was what he used to do in the past, but it also pained her to know that while he could carry out his little acts of gentlemanliness, other women out there most probably get to experience it as well.

That, was enough to make Kagome wish to cry again, but she knew better. She had a great request to make of him now, and she would just adhere safely to the side of her court. Crossing the line in any way would not be wise, not when Rin's life is the issue.

As she exited the car, she bowed slightly to express her thanks, before following him to where the restaurant was. He nodded in return and slammed the door shut, before locking the car and walking ahead.

Unlike the past where he would hold her hand while they walked across the carpark, she could not help but notice the detached way he kept both his hands inside his pockets.

Kagome bit her lower lip, feeling the tension lingering between them assault her constantly like a raging tsunami. It was so hard to breathe freely around him, not to mention speaking. Back in the car earlier on, she felt she was going to pass out in the small enclosed area, for she feared that even a harsher breath taken would somewhat ruin something. Something else had changed too, and that was the form of speech he used with her. He had reverted to using the formal "desu-masu" form of Japanese speech, as if they were nothing more than acquaintances.

That, for yet another unknown reason, felt painful to her.

However, she once again reminded herself of her greater agenda. No matter how difficult it was for her to open her mouth, she would request Sesshoumaru to make a trip to the hospital with her to do a test to see if his HLA tissue type matches that of Rin's. Because if it does, Rin would be granted a new lease of life.

She was only five. There was no reason as to why she should suffer in pain and die at such a tender age.

As they were shown to their table in the quaint traditional Japanese restaurant, Sesshoumaru and Kagome bowed their thanks to the waitress before taking their seats. For a moment, it was only the two of them facing each other with two cups of piping hot green tea in between on the table.

She did not know about him, but Kagome felt her chest constrict in what she thought was the greatest tension she ever experienced so far in the entire day. This was different from being in the car, where she could cast her gaze somewhere else. Right at that moment, she was facing him. There was nowhere to run, nowhere to hide.

He picked up his cup of tea first, before taking a graceful sip.

"Hmm." He said softly. "Try the tea; it is of a good quality."

Kagome could only hurriedly force a smile and nod in agreement, before picking up the cup in front of her as well.

Raising the cup to her lips, she could feel his eyes on her. He was watching her like he used to do, but this time round, it was not at all welcoming. In fact, it was downright unnerving. The strong, piercing gaze was sufficient to make her fumbling hands tip the cup higher involuntarily, and she took in more of the piping hot liquid than she could take.

The heat from the tea singed her tongue slightly as it slid down her throat, before she pulled away to cough, running the back of her hand across her lips, while her face turned cherry with the effort to hold back the oncoming coughs.

Her eyes squeezed shut tightly with the sheer embarrassment of the situation; Kagome could only gasp in shock when she felt a large, strong hand pat her somewhat awkwardly on her back.

He…he was patting her on the back?

Before her embarrassment-clouded mind could fathom anything more, Kagome heard his cool, collected voice.

"Are you alright?"

She opened her mouth to reply, only to cough twice again before weakly replying. "Yes, I am."

He drew his hand back to himself and sat down again in his seat, while his eyes continued its gaze on her, making her feel as if she was under a spotlight.

"You don't have to be nervous around me."

Trust him to hit the bull's eye every time. Sesshoumaru was rarely wrong in his judgment of things, and Kagome knew there was no use at all in denying what he observed to be true.

She nodded like how a young child would, before the waitress came over to take their orders for lunch. Flipping through the menu, which had now changed after three years, Kagome scanned the price listings for the cheapest set available.

Everything was so expensive here; even the cheapest could easily mean three regular meals elsewhere for her. Money was of utmost importance to her now that she had Rin's medical bills to take care of, on top of the medical bills for her aged grandfather, household fees for her mother, her apartment rental and everything else.

Sometimes, she regretted refusing Sesshoumaru's alimony for child support, but at other times, it made her proud of herself and her ability to stand on her own feet.

Before she could decide on her order, her ex-husband's voice once again cut through her thoughts.

"She will have the toro sashimi set, and I'll have the sake sashimi set. Along with that, we will have a yaki-anago ippon nigiri each, with a plate of ise ebi sashimi in the middle."

Kagome could only inwardly gasp. It was an extravagant lunch, to say the least. This simple lunch could easily mean her going hungry for the next three days.

However, a little tingle spread throughout her heart when she recalled how he instantly ordered the toro nigiri set for her. That was her all-time favorite, the fatty abdominal cut of the bluefin tuna. It was the most prized sashimi ingredient, and it has been years since she last had it. The yaki-anago ippon nigiri, consisting of an entire grilled conger eel placed above a pressed ball of rice, was yet another extravagant cuisine, while the ise ebi, an expensive type of spiny lobster, was something she never had the opportunity to try.

The waitress repeated their orders and picked up the menus, before leaving with a customary bow.

As soon as she was out of earshot, Kagome spoke up. "Sesshoumaru, I-"

"Kagome. You don't have to worry about the price. I'll be paying for lunch."

"A-Alright. Thanks." She replied softly, keeping her eyes glued onto the cup of tea placed before her. Somehow, he could always read her thoughts like a book.

"So, how have you been?" He asked, as if he was talking about the weather.

Kagome did not know how to answer to his question.

"I'm fine." That was all she could manage, but she knew it was a matter of seconds before he would use his own unique way to make her talk more.

An elegantly raised eyebrow was all it took to set her on a go-on-talking mode. Honestly, if she was a radio, he must be the remote control.

All it took was a single action from him to bring about more from her. That was partly the reason why they separated in the past. She felt as if she was a part of him; she was never Kagome herself, she was his.

"I'm currently working two jobs. One at Kinokuniya bookstore in the day, and another at Akihabara at night." She answered dutifully, desperately praying inside that he would not question her more.

However, her prayers went unanswered.

"What job, exactly?" He went on.

She felt embarrassment creep up her being all over again, for she knew her current jobs were nothing compared to her high paying position at Taisho Holdings as the assistant general manager of the marketing department before her marriage to him. Somehow, she felt as if he would scorn at her state now, despite him not showing signs of it.

"I am working as a supervisor at the store at Kinokuniya…while at Akihabara, I…I give out flyers along the streets. There's no specific company I am working for…it depends on what the agent assigns."

"Aa." He acknowledged her words, but did not emphasize more. She did not know if it was imaginary, but she felt shame at telling him about the state she was in. Both knew the reason behind it, for she had quit her job at his company shortly after their divorce. "And where are you and Rin living now?"

"We are living at Shitamachi currently."

"That's-"

"Yes. It is the downtown area. We have rented an apartment there."

"No wonder I could not find you back at Shinagawa."

Kagome chewed her lower lip. If she did not hear wrongly, she could have sworn she heard feelings of helplessness in his voice, something highly uncharacteristic of Sesshoumaru.

"I'm sorry." She could not help but apologize. "I should have informed you but…"

'But I could not forget you if I keep seeing you,' she thought to herself. Biting the answer back, she let her sentence trail, and he, being gentlemanly, did not press her for any more reasons.

"It's alright." He cut in, taking another sip of his tea.

"I'll give you the address later on." She offered immediately. He nodded in agreement, before the food they ordered came.

The plates of delicacies were placed professionally in front of them, before they picked up their chopsticks and started out on lunch with a customary "ittadakimasu".

Kagome picked up the toro sashimi and placed the entire piece of fatty tuna into her mouth, savoring the fresh fragrance of the fish oil for the first time since she was no longer Mrs. Taisho. Like many other tastes and fragrances, this one brought back countless memories for her, bringing forth a surge of nostalgia. Along with Sesshoumaru's presence opposite her, it only served to somehow channel her back in time, to the times where they were still together.

He was eating ever so gracefully with poise, reminding her so strongly of how different their backgrounds were. She was the girl who grew up in a typical Japanese nuclear family at a traditional shrine, who had to work her way up the corporate ladder when she stepped into society. He, on the other hand, was born into an elite family, born with a silver spoon in his mouth.

They were as diverse as the sun and the moon, but for some reasons, an eclipse occurred. But as any unnatural phenomenon, things did not last. They parted due to their irreconcilable differences.

"So, what is it that you need to talk to me about?"

Picking up a piece of lobster sashimi, he proceeded to reach across the table and place it on her plate. As she watched his hand reach across, she said quietly, "It's about Rin."

"What about Rin?"

"Rin…she has been diagnosed with leukemia."

The piece of sashimi slipped from his chopsticks to land on the table, as Sesshoumaru's hand froze in mid-air. This had to be the first time she had ever seen him lose control of his chopsticks.

"What did you just say?" He said in a deadly quiet tone, his voice sounding as if it was engulfed by a layer of frost.

"Leukemia…Rin has leukemia." She repeated herself softly, feeling the familiar ache behind her nose, a sign that her tears were coming any moment. "Or more precisely, acute myelogenous leukemia. It is a form of cancer that is rare in children."

"Since when?" He asked, still unable to process the shocking news that came to him. It has been so long since he saw his little girl, and the moment he heard about her, he had to find out that Fate had dealt such a cruel blow to her.

It was enough to make him feel like hitting something.

"Since two months ago." Kagome replied, placing her chopsticks down. Suddenly, the extravagant meal did not seem so enticing any more. "I started noticing red spots on her skin, and she has been complaining of constant pain in the bones. I thought it was chicken pox or something, but when I brought her to the clinic, the doctor suggested that I bring her to the hospital immediately."

He kept deathly silent, and she could only lower her eyes to stare at the table again.

Swallowing the lump in her throat, Kagome went on in a soft tone. "This is why I came to look for you today. Rin has been placed on a chemotherapy treatment plan since slightly more than a month ago, but her body is not exactly responding well to it."

A nod was all she needed to know that he was listening intently.

"The doctor told me that the best chances for survival will be a bone marrow transplant. However, no matter how hard I've searched, I cannot find any suitable match for her…" Kagome's tears slipped down her cheeks as she recalled the disappointments she suffered over the months. "My own didn't match hers, and now, you are her final hope…for she is our daughter."

He did not make a sound, but his hand was clenched tightly into a fist, so tight that the knuckles were livid white.

"So, I beg of you, please make a trip to go down to the hospital with me to take the test." Kagome continued, bowing as deeply as she could manage while sitting down.

"Will today evening be convenient?"

"You…you agree to go for the test?" She asked shakily, hardly believing how easily he agreed to it.

"I only regret that it could not be sooner, for I have work to see to in the late afternoon."

"Thank you, Sesshoumaru. Thank you so much." She smiled through her tears, and through the watery veil, she could see him nodding slightly. "Thank you so much for saving Rin…"

"She is my daughter too," He replied. "It makes no sense to leave her in the lurch."

Kagome fell silent for a moment, before saying in a much softer voice. "I am sorry, Sesshoumaru."

"Why do you apologize?"

"I did not take good care for her…it must be my fault that she fell sick. Maybe it is because she hasn't been eating good food with me…Could it be that she has eaten too much instant ramen or something? Or maybe because our living conditions are not good enough? Or maybe because I did not buy any vitamin pills for-"

"Kagome, calm down. It is not your fault."

"No, no…it has to be somehow. There's no other reason. My grandmother died of cancer as well, so it has to be my fault."

"No one wished for this to happen. Stop blaming yourself." He interrupted firmly. "If you wish to blame yourself, then you have to blame me too. I am Rin's parent too."

Kagome stopped in her rambling, and settled for crying soundlessly, except for an occasional sniffle. "I don't want her to die…She is only five…"

"Our child will not die, Kagome. I will not allow that to happen."

_

* * *

To be continued…_

A/N: Please review if you enjoyed this chapter and wish to read more!


	3. My Daddy

Standard disclaimers apply.

A/N: A big thank you to all those who reviewed; you guys really made my day. In this chapter, Rin gets to see her father after more than a year of not seeing him.

Of course, read, enjoy and review!

**Title: Love after Loss**

**Chapter 3: My Daddy**

* * *

Exiting the elevator, Sesshoumaru inwardly cringed as the heavy stench of antiseptic assaulted his senses. He had always hated hospitals since he was young, for they smelled of gloom and unhappiness. However, looking at the children's ward, he instantly decided that he hated it more than ever. 

The false cheeriness brought about the brightly-colored wallpaper and pictures did not help alleviate the dreadful gloom that hung over the entire place. To him, it was hypocritical, and downright horrible. They were trying so hard to pretend that it was not painful at all, but this false happiness all the more made it seemed more melancholic.

Casting a glance at the woman beside him, he found no trace of disgust or whatsoever on her face. In fact, he could say that she did not seem to hold any emotions at all. It had only been two months since the diagnosis, but she already seemed incapable of feeling anything else.

Not that he could blame her for that, for she was already being very strong. For three long years, she had been struggling alone to bring their daughter up, refusing alimony from him or sympathy from their friends.

Walking down the corridor, they came to a brightly lit ward with four beds in there. Despite the number of people inside the room, Sesshoumaru could instantly identify his little girl. Sitting up in her bed by the window, playing with a stuffed polar bear and tiger, was none other than Rin. Dressed in pink and white Hello Kitty pajamas, she played alone absentmindedly, placing plastic biscuits and fruits in front of each stuffed toy in her own form of a little tea party.

Turning to Sesshoumaru, Kagome signaled for him to wait outside the ward for awhile, before she entered. As she did, Sesshoumaru could clearly the ecstatic voice of Rin.

"Mommy! Rin misses Mommy so much!" Came the little girl's saccharine sweet voice before Kagome's joined it. From Kagome's voice, it was only too clear that she was feigning happiness, hiding all her pain under a mask constructed of forced smiles.

"Have you been a good girl today? Did you finish your meals properly?"

"Yes! Grandma brought porridge for Rin today and Rin finished everything!"

"That's my good little girl!" Kagome gave her daughter a peck on the cheek. "Since you've been a very good girl, Mommy has a surprise for you."

"Surprise?" Rin asked curiously, her head cocking to the side as she gazed up at her mother. "Did you buy a new toy for Rin?"

"No, my dear. It is a surprise which you will like even more. Now close your eyes," Kagome smiled, placing Rin's hands over her eyes. "No peeping, alright?"

The little girl nodded in agreement as she kept her hands clapped tightly across her eyes.

Kagome stepped aside to motion for Sesshoumaru to enter, before he nodded and stepped into the room, standing at the end of the hospital bed which seemed too large for Rin's tiny frame.

Up close, he could see the scars left on her tiny arms from the numerous injections she suffered, and her hair was also thinning, leaving her scalp slightly visible from beneath. Such was not the fate his daughter deserved, and watching her innocently awaiting her surprise only made his heart ache excruciatingly inside.

"Alright, Rin, you can remove your hands now!" Kagome exclaimed, while the little girl hurriedly complied.

Her large brown eyes widened in surprise at recognition of the man standing before her, before they softened and her nose turned red and mouth flattened from the oncoming tears. It was as if she lost the ability to speak in that moment, and all she could do was stare.

"Daddy?" She finally said softly after a moment, sounding somewhat uncertain.

Hearing her call him again made Sesshoumaru's heart swell with pride and agony at the same time.

Words failed him, and he could only look at the little girl sitting on the bed, looking up at him.

"Are you really my Daddy?"

That earned a smile from both Sesshoumaru and Kagome, before he nodded. "Yes, it's Daddy, Rin."

The child's red-rimmed eyes immediately brimmed over with sparkling tears, before her arms spread themselves in a silent request for her father to pick her up. Sesshoumaru complied instantly, wrapping his strong arms around his daughter's weak frame and lifted her up from the bed that reeked of medication and antiseptic wipes. He held her close to himself, inhaling the light powdery fragrance which he remembered defined her so strongly in his memories.

"Where did you go for so long, Daddy?" Rin cried as she buried her face in the crook of Sesshoumaru's neck. "Why did you go away? Is it because you don't like Rin and Mommy anymore?"

"Daddy did not go away, Rin. Daddy has always been here…" He tried to explain, rubbing circles on her back and holding her closer to himself. She felt so thin, so painful underneath the cotton of her pajamas. "How can I not like my little Rin?"

Kagome mentally noticed how he omitted her name. He only said he liked Rin.

"No, Daddy went away. Rin could not find you, and it made Mommy and Rin cry. Mommy said you don't want us anymore…" The little girl vocalized the agony that Kagome could never bring herself to say.

"Mommy's just kidding with you, Rin…see, Daddy is right here with you." He closed his eyes at the painful memories of their failed marriage three years ago, and the times he neglected them just because of work.

"Don't go away again, Daddy…" She pleaded, before adding a sentence that almost cracked the adults' hearts. "Next time you go away, you must tell Rin where you go, OK?"

Sesshoumaru shook his head. "Daddy will not go away again, alright?"

"You promise?" The childish voice was so full of innocence; Sesshoumaru could never bring himself to disagree.

"Daddy promises," He replied. "I will not go away again."

Rin did not know how those words of hers then made two grown-up hearts feel guilt beyond anything they have ever felt.

* * *

After Rin was tucked into bed and Sesshoumaru scheduled for a bone marrow compatibility test that weekend, Kagome and he walked out of the hospital together. 

"Sesshoumaru…"

"Hm?"

"I want to thank you for coming over to visit Rin." Kagome replied, ever so politely and awkwardly. "It means a lot to her. I've not seen her so happy since a long time."

He shook his head slowly. "I am her father; this is what I should do."

She nodded, for she knew he was right. However, there was something else she needed to address, even though it was not pleasant.

"I hope you did not make an empty promise though." Kagome started softly, knowing how sensitive the issue was. "Rin…Rin would not be able to take it if you were simply patronizing her."

He looked away out at the darkness that was the open carpark. He knew she was referring to the past when he neglected the two of them to the point where their marriage could no longer hold on.

"That was not an empty promise." He said in a quiet, firm voice. "I will fulfill what I said…if you give me the chance, that is."

That was his subtle way of pointing out to her the results of her selfish act of withholding their new address from him, while it then hit her amongst the guilt pangs that it was only too easy for him to charge her in court for barring him from their daughter. He had all the financial and legal capabilities of doing so, but he did not.

She nodded dumbly in agreement again, for he was always a man of his word, before bowing her gratitude again.

"Then in this case, I thank you once again for coming down here despite your busy schedule."

He bowed slightly in return. It felt weird to have her bowing to him, for they were after all, once married.

"Let's get going then."

Striding out towards the direction of the car park, he was surprised to hear no traces of her footsteps behind him.

"I'm going that way, Sesshoumaru." Came her soft voice from behind him. He turned, and he could see her head inclined in the direction of the bus stop just outside the hospital.

His eyes must have looked slightly questioning, for she instantly took it as a cue for her to explain.

"I sold my car."

He looked a little apprehensive, before he spoke up. "I'll send you home."

"Thank you for your offer, but that would not be necessary. I can take the direct bus back."

"It's dark," He said in a matter-of-factly tone, with underlying authority. "It's not safe for you."

"I've been going home by this way since I sold the car half a year ago. Don't worry, I'll be fine." That was the stubborn streak which led to her current plight. "Besides, it takes only fifteen minutes."

"I insist, Kagome." His tone was level, but she knew he was getting slightly impatient.

She turned to him with what she hoped was an exasperated smile on her face.

"We are divorced, Sesshoumaru. You don't have to be so nice to me." She smiled forcibly, watching his face remain oddly impassive. "Good night."

As she walked away with a heavy heart, she failed to notice the way his gaze lingered on her.

* * *

_To be continued…_

A/N: There you go, chapter 3! Chapter 4 will contain a citrusy scene…so for all those who actually like lemons, you can look forward to that! However, it deals with more of psychological issues than anything else. It might not make sense now, but it will later. Also, I will not be posting it here since its basically not right to do so. **I've updated up to chapter 4 on A Single Spark, the Sess/Kag fansite, and also writing under the pen name MissTeak. Check that out if you are of a legal age to read mature content!**

Please don't forget to drop a review!


	4. The Gnawing Pain

Standard disclaimers apply.

A/N: Thanks to all those who reviewed last chapter, and it seems to me like everyone is keen on how the divorce between them came about, and this chapter will seek to explain. Also, you get to see Kagome's psychological sufferings of the divorce, despite her appearing to be alright.

Please review!

**Title: Love after Loss**

**Chapter 4: The Gnawing Pain**

* * *

Sitting alone on the quiet and barely filled bus, Kagome peered out of the glass to look the whizzing blur of darkness on the other side. It was times like these where there was nothing to look at, nothing to focus on, that her traitorous mind would summon all the excruciating memories and the harsh reality of life back to her.

Involuntarily, her ex-husband and her daughter would always haunt her mind. She could not shake them off, no matter how hard she wished she could.

Seeing him today again after such a long period of time definitely did not make things easier for her. Sure, it was the best news that he was so willing to play a part in saving Rin's life with her, but that also meant his constant presence in their lives in the days to come. After all, he had no intention of breaking the promise he made to Rin.

Why does this scare her so much? Why does this make her feel so forlorn and yet so joyous at the same time? Sometimes she could not understand herself.

The bus came to a sudden halt at the traffic light, and Kagome lurched forward slightly, only to drop her purse on the floor. Bending to pick the opened purse up, Kagome's hand froze momentarily above the item before picking it up with renewed determination.

For facing her from the purse's compartment, was none other than a photo of Taisho Sesshoumaru. It was not exactly a photo either, for she brought none of those with her when they separated. Instead, it was something she came to regret later, for the photo was actually a magazine clipping. He appeared constantly enough on magazines and newspapers, to the point where she could not forget him even if she tried, for she worked at Kinokuniya bookstore.

Looking at his stoic face, she recalled the days when they were actually once happy and loving.

It was like a fairy tale, really. Sounding absurd but yet so possible.

She was working at the marketing department of Taisho Holdings; initially as a third rank manager a few years after her graduation from college with a degree in Business administration.

A young, spirited woman who knew no boundaries to her future, Kagome worked hard, working for what she aimed for in life and constantly dreaming of challenging herself to do better. Of course, in a highly meritocratic society like Japan, her efforts were all well paid off. In fact, by the age of twenty-seven, she became the assistant general manager of her department, being highly valued by her seniors, such as Mr. Toutousai, who personally recommended her for the post before his retirement.

Work was never seen as a chore to her, and it only took one event to change her life completely. That was the event when she led a small team to save Taisho Holdings from losing more than fifty million US dollars, using her expertise in strategic marketing. That event was where she found herself crossing paths with their then COO, Taisho Sesshoumaru.

It was a high profile courtship, with Sesshoumaru having no qualms as to what he could do to get this impressive beauty he fell for in the office. Kagome arrived daily at work punctually to a delicious home cooked breakfast, a bouquet of flowers or an occasional soft toy and a note asking if she would go out for lunch with him. He did not play the anonymous game either, for at the bottom of the note, it was always neatly signed off with a "Taisho Sesshoumaru".

She fell for him too easily, for there was nothing holding her back from this man. He was successful to say the least, attractive, professional, and most importantly, he made his feelings for her known. He did not play mind games to keep her guessing, and that did suit what others said of him; Young Mr. Taisho was never one to beat about the bush. His little creative touches to his courtship of her were interesting too; it made her feel unique and valued. There was once when he actually served her coffee during tea break, taking over the duties of her secretary.

Everyone thought it was a fairy tale set in the heart of modern Tokyo. It appeared to be a match made in heaven, between two who could match each other in the eyes of public so well. Only that crack lines began to surface in the second year of the marriage, leading to the weak foundation that totally crumbled after a mere three years of being together. Rin was barely two when they filed for divorce.

It began three months after their marriage, when Sesshoumaru's father surprised everyone with his sudden decision to retire and spend a few years at Hokkaido, enjoying life at its basics. The former CEO's sudden departure rocked the entire executive and management level, and just like the next step in a game of chess, Sesshoumaru took over his father's position as the CEO of Taisho Holdings' board, before reshuffling his cadre of subordinate executives.

Kagome was given a promotion to the rank of Chief Marketing Officer, with a direct reporting relationship with the CEO. No one made any objections to her promotion despite knowing she was the CEO's wife, for she had more than proven her capabilities and potential over the years to everyone. Furthermore, her friendly character, never overbearing, brought about the amazing effects of her enjoying excellent interpersonal relations with her colleagues.

The next four months of working together closely with her husband was the best time of her life at Taisho Holdings, and together, they brought their company to heights never preceded by anyone else. Everything was going fine, despite Sesshoumaru's increasingly busy schedule that looms as a shadow over their marriage, until Kagome noticed the absence of her monthly period.

While work had been terribly hectic for the young, high-flying couple, their married life was hardly affected. After all, life revolved around two individuals who could easily understand each other's situation at work, and that made things easy for them. The love was there, the work was there, and the sex was nothing less than she could ever wish for. Sure, they had their fair share of arguments and bickers, but it was nothing that could do lasting damage. Not even when a friend from college, Kouga, tried to pester her all over again after meeting her at a conference meeting with his company. Of course, that was a minor issue, and the couple was not at all affected.

It was only when she noticed the absence of her period, did she remember the occasional nights she skipped taking the contraceptive pills, only to spend the entire night making love with Sesshoumaru.

But…things could not be so coincidental, could they? But just like any coincidence, it was totally coincidental. Kagome found herself slightly more than a month pregnant, seven months after they were married.

Sure, like all first time fathers, Sesshoumaru was thrilled to know about Kagome's pregnancy. But it was precisely what he did out of love for her that led to the first step their marriage took towards demise.

He took her off his cadre of executives, replacing her with her subordinate in the marketing department. On top of that, he made the fatal mistake of not telling her beforehand.

She thought him to not understand her at all.

He thought she would understand him.

Heated fights ensued, and both said things they regretted saying later on. Such included phrases like "Chauvinistic bastard", "unfeeling idiot" and "Know your place, woman". Kagome could not get over the fact that he expected her to stay at home and quietly grow big with his child. Sesshoumaru could not comprehend why Kagome could not see his objectives despite her being such an elite member of his team.

To make things worse, being both of a strong character, neither made the first move to clear up this misunderstanding. So despite things appearing to be alright after some time had passed, the underlying damage already existed.

As he worked hard to cope with the increase in his workload, she was left alone at home with almost no involvement in her job, and all of a sudden, for the first time in six years since she started working, Higurashi Kagome found herself having nothing to do in the huge residence. She questioned herself, and she found no purpose in her new form of existence. He did not fire her; neither did he allow her to do anything about it. She wished she could yell at him, "You are not the boss of me!", but the fact remains that he was indeed, her boss.

At this point, the bus came to a stop near her rented apartment, and Kagome alighted, walking down the street that leads to the place she called home.

As her feet shuffled along, she recalled the months she spent in dreadful loneliness, while he went out at seven and only came back around midnight everyday. When he left she was asleep, and when he returned, she was asleep as well. Such was the horrible situation of their life together after her pregnancy and his temporary termination of her work at Taisho Holdings.

Or at least, what she thought was temporary.

It was only later that she found out from him that her job had not been temporarily terminated until the child was born. In fact, he wished for her to play the traditional role of a good Japanese mother and devote her life to caring and raising the child, just like his own mother did.

He had plans for everything in life. Every single detail.

Unfortunately, she had too, and their plans clashed in the worst ways possible.

Following the birth of Rin, things did not improve much. Sure, Sesshoumaru made as much time as he could for the two of them and Rin brought joy, but to an upset Kagome, his efforts were not noticed. In fact, the only thing she could see them as was insufficient.

He thought he was already sacrificing a lot.

She thought she sacrificed too much, and he, not at all.

This led to another bout of horrible fights. From simple lack of time, things escalated to the point of the word "neglect" being used. Perhaps not financially, but emotionally and physically.

Following even more disagreements and Kagome's secret desire to return to the work force, faced with Sesshoumaru's steely objection against that, their relationship came to a bottleneck. Because of this, and their very creative usage of vocabulary due to education, both blamed each other for what was their "irreconcilable differences".

To make things even worse, Kouga once again stepped into the picture to harass Kagome, and to an irate Sesshoumaru, the word "infidelity" popped up. It made him say words which left her crying, and the damage once done, was hard to undo. It was all these combined problems that led to their parting, just like how a lake could never freeze over in one night of cold, their issues were accumulated to what both believed to be the breaking point.

Still young and ambitious then, Kagome initiated their divorce, stating reasons for her inability to live around him. She felt as if he was her obstacle to everything in her life, and if he was gone, she would get everything back. But she failed to notice that sometimes, she was the obstacle to herself. If only she would look properly, she could see her own mistakes. But of course, she failed to, and they stepped onto the path of a divorce.

Inwardly sighing at the way things turned out, Kagome inserted her key into the keyhole and turned, pushing the door to her small apartment open.

Her thoughts of Sesshoumaru were now no longer filled with the anger she felt then, but instead, more of a loneliness echoing in a void which only he seemed capable of filling. Today, after seeing him again, she somewhat regretted her earlier decisions. He was not her obstacle. Without him now, she was more miserable than ever. She was also no longer the young, spirited woman she once was. In fact, she was jaded and tired of the way things were, especially when Rin fell prey to the evil claws of cancer. Seeing how he still cared for Rin made her feel terribly guilty for trying to hide her from him.

Nothing was going well, and it only made her feel more forlorn than ever. She did not know what exactly it was, but she thought herself to be a little depressed. It was going in a sick, vicious cycle of angst, and there was hardly anything she could do to make herself forget.

It was only then when she curled up into the fetal position and cried uncontrollably, until sleep took over.

_

* * *

To be continued…_

A/N: Hope you guys enjoyed this! Basically, if you wanted to read the whole chunk of the citrusy stuff at the end of the chapter, you would have to go to A Single Spark. I've posted this story there as well, under the same pen name. Thank you to all who reviewed! You keep me going!:)


	5. His Family

Standard disclaimers apply.

A/N: Here's a big thank you to everyone for being so supportive of this story! I hope you like it as much as I am, even though it is really pretty depressing for now. But of course, things will get better, unless my evil muse decides to conjure up some nastiness.

In this chapter, I will be exploring icy fluffy's interior! Read on to find out more of Sesshoumaru's thoughts and see what he thinks of his divorce from Kagome. This also takes place on the night at the hospital.

**Title: Love after Loss**

**Chapter Five: His Family**

* * *

Keeping his hands folded in front of his chest, Sesshoumaru looked ahead at the back of the woman waiting at the bus stop a distance away. She sat with her legs folded daintily, but her slumped shoulders indicated her lethargy, her hand occasionally moving up to brush stray hair from her face.

He did not know why he chose to sit in his car and spy on her from behind the tree. He should have gotten going by then; there was a crucial meeting tomorrow afternoon which he had to prepare a presentation for. But yet something in his heart told him he could not leave. Not when she was all alone at the dimly-lit bus stop.

Hence there he was, procrastinating. It was a taboo for a workaholic and a perfectionist like him, but for now, he would not bother about it.

Even though he knew very well they were divorced.

It had been a terrible for him.

First of all, he had to endure the very boring speeches of one of his clients who basically had a pretty low proficiency in Japanese language.

Secondly, his ex-wife whom he had not seen for three years appears right outside his office.

Thirdly, he learned that his only child had contracted acute myelogenous leukemia.

Last but not least, he found himself refusing to leave the car park until she boards the bus.

Things could not get worse for him, and suddenly, he felt anger at how things have turned out so horribly. Never had he experienced such utter failure, and he had to do so in his marriage.

It also made him terribly upset to see the way she was struggling with life and their daughter, even though he would never say so.

Knowing of her current financial trouble, her juggling of two poorly-paying jobs, and Rin's illness from the lunch they had earlier on, made a stab of guilt go through his heart. It was never like him to feel such pain; he always opted to bury pain under indifference in the past, but when Kagome and Rin were involved, he found himself unable to do so.

Honestly, it broke his heart when Rin spoke to him earlier on. The insecurity in her voice only shone a spotlight on his failure as a father and husband.

Granted, he had tried searching for them at Shinagawa after they moved away, with Kagome keeping the new address from him. She was selfish in that sense, but thinking from her perspective, it was not hard to imagine why.

He had been a bastard in the past.

He said things he should not have said, he did things he should not have done.

He did not have any affairs outside, but he could not deny the fact that he indeed neglected them somehow three years ago. Sure, he did make time for them, bringing the then infant Rin and Kagome on family outings, only to leave them halfway more than one occasion when things needed his attention at the company.

Kagome would be left all alone with Rin in a stroller, while he would then call her and tell her to wait somewhere for the chauffeur to pick them up when the day had ended. He did provide for them physically, but emotionally, he did not. Thinking back, he cringed inwardly at the mental image of his wife walking alone with their baby amongst crowds of other women and children who had their husbands and fathers with them.

Frustration at work also made him a horrible husband. The stress brought about by suddenly taking over his father's immense duties and yielding the authority was initially suffocating to him. Back at home, Kagome would be disgruntled with his attitude towards them, but instead of listening to her, he would shut her up with harsh words which brought tears to her eyes every time.

"_You've changed, Sess…you're not what I used to know!" Kagome cried when he returned one night at two in the morning. "What exactly is it that you have to spend so much time on at work?"_

"_As you said, it is work. I am working, even if you are not, you should be able to understand this simple theory."_

"_I didn't want to talk about this initially, but since you have broached the topic, fine! Have you ever asked yourself, who is it who led to me not working now?" She retorted in tears, striding over to stand right in front of him. He ignored her, and instead, turned his attention back to his computer screen. "Answer me, Sesshoumaru! I've been contributing so much time and effort to this family…what about you? Where are you in this family? Do you even do anything?"_

_That snapped something in him, before he stood up angrily as well from his desk._

"_Me? Haven't I been making time for you and the baby as much as I can? How dare you tell me I have no contribution at all?" He asked angrily, feeling the rage take over. "You are being utterly ridiculous, woman! The very roof you are living under is paid for by me!"_

"_So now you are saying we will all die out on the streets if it wasn't for your magnanimous heart to let us live here? Did it ever cross your brilliant mind, that if I got to go back to my job, I'll be perfectly capable of getting a house too?"_

"_So it all goes back to the topic of your job! Listen up! My decision is final, Kagome. You will not go back to your job."_

"_Why not? Why should I go with your wishes? Am I not an individual? Or am I simply a lower organism compared to your highness Sesshoumaru? You…you chauvinistic bastard!"_

_Tired and furious, Sesshoumaru shouted in a voice that made Kagome jump. "Enough of this nonsense! You should know your place, woman! Besides, you have no need to work at all. Every single cent you earn even as CMO is from my family! You draw your pay from me. Does it make any bit of difference in the least?"_

That was the first time he ever used his higher financial power to push her into submission, and even though the temporary thrill of knowing he shut her up was good, the guilt that struck later on was enough to make him feel like a class A jerk.

That was not the only bad argument they ever had. They had more…so much more than their fair share of fights and arguments. The worst, which was what led to her moving out of the house, occurred after he vented his frustrations on the irritating guy Kouga who had been pestering Kagome.

"_Why did you do it?" Kagome asked quietly, placing her chopsticks down by her bowl of rice._

_He kept quiet and went on eating, deliberately evading her gaze._

"_Why?"_

_He picked up a piece of radish pickle with his chopsticks and placed it in his mouth._

"_I asked you why you did it!" Kagome shouted, pushing her chair back and standing up. Somewhere behind the two of them, the baby started wailing at the top of her lungs. "How can you be so despicable?"_

"_Sit down, woman. I am only giving him what he deserves." He replied icily. "And you should go see to Rin."_

"_Do you have any idea what you did, Taisho Sesshoumaru? Any idea at all?" Kagome asked, throwing her hands up in exasperation. Sesshoumaru noted that she neither sat down nor attended to the baby._

_If Miroku, her good friend from the Finance department, did not inform her, she would never know that her husband cancelled the business dealings under Kouga's name with his company, resulting in the other company incurring a loss of more than a hefty 60 million US dollars. In doing so, Taisho Holdings also lost approximately 10 million dollars, but to an irate Sesshoumaru, that was worth it. As a result, Kouga had to issue a public apology to his company and resign from his post._

"_I know very well what I did."_

"_How can you do something so extreme? Just because Kouga-kun is always pestering me does not mean you should do this to him! Besides, you don't stand to gain from it, do you?"_

"_Kouga-kun? How intimate, Kagome." He pointed out in a matter-of-factly tone, with traces of bitterness underlying his voice. "I was merely showing that fool not to come near what belongs to me!"_

"_Intimate? What the hell are you talking about?" Kagome asked, her eyes widened in shock. "What are you hinting at again? You are overstepping the line! How can you even hint at something like that?"_

"_What, I hit the nail on the head?" He asked in an ice-clipped voice. "Can't bear to see him suffer, can you?"_

"_This is ridiculous! Your attitude is so…boorish!" She shouted, while the tears started with a will of their own again. "I don't know how I can talk to you! Suddenly, I feel as if I do not know you at all."_

"_You can go talk to him then. You know what I call this? I call this infidelity." He said, only to have the full force of his words hit him like a sledgehammer._

_Her sobs died, and the only sounds left in the huge house were Rin's helpless whimpers from her crib._

"_Kagome, I…" He started when she turned to go, her eyes void of emotions. "Kagome, wait-"_

"_You said it, Sesshoumaru." She said icily, turning to look at him with eyes filled with hurt. "So this is what you've always wanted, right?"_

"_Kagome, come back here. Listen-"_

"_What's there more to listen to?" She threw back. "I hope this makes you happy."_

With that, she left with baby Rin in tow. It was a month later when he received the letter from her lawyer.

And this was exactly how things came to be.

He exhaled loudly and leaned his head on the steering wheel. In the chilly interior of the car, the DJ on air was the only other voice he had for companionship.

"Did anyone know it was Chinese New Year four days ago? If you did not know, I am sure you are not the only one. Did you also know that Japan used to follow the Chinese lunar calendar until the Meiji Revolution? If the Western calendar had not been adopted, we would have been celebrating the New Year a few days ago as well. Like every other New Year celebration anywhere, what matters most is the presence of the entire family, isn't it?"

Sesshoumaru's eyes opened at the mention of the word 'family'.

"So what about you, dear listener? In the hectic society we live in today, do you spare time for your family members? Do you think about them when you are busy with your own affairs? Sometimes, it is important to show them you still care. You don't have to do a lot, perhaps just a phone call, or a simple dinner together-"

He pressed the "off" button, before silence took over. In the silence that reigned, the air-conditioning was the only thing he could hear.

She was still waiting for the bus. Her back arched slightly as she yawned involuntarily, before hurriedly raising her hand to cover her mouth.

"What do you know about family?" He asked the silent radio absentmindedly, drumming his fingers over the steering wheel. He did not know who he was asking. It might be himself, it might be anyone else. "What do you really know?"

Things are not as easy as they appeared. That was easily proven from his own experiences. Right now, if it was not for his dying daughter, he would not even be seeing them. He did not even have a proper family. His father was in Hokkaido with his stepmother, while his half-brother was stationed in the other branch of Taisho Holdings in Shanghai. His biological mother, divorced from his father, was somewhere in France.

His life, if you took away all the glorious success at work, basically sucked.

Then the bus came.

She left.

He left.

_

* * *

To be continued…_

A/N: Now you got to see things from Sesshoumaru's POV and even more about their past together! What do you think about this? Let me know! Please keep supporting "Love after Loss" as well.


	6. Results

Standard disclaimers apply.

A/N: Here's chapter 6 for all! Thank you very much for all your reviews - They are really encouraging:) Please review and I hope you can continue supporting my story!

**Title: Love after Loss**

**Chapter 6: Results**

* * *

It has been a few days since Sesshoumaru went for the HLA tissue typing test.

Kagome sighed inwardly, running her face over Rin's slightly puffy face, before giving her a kiss on the cheek. Beneath Kagome's eyes, were eye bags that spoke of the mental and physical stress she was suffering.

Today's chemotherapy session went horribly, with a usually obedient Rin throwing a major tantrum and crying fit in the morning. Being of a tender age, she was not suitable to receive chemotherapy orally, and had to receive all three chemotherapy drugs through spinal taps, where the drugs were injected into her cerebrospinal fluid.

She would usually stay still and kept silent until the pain became too much for her little body to bear, but that particular morning, she kept crying and screaming, demanding for her daddy. Kagome could totally understand how scary it was to have a needle inserted into your back, even as an adult. What about the fear a child felt? It was immeasurable.

There was nothing Kagome and her mother could do to calm the emotionally-disturbed Rin down, and in her panic, Kagome had dialed Sesshoumaru's office number.

Kagome did not know what he said to Rin over the phone, but the little girl calmed down visibly, and with little difficulty, the doctor and nurses were able to administer the suitable doses of chemotherapy for Rin.

However, it was also due to the chemotherapy, that Rin was unable to keep her lunch down at all. She threw up every bit of food she consumed an hour ago during lunch, unable to even keep sips of water down. It broke her heart to see her daughter suffering like that, and she could not help but send a silent plea to the gods above to stop tormenting Rin.

"Mommy…Rin feels funny…"

"Yes, baby…Mommy understands you are not feeling well now…" She brushed Rin's hair away from her face, noticing how even as she did so, a small clump of hair fell along with her hand. It was excruciating to watch.

"Is Rin's hair going to be all gone?" Kagome's eyes turned in the direction of the owner of the weak little voice, who was watching the clump of hair intently.

She smiled and shook her head, before changing the topic quickly. How was she ever going to tell the child that?

"Shall I sing a song for Rin?" Kagome asked, placing her larger hand over the child's little one. "How about Mori no kuma san?"

Rin nodded with the biggest smile she could manage in her weakened state. "Rin loves this song. Uncle Souta sang it to Rin yesterday, but he always got the music wrong at the end."

"Really? Then you must get well quickly and we will teach Uncle Souta how to sing it properly, alright?"

As Kagome sang with false cheerfulness and exaggerated hand actions, Rin mouthed along.

"Aru hi, mori no naka kuma-san ni deatta! hana saku mori no michi, kuma-san ni deatta!"

(One day, I met Mr. Bear in the forest! On the forest path where flowers are in bloom, I met Mr. Bear!)

As they sang, Kagome suddenly noticed Rin was no longer mouthing the lyrics along with her. Instead, her frail-looking hand was reaching out towards the door, and her eyes were shining with a joy Kagome has not seen since the day Sesshoumaru visited her.

Turning to look at the door, her heart did a little leap when she saw her ex-husband standing there, holding a large teddy bear up.

"Kuma-san no iu koto nya Ojousan onige nasai!"

(Mr. Bear said, Young Missy, quick escape!)

Hearing Sesshoumaru sing to an obviously delighted Rin, who was squealing and trying to turn to the side when her ex-husband moved the teddy bear closer to her, Kagome couldn't help the smile that appeared on her face.

As she watched the two of them finish the song together, she turned to Sesshoumaru and gave him a little nod of gratitude.

He returned her nod, before turning his attention back to Rin.

"Kuma-san wa mori kara kimashita! Ojousan no Rin-chan wa ii ko de ita no kai?" He asked in a voice that was meant to sound like Mr. Bear from the forest.

(Mr. Bear from the forest is here! Has Young Missy Rin been a good girl?)

"Yes!" Rin exclaimed, smiling broadly despite being unable to sit up fully in bed. "You really came, Daddy!"

"Of course...didn't I promise you that this morning over the phone?" Sesshoumaru answered softly, his eyes sweeping over her form only to see the toll the illness had on his daughter. She was deathly pale, and her hair was thinning rapidly.

He continued, ignoring the ache in the depths of his heart at the sight of her. "So, since Daddy kept to his promise, should Rin keep to your promise too? Will you promise to be a good girl and listen to everything Mommy tells you from now on?"

Rin nodded, before her little hand reached out for Kagome's.

"Mommy…Rin is sorry. Rin was a very bad girl this morning. Rin made Mommy sad again."

"No, darling…no you haven't been a bad girl…" Kagome shook her head quickly, before leaning over to embrace Rin. "Mommy is not sad…not at all…"

Sesshoumaru watched on from his standing position, and it only added to the heaviness of his heart with the knowledge that he was going to bring Kagome greater hurt later on.

"Rin-chan!" Came another little voice from behind. It was another little girl from the same ward, who was suffering from a brain tumor. She was one year Rin's senior, making her six years old.

"Ai-chan, konnichiwa!" Kagome smiled at the little girl, before making space for her to stand by Rin's bed.

Ai greeted the adults and brought out two large picture books from her bag, before saying, "Rin-chan, my aunt brought these books for me yesterday when she came here! Do you want to read them together with me?"

Rin made a move to nod, before looking up at Kagome for permission. Kagome smiled in return, and it was not long before Sesshoumaru and Kagome were tucking two little girls into the bed with a large picture book opened across their laps.

As the little girls chatted and laughed at the colorful pictures in the book, Sesshoumaru spoke up to the silent Kagome.

"Can we go outside for awhile?"

She nodded, and they walked out together to the lobby where the couches and coffee table were. Somehow, the seriousness in her voice gave her a horrible feeling. Whatever he was about to say could not be good, and she knew it.

"Coffee for you?" He asked.

She nodded.

She sat down first, before he took his place beside her on the couch, placing two Styrofoam cups of coffee on the table. She noticed his tastes did not change; it was still black coffee without creamer. And he remembered her preferences too. Coffee with low fat creamer, and half the amount of sugar. He picked up the cup meant for her and placed it in her hands.

He did not speak up immediately, and it felt as if he was deep in thought.

"What is it?" She broke the silence first, even though her voice sounded slightly hesitant. "Is it about Rin?"

He took a deep breath.

"I received the results of the compatibility test."

She froze, and her hands wrapped themselves tighter around the cup. Despite her external composure, Sesshoumaru could clearly see the surface of the brown liquid shaking, evidence of her quivering hands.

She used to think that waiting for the release of exam results was the worst feeling, but this was easily worse than all her past exam experiences added together.

"And?" Her voice came out like a whisper, almost inaudible. He turned to look at her, and their eyes met. She did not evade his eyes, and bravely looked into his, searching them for any answers. "How did it go?"

He looked back into hers. Those beautiful brown eyes of hers were something he loved so much, shaped to the point of perfect measurements, with wit and gentleness underlying the warm brown. They were still beautiful, but they looked so sad now. Lined with broken red capillaries, framed by darkened eye rings, she looked so upset. He tore his gaze from hers, before shaking his head.

Her mouth opened in a soundless gasp, before a weak breath escaped her, and her eyes closed.

"It was a half-match," He replied in a soft voice. "Not enough for a bone marrow transplant."

She nodded weakly, before hurriedly placing the cup back onto the table before her weakened hands dropped it onto the flooring.

She could feel the tears rising behind her eyes as the horrible news kicked in.

Sesshoumaru's bone marrow could not save Rin either, and he was her father. What other hope was there for Rin? How can she be saved? If they did not do anything about it, her little girl was really going to die.

"I am sorry, Kagome."

She shook her head amidst all the acrid tears, before answering in a choked voice. "No…there's no need for an apology. This is nobody's fault…we cannot blame anyone for this…"

He kept silent, and she cried on.

"What am I going to do now? What am I going to do?" She sobbed bitterly, pushing her fringe away from her face with her palm. "She is only five, Sess! Five…she has such a long way to go! I told her she will get well for sure…I don't wish to be a lying mother!"

"Kagome! You are already doing your best!"

"No…no…she's responding so poorly to the chemotherapy treatment…and the doctor has already told me that it is almost…almost impossible for her to get into remission with chemotherapy alone…" Kagome cried, recalling the doctor's words earlier on. "She can't even eat properly now…she threw up everything she had for today's lunch! I don't know what to do…what can I do? I'm so useless…"

He stayed silent, while she cried on.

"Earlier on in the ward, she asked me if all her hair was going to be gone…I…I didn't answer her…how am I going to answer her?" Kagome choked back a sob. "And now, our final hopes are gone…I really don't know how long I can stay sane, Sess…I don't know how long I can hold on like this alone! I am already not thinking about the money issue…but right now, it seems that…that no amount of money can save Rin! I am so tired…I don't know if I can take it anymore-"

Her sentence died as he pulled her into a tight, crushing embrace, pressing her close to him with his hand placed on the back of her head.

"Kagome," He whispered, inhaling the light rose scent of the shampoo she always used. "Listen to me."

Her initially stiffened frame relaxed before she wrapped her arms around him, leaning in deeper to close in the distance. She clung onto him desperately, crying all the pain bottled up in her heart out. He felt like the anchor to her ship in this choppy ocean, and all she could do was hold on.

He interlaced his fingers in her hair, before promising her as sincerely as he could.

"You will not be alone in this from this moment onwards, Kagome." He said, pulling apart to look into her red-rimmed, watery eyes. "Because I'll be with you and Rin from now. Every burden, worry or fear you have, I will share them with you. Don't worry about the money issue too. Just leave that to me. Do you understand me?"

The tears were once again welling up in her eyes before she nodded in agreement. He pulled her back into his embrace, closing his eyes reveling in the feel of her in his arms again after so long. He missed this feeling, and knowing he could bring comfort and peace to her brought peace to his heart as well.

It was only too bad he did not treasure what he had in the past. Now, it was all too late. She was only his ex-wife, and there was a invisible line he should never cross.

"We'll never give up, Kagome. Rin is our daughter, and I swear, I will do anything I can to save her."

_

* * *

To be continued…_

A/N: This was the first chapter so far to make me cry as I write! I sincerely hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, especially the interactions between all three of them. Even though I have to say I like the last part best!


	7. Trying Hard

Standard disclaimers apply.

A/N: Hope you guys enjoyed the story so far! Of course, it will take awhile for the two of them to, you know, get together again and all, for it will seem so dramatic should they easily proclaim their love for each other in the next three chapters to come.

In this chapter, Sesshoumaru tries contacting his family members for help in getting their HLA tissue types checked to see if it matches Rin's.

**Title: Love after Loss**

**Chapter 7: Trying Hard**

* * *

Scanning his eyes over the drafted email on the computer screen for one last time, he checked the address boxes and pressed the button for "Send".

_"Dear all, this is Sesshoumaru. I hope you are all doing fine, but I sincerely wish you will be able to do me a favor. My daughter Rin has contracted acute myelogenous leukemia (AML), a fast-growing cancer of the bone marrow and blood. Her best chance of survival is in receiving a bone marrow transplant, and for that, the HLA tissue type of the donor must be a full-match to hers. Both my ex-wife Kagome and I have gone for the test, and we are only half-matches. If we do not do anything soon, according to the doctor, Rin might not be able to live past the age of eight. She is only five now._

_I know I haven't been doing much as a son or a brother over all these years, but we would appreciate it greatly if you can do a HLA typing test and send me the results from wherever you are. Shown below is my address and fax number…"_

He closed his eyes and leaned back in his seat for a moment, breathing in the cool, fresh air of his office. Since when had he last emailed his family members? In such a formal and polite tone too? He could not really recall.

He thought of the email going out from his computer, flying all the way out to the skies above and beyond, only to fly to the respective inboxes he intended the mail for. There were so much mail being sent daily, and it was oddly fascinating to think of how they would not get lost in the hectic mail traffic.

He swiveled around in his chair to look out of the window, looking out through the gaps of the blinds to see the azure blue sky peeping back at him. For some reasons, everything made him think of her now.

That day at the hospital, when he so instinctively drew her into a tight embrace, only made things more awkward for them now. He did not know what made him say all those words to her. It was as if…as if they were still together as a couple. So what exactly is their status now? The entire ordeal with Rin's illness only served to make their relationship even weirder. They were divorced, so they should not be on such close terms anymore. At least that was what he thought.

After she calmed down relatively, Kagome had drew away from him awkwardly, before hastily evading eye contact and making only polite, detached conversations for the rest of the day. He could only reply whatever she was saying, or simply keep quiet as both tried their hardest to ignore the mounting tension in the air.

The blue sky offered no explanation for whatever was going through his head.

At that instant, the mail alert rang. Sesshoumaru turned back to his computer screen, seeing the familiar pop-up which said, "You've got mail!"

Sitting closer to the screen, he clicked on the link to his inbox, before his eyes widened slightly in surprise.

It was Inuyasha, replying from Shanghai.

The email read, in what Sesshoumaru thought was a classical Inuyasha manner, like that.

_"Hey Bro! What's up? Alright, actually I do know what's up. It's just damn bad that something like that had to happen to poor little Rin-chan! Don't worry about the test; I will definitely go for it ASAP. I'll ask others to go for it too, you know, you never know if there are compatible matches out there! Has old pops replied you? If not, tell me and I'll bug him till he does._

_Please tell Rin-chan to stay strong and get well soon! Then all of you can come over to Shanghai to visit! It's great here – the shopping, the metropolitan city, the meat dumplings, Peking duck and the Chinese girls! Woohoo! Totally fantastic! Alright, don't ever let Kikyou know I said that. Oh, she just told me she wants to fold a thousand paper cranes for Rin-chan and send them over. That's my traditional wife for you!_

_I'll send you the results of the test once I get them done, so till then, take care!"_

In the past, he would feel irked whenever Inuyasha spoke, but right then, the loud-mouthed way in which his half-brother spoke was almost…heartwarming.

Unable to help the small smile which crept up his face, Sesshoumaru pressed the button for "reply". After replying, he would go out for lunch.

A while later, over at Shanghai, Inuyasha smiled in return. For on the computer, two simple words were facing him.

It read, "Thanks, Bro."

* * *

Kagome gritted her teeth and opened the cardboard box rather forcefully, to reveal the neatly packed books in the box. Replacing the pocket penknife in her pouch, she took the books out by the dozens and arranged them as neatly as she could on the display shelf.

Twenty in a stack, she mentally noted, checking the list on her clipboard before reaching into the box for more of the books.

"Higurashi-san!" Came the voice of a colleague, Horimaki Yui. "Do you want to join us for lunch?"

Looking up at the face of her colleague, she shook her head. "It's alright, Yui-chan. I brought my own food. Thanks for asking me along."

The young girl nodded in acknowledgment before asking again. "Are you sure you don't need any help here?"

"I can manage," Kagome smiled. "Now run along before the other girls get to sit beside Tachibana-kun."

Yui smiled bashfully as Kagome mentioned the boy she had a crush on, before turning in the direction of footsteps approaching them.

"Can I help you?" Yui asked politely, while Kagome continued her task of arranging the books which had just arrived that morning from the publisher.

"I'm looking for Kagome."

At that familiar voice, Kagome's head snapped up, only to see Sesshoumaru standing three feet away from her. Struck with the sudden awkwardness of the situation, especially what happened at the hospital that night, Kagome smiled politely and bowed in greeting before standing up.

"What brings you here today?" She asked, suddenly conscious of her job and her duties. It seemed oddly embarrassing for him to see her shelving books.

"To look for you." He was, as usual, so straightforward in his speech and action, giving her no time to react properly.

"I see…" She smiled, mentally fidgeting from the awkwardness of the situation, before picking up the empty cardboard box from the floor.

"Higurashi-san, I think I better get going..." Yui smiled at Kagome before bowing to Sesshoumaru with a cheeky smile on her face. "Now, I know why you refuse to go for lunch with us. Enjoy yours!" She added with a whisper by Kagome's ear.

Kagome smiled in exasperation and watched as the young girl left with her other colleagues at Kinokuniya, before turning back to the man in front of her.

"Why do you not go for lunch with the others?"

"I brought my own food, you see." She explained, before walking to where the staffroom was.

He followed her and watched as she disposed of the cardboard box and checked her hair in front of the mirror where her locker was. Opening the locker, she retrieved a steamed bun from her bag, before taking a seat at a small table. He did not take the seat opposite her.

"So, what is it you wish to see me about?" She asked, taking a bite from the bun.

"Is that all you are eating?" He asked, almost incredulously if it wasn't for the fact he was well able to mask his emotions.

She nodded, before taking a sip of water from her bottle.

"An 80 yen mushipan from the convenience shop can hardly be called lunch." He replied in his ever so straightforward manner.

"I'm not dieting, and neither am I anorexic, Sesshoumaru." She said softly, before taking another bite. She knew where the conversation was leading to, and it would not be before long when he questions her lack of care for her own body.

He did not say a word, and she took another sip of water in silence.

She placed the bottle down to pick the half-eaten bun up, before his hand beat hers to it. He picked the remnants of her lunch up, before tossing it into the wastepaper basket by the table.

Her eyes widened in surprise, before she exclaimed. "Wha-"

"You will not be eating such things if I can help it." He grabbed her arm firmly but gently and pulled her up into a standing position.

"What's wrong with eating that?"

"Do you have any idea how thin you're getting?"

"Pardon me if I don't have enough money to go for lavish lunches and dinners." She was getting a little irked at how he was acting like her private nutritionist.

"Come with me," He said, walking towards the door while holding her by the hand. "I'll pay for lunch."

"Sesshoumaru, I hope you can stop treating me like a charity case." She sounded almost helpless.

"I never said you were one. But I am very sure you are the mother of my daughter, and I won't let you suffer like that."

That, gave Kagome no more reasons to refuse his lunch treat.

_

* * *

To be continued…_

A/N: Alright, no major progressions in this chapter, but nonetheless, is it more or less getting clearer to you guys that Sesshoumaru cares for her?

Please review!


	8. Our Happy Times

Standard disclaimers apply.

A/N: Hi! For those who have been following this story closely, I apologize for the slowdown in updates. I am having college exams this week, and every waking moment is basically spent studying. LOL. Some life, huh? I gave myself a short break to write chapter 8, and I hope you guys will enjoy it!

In the last chapter, Sesshoumaru drags Kagome from her office to go for lunch. For the very first time since their divorce, the two of them talk about themselves instead of Rin. However, things were not going well for Rin in the hospital.

**Title: Love after Loss**

**Chapter 8: Our Happy Times**

* * *

"Sesshoumaru, this is-" 

"Go, enjoy yourself." He replied in his typical straightforward manner, effectively cutting her off from anymore words.

Kagome could only hold back her gasp, as she turned once more in her seat to look at the enormous spread of buffet lunch at the dining hall of Tokyo Prince Hotel. It was extravagant to say the least, and the fact that she was dressed in her Kinokuniya staff uniform was making her feel oddly out of place.

Delicious aromas of cuisine all over the world wafted in the cool air of the interior. The soft classical music playing in the background, along with the breathtaking view of the Japanese style manmade garden right on the other side of the glass was more than enough to make her feel unique, to the point of being pampered.

To think it was her ex-husband who was sitting opposite her.

"What are you waiting for?" He asked softly, as if the calming surroundings had an effect on him as well.

She nodded wordlessly, and stood up from her seat, walking over to where all the food was arranged in highly sophisticated style. Walking along the long aisle of food, she took a bit of almost everything. How long have she not had the pleasure of having so much good food on her plate? She had already forgotten about that.

Kagome was still walking around the Chinese food area slowly, wondering about the difference between the various types of steamed buns, before her thoughts ran back to Rin. Her little girl loved having steamed buns, especially those with red bean paste filling.

Any thought of Rin at any time only brought about frustration, unhappiness and anger with herself. She deprived Rin of a complete family, and must have somehow led to her being deprived of her health as well. Furthermore, she knew very well she herself was struggling to make ends meet, yet whatever remained from her pride in her heyday only made her more adverse towards accepting help from Sesshoumaru. This in turn, was yet another thing she was depriving her child of.

As a mother, she had failed utterly, or that was what she firmly believed.

Picking one of the freshly steamed buns up, Kagome returned to her table, only to find Sesshoumaru already sitting there. There, in the middle of the table, was her favorite toro sashimi again.

As she took her seat, he noticed her facial expression, but no words could accurately describe what he was observing. She seemed as if she was touched, for her mouth was upturned slightly in what he thought was a sweet, shy smile, yet her eyes betrayed her completely. They screamed pain, agony and fatigue.

Clearing his throat slightly, he made a gesturing motion at the sashimi. "You like this, don't you?"

He received a nod with a slightly wider smile this time round.

"You did not go near the Japanese food section, so I just…"

"Thank you, Sesshoumaru." She said almost inaudibly, before adding. "For remembering."

His questioning eyes met her sorrowful ones.

"I didn't expect you to remember such details." She said frankly, picking up the glass of water by the side and lifting it to her lips. The slight trembling of her hand was indication of her weak mental state.

It did not go unnoticed by him, but he would not point it out to save her some embarrassment.

Perhaps it was the beautiful, romantic atmosphere lingering around the two, and like a sort of enchanting magic, it made them think things they tried not to think of, made they say words they never thought they could say.

The usually stoic Sesshoumaru replied in his usual stoic manner, but the contents of his sentence were not at all cold in the least.

"There are some things one can never forget," He replied simply, de-shelling a prawn quickly on his plate with a fork and knife. That was something Kagome could never do. "No matter how hard they tried."

She nodded after he said the last part, for his eyes left the plate to look directly at her.

"Some things are just…unforgettable." She replied softly, and even though they did not openly announce the direction the conversation was heading in, they both knew what was coming. "And some, simply unexpected."

"Like how I never thought I would see you again." He said. That was his reply to the underlying meaning of her previous sentence.

"Neither did I. I thought you'd have gotten married again or something. Or at least, have a girlfriend." Kagome replied, placing a piece of grilled beef in her mouth.

"Me?" Sesshoumaru asked, before shaking his head with a wistful smile holding a trace of cynicism. "You overestimate me, Kagome."

"You were never one to be overestimated." Kagome smiled equally wistfully, taking another sip of water. This time round, her hand was no longer trembling as much. Facing the pain directly seemed to prove itself a better remedy. "It's simply a matter of whether you want to do it or not."

"How about you?" He asked. For some reasons, it made his heart wrench slightly. "Are you seeing someone now?"

She laughed softly, shaking her head as she did. "What gives you that idea, Sesshoumaru? Once bitten, twice shy, I guess. I don't take failure very well."

"There are many things which I failed at in life too. Whether I like it or not." He did not emphasize more.

She completely agreed, for she shared the failure. "You know…It has never occurred to me we would get a divorce."

He stayed silent for a moment, before his hands stopped in their process of cutting a bite-size piece from the roasted lamb. "Neither did I."

Kagome smiled wistfully, as she tore a piece of the Indian roti prata and dipped it into the curry. "Did we use to be happy, Sesshoumaru?"

As the words left her mouth, she felt an ominous feeling in her gut again. She had let too much of her hidden emotions go in this comfortable ambience, and she was saying things she could never bring herself to voice out. The roof of her mouth went dry, and she hastily picked up the half-empty glass of water.

"We had our fair share of good and bad times." He answered her honestly. "They all leave an impression, and once left, it is had to erase."

"That's true…" She agreed, her mind rewinding back automatically to the times when they were happy. Because of the unhappiness she was facing, all she could think of was her unhappiness before their divorce. In some way or another, she had mentally undermined all the joy he brought her in her brimming angst.

"Remember the time we visited Singapore?" He asked, the corner of his mouth upturned slightly at the recollection of them visiting one of the sunny islands off Singapore's shore. Filled with memories of soaking up the sun with the gorgeous sand and sea then, he could only constantly remind himself it was a matter of the past.

She nodded with a smile, remembering the lovely time she had at Sentosa's Underwater World and the Pink Dolphin Lagoon with him. "Of course…how can I ever forget that?"

"Someone even wanted to buy a pink dolphin back." He commented, watching the smile on her face widen at the memory of herself refusing to leave the place until she got one of the pink-colored friendly sea creatures.

They did not, of course, but he had been quick to buy a beautiful pink dolphin plushie for her to bring back to Japan. That was enough to make her really happy, but that was not the only sweet thing he did. What really touched her and renewed her love all over for this man was the fact that once they got back to Japan, he personally contacted the island resort and officially adopted one of the dolphins under the name of Taisho Holdings. He surprised her with the gift on her birthday that year.

"It is a lovely creature! You would have loved it too if it wasn't for the fact that it splashed water all over you back then." Kagome smiled with a slight blush tinting her cheeks, as memories of a partially drenched Sesshoumaru came back to her. "I wonder how it is doing now."

"Never better," He replied, remembering her vibrant smile when she first found out he adopted the dolphin for her. She was so beautiful, so happy then. "They are constantly updating me with the dolphin's details."

"You're still participating in the adoption program?" She asked, genuinely surprised. She had not expected him to do so. She thought he would have drawn out of funding the dolphin, for after all, he had done so in the first place because of her.

He simply nodded, his expression unreadable.

They had spoken so much about going back to see the dolphin once they get the opportunity to do so, but work had always acted like a looming barrier over that possibility, and following Rin's birth, it all the more made things impossible. Before they could even go, they had gotten divorced, and the dolphin only became a painful fragment of memory which both tried not to revisit.

"We never got to go back to see it, did we?" Kagome commented, cutting up a piece of stewed sea cucumber before placing it in her mouth.

"Yeah…we were always too busy." He agreed. It made a tinge of sadness flood his heart though.

"I wonder how much larger has it grown…" She said, her head tilted slightly in an adorable manner as she thought. "Is it still as cute as we last saw it? Gosh, how I wish I can see it for myself again…I really, really want to go back there…"

She slapped herself mentally as she yet again said too much. Why was she instinctively whining again in front of him?

"We will go back there together after Rin recovers." He stated in his straightforward tone again, leaving the emotional implications of his words to hit Kagome before sinking in gradually. "I'm sure she will love to see the pink dolphins too."

"Definitely." Kagome smiled in return. The idea of visiting Singapore again with him brought mixed feelings to her heart. Pain, at the knowledge of them being separated, yet an indescribable excitement at knowing how they could visit the place which held memories for them again.

The topic was getting slightly too much for her to bear, and Kagome hastily switched the conversation topic.

"So, you did mention you had something to tell me earlier on, right?" She asked, finishing up whatever was remaining on her plate before picking up a slice of toro sashimi. "Can I know what it is?"

"I wanted to tell you that I've already contacted Father, Inuyasha, Izayoi and Mother." He said, watching as she bit into the raw fish slice. "I have not heard from the others yet, but Inuyasha has agreed to go for the test, along with Kikyou. He also promised to ask around for more people to get themselves tested for compatibility."

Kagome's eyes shone with gratitude. "Thank you, Sesshoumaru. And to Inuyasha and Kikyou too. It really means a lot to Rin."

"Why are you thanking me?" He asked with a small smile. "Is she not my daughter? Is she not their niece? We are all family, Kagome. The fact that Rin is related to us by blood will never change."

"You're right." She smiled in agreement.

"She will be fine." He assured Kagome yet again, looking into her eyes. "There are so many employees under Taisho Holdings…I do not believe we cannot find a suitable match among them."

She nodded silently with a smile, while looking back into his eyes. They were as intense and mesmerizing as she remembered them to be, and behind those eyes resided strength, determination, authority and…a tenderness she chose not to identify.

At that point, her cell phone started ringing merrily. They hastily broke their eye contact, as she began fumbling around for it in her purse before pressing the button for "accept" and holding the phone to her ear.

"Hello?"

Sesshoumaru watched as the casual smile on her face fade instantly, before all the color drained from her face to leave her looking deathly pale.

The tears which he had gotten almost used to seeing her in, once again threatened to brim over, before she wordlessly let the phone slip from her ear, holding the device weakly in her limp hand.

"Kagome…Kagome, what's wrong?" He asked hurriedly. Things were not looking good, and he could guess the only reason why she would be reacting like that.

She shook her head slowly, her mouth partially opened as she breathed shallowly. A tear fell, followed by a second drop, before they trickled down in small streams.

He knew he was not going to get a reply from her in this state, and he hurriedly reached across to take the phone from her. Her fingers offered not a bit of resistance as he removed the phone.

"Miss Higurashi?" Came the voice from the other side. "Are you alright? Please calm down-"

"I'm her husband." Sesshoumaru introduced himself immediately without thinking. "Can I know who this is?"

"I'm the principle doctor for Miss Higurashi's daughter, Taisho Rin. My name is Nakatani."

"Nakatani-sensei. I am Taisho Sesshoumaru, Rin's father. Can I know what happened?"

"I hope the two of you can come over right now. Rin has been hit by pneumocystis pneumonia, and is right now, in the intensive care ward-"

"We will be right there." With that, Sesshoumaru hung up, and his eyes once again met Kagome's teary ones.

"Kagome…"

"Can you send me to the hospital?"

"What are you talking about, Kagome? We are going there together." He answered firmly, helping her weaker frame up. She felt limp, as if all the fighting spirit has been drawn away from her body.

"Sess…how can this happen to her?" She cried as she walked, her weight mainly supported by an equally worried Sesshoumaru. "Is her suffering not enough? Her immune system is so weak now…she could die from this!"

"Stay strong, Kagome. You have to for our daughter." He knew deep down Rin's life was in terrible danger from the doctor's tone and whatever medical knowledge he had accumulated from reading over the years. "She will be fine, she will be fine…"

He did not know if he meant what he was saying.

Ignoring the stares they were getting, Sesshoumaru walked on with Kagome by his side while a helpful waiter immediately ran over to render assistance.

It was not long before they were on their way, speeding in the direction of the hospital.

_

* * *

To be continued… _

A/N: Evil cliffie again! This chapter definitely showed another side of Sesshoumaru and Kagome's relationship, didn't it? Hope you guys enjoyed it…please review! It makes me write faster!


	9. Shocking News

Standard disclaimers apply.

A/N: My exams are over! Yay! So here I am, continuing on this story which I personally, am addicted to. It's addictive to write this, really. As for the pink dolphins, yes they are very real too! I forgot where they originated from, but if you do happen to come to Singapore, you might get to see them at Sentosa Island. I really want to buy one, but all I have is a photo with it.

Alright, on with the story! Shock alert ahead! Find out for yourself, enjoy the story and please review!

**Title: Love after Loss**

**Chapter 9: Shocking News**

* * *

"Doctor, how is my child?" Sesshoumaru asked, his voice filled with urgency. The pediatric oncologist's office was filled with the typical atmosphere of the hospital – gloomy, dreary and reeked of medicine. Once again, the similar attempts at masking the unhappiness using brightly colored animal pictures and the little jar of chewable vitamins for the little patients on the doctor's desk were making him sick.

Sitting beside him was an equally worried Kagome, whose eyes were still shining with tears as she tried to read the doctor's expression. From what she could decipher from his facial expression, things did not bode well.

Everything was happening so fast, and she could not help but feel like an audience of a horribly dramatic movie. Maybe it was indeed a dream which she could awake from, to find all the terrible happenings gone from her life.

"Mr. Taisho, Miss Higurashi," The aged doctor's tone was strained, albeit still professional in the face of the parents' anxiety. "Due to the chemotherapy, Rin is suffering the side effects, namely leucopenia. It is the decreased number in her white blood cells, leading to a very high vulnerability to infection. Hence, the pneumonia is now causing very heavy damage on her body-"

"Please, all I want to know is if she will be alright…" Kagome spoke up abruptly, interrupting the doctor. "That's all I want to know…"

"Miss Higurashi, I do not wish to hide the truth from you either." He answered gravely, the tone of his voice setting a gloomy background for what he was about to say. "But the mortality rate for leukemia children with pneumonia is…it is at approximately 28.5 percent. Complications might arise because of their immunodeficiency, and a bout of pneumonia…may prove to be…to be fatal."

Silence enveloped the interior of the doctor's office, before Kagome said in a breathless, low whisper, "You…you're saying there's around 30 percent chance that she will die?"

The doctor did not say a word, and instead, nodded gravely.

Sesshoumaru remained deathly silent, while Kagome started crying. Suddenly, she felt as if her world collapsed.

"Doctor, you have to save her! You have to save her…she's all I have…she's all I have…" Kagome sobbed, her body shaking with her wracking sobs. "Please…"

Watching Kagome in such great distress only made Sesshoumaru feel the need to protect her, hold her and assure her that everything would be alright in the end. Personally, he would not know what to do if Rin died either.

How could such a horrible thing befall them? What did they do to deserve this suffering?

"Doctor, money is not an issue. Please do whatever is in your ability to help our daughter."

"Mr. Taisho, please rest assured that we will do our best to save Rin." Doctor Nakatani bowed politely in return, while Kagome sat by Sesshoumaru's side, her tears falling silently.

"Can I see Rin?" She asked in a hoarse, soft voice choked with tears.

"No, Miss Higurashi…I am afraid that is not possible." The doctor had an apologetic expression on his face as he spoke.

Kagome released the breath she did not know she was holding, before looking around helplessly. The blood was rushing in her veins, and all she could feel was the rapid beating of her heart and the dizzy cold that engulfed her mind. It was already devastating to know that Rin might not survive this, and to be unable to even see her was driving Kagome's sanity over the edge.

"Why? Why can't I see her?" She cried, feeling a whole new wave of tears coming again. "My little girl is dying! Can't I see her?"

"It's not that I refuse to let you see her, Miss Higurashi. It is just that Rin's immune system is exceptionally vulnerable to viral infections at the moment, which is why we've isolated-"

"Isolated? Wh-where is she? I have to see my daughter…I must see her!" Kagome said frantically, before pushing her chair back and attempting to stand up. Her weakened knees buckled under her, but she tried to support herself on her arms against the back of her chair. "Why are you isolating her…she will be so scared!"

"Miss Higurashi, please listen-"

"Kagome, calm down! Get a grip on yourself, Kagome!" Sesshoumaru stood up to hold her, placing his hands on each side of her shoulder in a bid to hold her back to sanity.

"Let go of me, Sess…I need to see Rin now…" Kagome sobbed, straining against Sesshoumaru's hold.

"She's in good hands, Kagome! She will be alright…" He assured her without relinquishing his hold on her. "Don't worry…we must stay strong for her…"

"But she will be scared, Sess…she has never slept alone in a room before…Will she sleep well? Who will talk to her…?"

"She will be fine…haven't I promised you I'll do anything I can to save Rin?" Sesshoumaru asked, looking at his ex-wife intently. She was devastated, he could tell. The eyes he loved so much told him of all her pain. "We must not give up, Kagome!"

Kagome's fight against his hold gradually slowed down despite her words, before her thin frame went limp completely in his grip. Nodding weakly, she pressed her hand over her forehead, feeling the coolness seep into her skin.

Settling Kagome gently back into the chair, Sesshoumaru turned to the doctor.

"So once Rin recovers from the pneumonia, she will be put back onto the chemotherapy treatment?" He asked patiently, trying to keep the painful emotions in his heart out of his voice. Kagome was already on the verge of falling over the edge; it was up to him to stay strong.

"Yes, that will be the plan for now. We'll be increasing the intensity of the treatment to hopefully, achieve remission in the earlier stage."

Sesshoumaru nodded, before asking again. "However, I understand that she's not responding very well to the treatment. What if the chemotherapy, even with an increased intensity, fails to work?"

"In that case, which is not impossible, her best chances of survival would be a bone marrow transplant." The doctor answered. "However, finding a suitable match is usually the most difficult aspect."

"I understand. But even for both of us, as her parents, is there really no way we can donate our bone marrow to her?"

"You see, Mr. Taisho, I can understand your anxiety to save your child. However, for a bone marrow transplant to be possible, a full match is required for the HLA tissue typing test. From my records, you and Miss Higurashi are half-matches, and that does not qualify the two of you as suitable donors."

"Then who has a chance of being a full match?" Kagome asked before Sesshoumaru could, sitting up straight in the chair. Her red-rimmed eyes were looking pleadingly at the doctor for an answer. "We'll do anything we can to save her!"

The doctor nodded knowingly, before interlacing his fingers in front of him on the table and looking up at Sesshoumaru and Kagome. He took a deep breath and looked up at the two individuals in front of him.

"Pardon me, but I think you might be able to do this…Because HLA tissue types are inherited, the best chances of finding a full match would be in the siblings of the patient. In other words, if Rin had a brother or sister, there is a higher chance of the sibling being able to help her."

Watching the shocked look that registered almost instantly on their faces, the doctor could not help but think. Even to him as an outsider, he could not think of why they would get a divorce in the past. They looked so compatible, and from the way Mr. Taisho supported his ex-wife for the past few days, it seemed as if he still cared for her. Right now, as the shock faded slightly from their faces, embarrassment seemed to take its place quickly.

From where he was, he could see Sesshoumaru turn his head ever so slightly to cast a glance at his ex-wife. Simultaneously, as if on cue, Kagome turned slightly as well to look at the man by her side, before their eyes met for a split moment and both hurriedly turned away.

Recovering their composure quickly, both feigned nonchalance. On Sesshoumaru's face was none other than his trademark stoic look, while Kagome simply settled for staring right at the desk top.

Despite the seriousness of the tense situation set against the dark background of Rin's illness, it was almost amusing to watch the two grown-ups, once married to each other, act like blushing teenagers.

"I see." Sesshoumaru finally said, his voice slightly husky from the awkwardness he felt. Beside him, Kagome simply nodded in agreement. The uneasiness on her face was only too obvious.

She did not even dare to think about it. Neither did she know that the man beside her was also trying hard to not think along those lines of what the doctor just said.

He thought the way she evaded his gaze earlier on was more than enough to tell him what she actually felt about it.

Disgust? Embarrassment? He could not define, but he knew it was not something good for sure.

They could not possibly think about it, or even imagine themselves thinking about it…not when the implications are so great. But along with the implications, came a greater agenda with a higher importance level, and that being Rin's life. In order to save Rin, she would have to create another child with Sesshoumaru.

How is that possible, when they are already divorced? He would never want to make love to her again, not after their separation. It is one matter to interact with him verbally now, but a total different issue to conceive his child. Not to mention the controversies in her heart over creating a life to save a life…wouldn't it seem unfair to the little one? Not really, though, for she would love it as she loves Rin.

Kagome realized with a start that she was already thinking about the baby when it was just impossible for her to have another one with her ex-husband.

Of course, they would never reach that stage of this final resort, would they?

_

* * *

To be continued…_

A/N: Alright, I know I am evil. But I love torturing these two! And am pretty sure you guys are enjoying this as well! Rin will get better, I promise!

Love the tension! Please review as well!


	10. Family Warmth

Standard Disclaimers apply.

A/N: Thank you for all your reviews for the last chapter – I hope you like it! In this chapter, Kagome receives a phone call from her ex father-in-law, Sesshoumaru's father.

As for those who are still waiting for them to kiss and make up, I'm really sorry but that will not happen too soon! It's not easy for them to do so, and I wish to take a mature approach to this story. All I can do is put myself in their shoes, since being at 19, I neither have a husband or a kid. Lol. Thanks for understanding!

Read, enjoy and review!

**Title: Love after Loss**

**Chapter 10: Family Warmth**

* * *

The rumbling of the train underneath her feet could be felt so clearly in the emptiness of the train at Akihabara. It was already approaching twelve midnight, and she had distributed fliers till she totally forgot about the time. That explained the number of people on the train, or rather, the lack thereof.

She was so tired, and fatigue, seemed to flow along with the blood in her to every part of her anatomy. It felt like a numbing drug, and it left her sitting alone weakly on the seat, looking at her reflection on the glass of the opposite side of the train.

She looked horrid. Sure, she was well groomed for work, but it was her facial expression and the overall feeling of lethargy which she was emanating that was preventing her beauty from shining. She closed her eyes and exhaled. She appeared to be nothing more than a shadow of her past.

Looking down at her calves, Kagome noticed the emergence of a few varicose veins on her otherwise flawless fair skin. The bluish green varicose veins, caused by prolonged hours of standing, were such a stark contrast to the milky white background on which they were.

Should this be Kagome from three years ago, she would have made a big fuss. The Kagome of today merely removed her gaze from her legs to resume staring at nothing. It seemed like all these trivial matters could not matter less.

What on earth had become of her? Recalling her hysterical fits would make her cringe, now that she was not directly facing the issue. How embarrassing it was, to lose control of herself, sob and demand to see her child in front of Dr. Nakatani. Kagome had used to be cool and efficient in times of crisis, and fretting was never her thing to do.

She knew very well, she was getting a little bit…mental. But it wasn't as if she could help it in any way. When the pain strikes right in the heart, it is impossible to pause and ponder if one's actions would seem embarrassing or unfitting. Emotions just don't work that way, and she was pretty sure she was made of flesh and blood as well.

At this point, her phone rang.

Thinking it was the hospital, she fumbled around frantically for the device, before pressing the button for "accept".

"Hello?" Her voice came out breathy, speaking of her fear.

"Kagome? This is Otousan." Came the deep, slightly husky voice belonging to her ex father-in-law.

Otousan…he was still referring to himself as 'father' when talking to her. Kagome felt relief flood her heart for it was not the hospital calling; To her, Dr. Nakatani's calls resembled announcements from hell.

"Yes, this is Kagome. How have you been, Ot-, Mr. Taisho?" She quickly corrected herself. She should not address him by 'father' when she and Sesshoumaru. were already divorced.

"Why the formalities, Kagome?" Her father-in-law did not know how much he resembled Sesshoumaru over the phone. "I would still like for you to address me by Otousan."

"But…I'm no longer your daughter-in-law…" She said, feeling a twinge of hurt in her heart.

"I know you're divorced from Sesshoumaru. I hope you don't mind me getting your new number from him." The old man said. "But my child, I'll always regarded you as my good daughter-in-law. You and Kikyou are the daughters I've never had, and I will not trade you for anything else in the world. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Otousan." Kagome smiled, the warmth of family love seeping into her heart slowly like warm syrup. "How are you doing? Are you getting used to living in Hokkaido?"

"Yes, it's already been three years, and I think, age is making me forget my old life back in Tokyo. It's a great place here, Hokkaido…It's so different from life in Tokyo." He replied, before concern in his voice revealed the actual reason behind his call. "It's been hard on you, my child, for these few years."

"No, Otousan. It's not hard at all…I still can take it." Kagome lied, in fear of causing the old man worry. He did not deserve to worry.

"You don't have to put up a strong front, Kagome…I've heard about Rin's condition from my son. How is she doing?"

Hearing those words made Kagome's defense crumble, and in a soft voice, she admitted. "No, she is not doing so well. In fact, on top of the leukemia, she suffered a viral infection, leading to pneumonia. Right now, she's in intensive care."

"Oh no…my poor little baby…I'll come over to visit her soon, Kagome." He replied, the hurt in his voice at hearing of Rin's suffering evident. "In the meantime, please stay strong. I'm counting on you to look after my little grandchild."

"I will." Kagome promised, promising herself at the same time with renewed determination. "Besides, Sesshoumaru has been a great help ever since I told him about it. He has been doing a lot for us."

"Of course. That's what a man should do, it's only right that he's doing that."

Kagome could not help the little smile that crept up her face. If there was one thing she liked best about the Taisho family, it would be the good upbringing old Mr. Taisho emphasized in his sons. Without it, he wouldn't have managed to bring up two very outstanding young men.

"Yes…if he hadn't offered help financially…I really don't know how I could have managed…" Kagome said.

"Oh, yes. That reminds me. Speaking of financial, I have something to tell you, my child."

"Yes, Otousan?" Kagome indicated her attention to his words.

"You see, I contacted your Okaasan, who's in France now, when I heard of Rin's illness." The old man said, while Kagome's thoughts went to her ex mother-in-law, Kasumi, who is already divorced from her husband. "She is very worried as well."

"I'm sorry for causing you to worry…" Kagome started.

"No, Kagome. You see, no matter what happens, the fact remains that Sesshoumaru is our son, you, our daughter-in-law and Rin is our granddaughter. Last year, for Rin's fourth birthday, I could not contact the two of you. So for now, me and Kasumi have prepared a belated gift for little Rin."

"Thank you, Otousan, and to Okaasan as well." Kagome replied, feeling guilt pinch her again, for it only made her feel worse for hiding their whereabouts from the Taisho family since a year ago.

"You're welcome. We are just doing our part as grandparents. Listen up, my child, we've opened a bank account for Rin in a Swiss bank, and as a small gift, we have each put some money in there for her. You are a smart girl who knows the right thing to do, Kagome, so we trust you to use that money in any way you see deem fit. It can be for her medical bills, education…anything, anything you think is suitable."

"H-How can we ever accept such a big gift?" Kagome asked incredulously, her voice shaking slightly. She knew the 'some money' would not be a small sum, knowing her ex parents-in-law. After the divorce, and her deliberate hiding from them, she never expected them to care so much for her and Rin.

"It's not a lot, Kagome…just accept it on Rin's behalf, alright? I will send the details to you soon. I am sorry I cannot do more in any other way, and this is all I can think of doing now, other than going for the compatibility test. Kasumi thinks the same way too, and she will be coming over from Paris in a week's time to visit Rin. Izayoi and I will try to come down to Tokyo soon."

"Thank you so much, Otousan…thank you for everything…" Kagome, who had seemed to have forgotten what warmth was, suddenly felt herself being loved more than ever.

"Of course, on one little condition though."

"And that would be?" Kagome asked through her smile.

"Can you get Rin to call me once she's feeling better? I really miss her sweet little voice!" The old man could be heard chuckling over the line.

"Of course, of course…" Kagome's smile widened. "She misses you too a lot too. She's always asking when you will bring her out to the park and feed the pigeons again. Remember when you came back from Hokkaido to visit that time? She says the cotton candy you buy is the nicest in the world."

The chuckling continued from the other side. "She's a sweet little darling, isn't she? Grandpa's favorite little Rin. Poor little thing…she has suffered so much. First of all, the divorce, and now, the illness."

"Yeah…every time I see her, it makes me feel so guilty for not being able to give her a complete family." Kagome said softly, feeling the emotions in her heart stirring like a wave.

"Your divorce from Sesshoumaru did not affect Rin alone, Kagome. There's me, Kasumi, the rest of the family…and Sesshoumaru."

"Sesshoumaru?" Kagome whispered questioningly, yet somewhat absentmindedly.

"Yes, Kagome. After the divorce, he became even worse, keeping to himself more than ever. That was why I came back from Hokkaido to so-called visit. The truth was, I came over to check on him."

"Check on him? What happened to him?"

"You don't know this, Kagome, because he forbade us to tell you that. After the divorce, he blamed himself, and started drinking very heavily every night. You do know he is a good drinker, right? But that silly boy drank to the point where he landed himself in the A&E on two occasions."

Kagome gasped softly, before silence overwhelmed her. He drank till he got hospitalized? On two occasions too! That was never Sesshoumaru's thing to do…

"Of course, that got me very worried and I came down to knock some sense into him. Before he manages to kill himself with liver failure, that is." The old man's voice was heavy with his emotions, despite him trying to joke.

"Initially, in order to help him stand up on his feet again, I tried to remove your memory from his life. I got the maids to put away your belongings in the house, the photographs…everything, so he could get a fresh start. It hurt me to see my son in a wreck, you know. However, he flew into a terrible rage, especially when he found out I wanted to terminate the dolphin adoption program. He also replaced everything we put away on his own, right after he got discharged."

Kagome could not speak, and she could only feel the onslaught of tears yet again. Her heart ached as she imagined her ex-husband, trying to put everything that belonged to her back in place in his weakened state.

"If you go back to the house, you can still see everything in place. It has not changed at all."

"W-Why are you telling me all this, Otousan?" She sniffled as a tear slid down.

"Kagome…as a grandfather, a father and a father-in-law, I hope you can give my son a chance." The old man was straightforward, getting straight to the point. "He still loves you, Kagome. And Rin too, of course. I can tell."

"But…but it all too late…it's all too late, Otousan. I don't think I can go through it all over again…" Kagome shook her head, feeling the desperation of the situation.

"You don't love him anymore?" Trust the Taisho men to be able to speak right to the point.

"I…I…" Kagome struggled emotionally, before replying, "I really don't know."

"I see. Of course, I can understand things from your perspective as well. It is definitely not easy for you, especially when my son made so many mistakes back then." Came the reply. "Anyway, do take care of yourself, Kagome. And Rin as well. I will see you soon."

"Yes, Otousan. Thank you very much…bye."

"Bye."

And the line was cut, leaving the monotonous drone of the phone echoing in her ear.

The call, which initially lightened her heart, made it heavier than ever with the change in its contents.

To give him a second chance? That was unthinkable…when she could not even give herself a second chance.

_

* * *

To be continued…_

A/N: That was chapter 10 for you! Pressure from the family does work sometimes, actually. This is spoken from a personal experience I've witnessed with my uncle and aunt's marriage. For now, we will see how the story goes!

As for all those who reviewed and gave suggestions, I'll try my best to incorporate your suggestions into the story. However, since I've already drawn up the plan for this fic, it might not be possible to use all of your suggestions and comments. I will do my best though.

Speaking of the controversy surrounding the entire matter with the baby, I have to say that I myself am not in favor of creating one to save one. It just seems weird to do so, and it belittles life to some extent.

However, I think of being in the parents' shoes, and having a dying child often addles one's ability to weigh other factors. I have a cousin who has spina bifida (which is one of the reason why her parent's, my uncle and aunt, marriage has been on the rocks), and if there's anything I could do to help her, I really would. Guess people have to face a real illness, to be able to understand.

Alright, enough said. Just keep reading and supporting the story, and you can see how I will try to play the details out. Thank you!


	11. I can't

Standard disclaimers apply.

A/N: Once again, thank you very much for all your reviews! You guys make me a very happy authoress and from what I hear from you guys, I make you happy readers! So all in all, we are a happy bunch of people. Alright, it's like almost one am where I am, so pardon me for the crankiness.

In this chapter, Kagome and Sesshoumaru talk about the incident plaguing their minds.

**Title: Love after Loss**

**Chapter 11: I can't**

* * *

It has been a week since the talk with her ex father-in-law, and earlier on, Kagome and Sesshoumaru have just received the best news that week.

Rin was recovering well from her pneumocystis pneumonia, well enough to be taken off the ventilator to breathe on her own. Her body temperature has also dropped back to the normal levels, and she was no longer having violent coughing fits.

The doctor said, if everything went well, she should be out of isolation in around two weeks' time.

But among the good news, there were also bad ones. They had also got the results of Inuyasha and Kikyou's compatibility tests, and neither matched. Out of the twelve types of tissue tested, Inuyasha matched three, while Kikyou, one. Kagome was disappointed, but she could not deny the fact that she more or less expected that.

However, for now, Rin was getting much better, and as a mother, she could not ask for more. Kagome smiled to herself, relief flooding her chest like it had not done for a long time since Rin was warded.

"I've not seen you smile so genuinely for a long time." A deep voice interrupted her thoughts, and she looked up from the bench to see her ex-husband in front of her.

She smiled up at him again, before patting the empty space beside her as an indication for him to sit. "I was just happy. It's just wonderful that Rin is recovering well. I cannot be more thankful for this."

He nodded in agreement, sitting down beside her.

"It's like, the pneumonia; it's just one of the obstacles she's facing. For now, it's one down, but there are more to go."

He took a deep breath, before turning to her with his lips pressed together. "Not she. We. We'll survive this, Kagome. We'll fight our way through together."

It was her turn to nod, and she allowed herself to depend on the strength that was Sesshoumaru. He was like a life buoy, really. If she did not have him, she would drown.

She just realized at that point, how dependant she had grown on him and the sense of security which he simply had a way of providing.

If she were a ship, he would be the anchor.

If she were a flower, he would be the stem. If he broke, she would wither. It was as simple as that. Her beauty shone when they were together, and after divorce, look what she had been reduced to.

But everything was too late. Withered flowers do not bloom again. That was the way nature made it to be, and to go against the natural flow of events would be futile.

"Inuyasha asks us to go over to Shanghai to visit once Rin gets well again," Sesshoumaru continued, looking away out at the park bathed in the warm glow of the sun. It wouldn't have looked like they were at the hospital, if it wasn't for the fact that almost everyone there was in a wheelchair, crutches or accompanied by nurses.

"First, Singapore, and now, Shanghai. We'll be really busy flying around," Kagome smiled, looking at nothing in particular in the distance. "If she gets well, that is."

"She will."

A silence grew between them like a bubble, before she burst it with a bitter tone, albeit the smile hanging on her lips.

"You sound like it's going to happen for sure, Sesshoumaru."

He was slightly taken aback by her words. He did not really expect her cynicism, despite also knowing that Rin's recovery was being talked about way too soon. There was no guarantee as to what would happen in the future, but surely one could hope, right?

"What makes you think it will not?" He asked, and both of them froze.

That, was the exact conversation they exchanged before he proposed to her back then.

Kagome gasped soundlessly, before turning to look at Sesshoumaru, who returned her gaze directly. It sounded like a cheesy old drama, but for a moment they could only look at each other, while their minds brought them back on memory lane.

_It was on his car, when he was sending her home after work as usual. The two had stayed back till around ten at night to work out a report for the then CEO, Sesshoumaru's father._

_Sesshoumaru and Kagome had been dating for almost a year then, and as they past by Tokyo Tower, illuminated against the darkened background of the night canopy, he spoke up._

"_One day, with Tokyo Tower in the background, I'll definitely get you to marry me."_

_She cast him an amused glance, before shaking her head in mock exasperation and settled for narrowing her eyes playfully at him._

"_You sound like it's going to happen for sure, Sesshoumaru."_

_He did not say a word, and she missed the small smile on his lips._

"_What makes you think it will not?" He asked as he pulled to a stop at the traffic lights. Turning towards her, he continued, his expression serious and sincere. "I love you, Higurashi Kagome. Will you marry me?"_

_Initially, she thought he was joking. But Sesshoumaru hardly joked. That was when she saw the glittering ring in the opened box on his palm._

_Straightforward, always to the point. Tokyo Tower was still in the background._

_Overwhelmed with nothing but love for the man beside her, she nodded with tears of joy clouding her eyes._

Kagome tore her gaze away, closing her eyes for a split second to block those images out. They were beautiful memories, but laced with pain.

He was always so sure of himself. Whatever he thought he could do, he would do it. Smiling wistfully, Kagome shook her head.

"Things do not work just because you think they will, Sesshoumaru."

He regarded her with a cool, collected gaze, just like the times when they were back at Taisho Holdings.

"I will make them work."

"You don't always succeed." She was quick to point out in a bitter tone, before the realization of saying too much once again hit her like a raging tsunami.

From where she was, she cast a cautious glance at his profile. His face was expressionless, and she thought he must have been offended by her blunt words. She bit her lower lip in nervousness, and mentally cursed herself for being so direct and disrespectful. He was already being a big help to her, being there in any way he could. He did not deserve those words, and knowing Taisho Sesshoumaru, he did not like to hear such things.

He remained silent, and leaned forward slightly so his elbows were resting on his thighs, while his hands lay intertwined between his legs.

The silence was making her nervous, and she started thinking of how she should offer apologies.

"You're right."

"Huh?" She could not believe her ears, and with surprise, she turned swiftly to regard him.

"I said you're right. I don't always succeed." He said, his face still expressionless.

"Sesshoumaru, I…I didn't mean what I said. I wasn't thinking properly…You know how I tend to talk without thinking sometimes, so it just blurted out like that-"

"It is precisely because you blurted it out that I knew you meant the truth." He replied. "If you gave it thought well before you spoke, the truth is usually disguised behind formalities."

"No, it's not that-" Kagome hurriedly refuted, feeling guilt when he did not get mad at her. If he got angry, she would have felt better.

"We both know very well what you are referring to, Kagome."

"Huh?" She settled for a dumb answer, suddenly feeling over exposed under the scrutiny of his intelligence.

"Our marriage. You're referring to it, aren't you?"

She exhaled softly. It was useless to debate that, when it was the truth. Fighting losing battles was never wise. She nodded.

"It will always be my regret."

His words felt like lead on her weary heart, and she cast a forlorn gaze at him. Her ex-husband was never one to speak of regret. He was staring ahead, but she felt he most probably knew she was looking at him.

Those eyes, how long had she not seen love for her there?

Those lips, how long had she not kissed them?

Those hands, how long had she not held them, felt them?

A wave of forbidden desire spread like a warmth over her being, and she closed her eyes in frustration and sadness. She still wanted him. So bad, so eagerly.

"It will be mine too." She whispered in reply.

It was sad, really.

He did not respond to her reply, and instead, said. "Hence for Rin, I don't wish to have any regrets. I'll do anything I can to save her, Kagome. The question is, will you?"

She knew very well what he was referring to. And it was not making her comfortable.

"Inuyasha and Kikyou are not matches, and it'd not be likely that Izayoi would be one too. Father and Mother stand a chance, but…" He let his sentence trail. "Furthermore, they are getting advanced in age."

"Hmm." She agreed, knowing how slim the chances of finding a match were.

"What if we have no other choice?" He continued, while her mouth went dry as cotton and her hands, clammy. "Have you given thought about it, Kagome?"

He was referring to the idea of giving birth to another child between them.

A nod from her confirmed her dilemma on the entire issue.

"I can't do it, Sesshoumaru." She replied, her voice coming out more as a croak than anything else. "I…I can't. It's impossible."

He stiffened noticeably, and turned ever so slightly to look at her. He did not speak, and she continued, with her senses and emotions tangled in a huge mess.

"For one, it is not right. It is not…not ethical. It is a little life we are talking about here." She started in a soft voice, looking at him with as much dignity as she could manage in her emotional state. "We are divorced. It will not be born out of love, Sesshoumaru. I don't want a baby born out of obligation, and I am sure it will not want to be brought to earth like that as well."

He continued looking at her. Why would she think it was not created out of love?

"You don't love me anymore, Sesshoumaru, and you know it. How can we create another baby together? If we really did, what will happen to the child after that? Do I raise it by myself? Or does it stay with you? Will you feel like you want to love and take care of it? These are the responsibilities that come along. Not to mention financial issues, emotional and many more."

"We will love it and take care of it, just like we do for Rin."

"No, it is not as easy as that. You are a logical person, Sesshoumaru. It is really not so easy. Rin…Rin was born when we…when we were in love. It is a complete different case, you know? We are no longer together. We are divorced, do you understand? There's no family unit to speak of…how can we do something so wrong and so…cruelly pragmatic?"

He sighed almost audibly, and when he looked at her, Kagome saw pain in his eyes as well. His gaze was not as intense as they usually were, and they held an undefined shade of forlornness.

"What about Rin? Are we going to watch her die?"

Kagome could feel the tears coming again. She really did not know what to do. There was a high tendency for Rin to be unable to live past her eighth birthday, and if she lost Rin, Kagome did not know how she could continue living.

This had to be the greatest dilemma she had ever faced in her life, and it was making her feel caught in the middle, torn between two decisions she did not wish to make.

"I…I don't know. I don't want her to die, but…" Kagome started crying again. Suddenly, being around Sesshoumaru was becoming incredibly suffocating. She needed to run, escape from him, Rin's illness, the dilemma…everything.

She needed escape.

"I need some time alone…sorry." She quickly said, pressing her palm over her mouth to mask her sobs before she stood up from the bench and started running in the other direction. "I want to go home…I cannot stay here…"

The emotions clogging her mind were so great, almost too much for her to bear. To have the child would have too many implications, and to deliberately get pregnant with the intention of producing a ready-made bone marrow supply for Rin was just…not right. It was morally wrong, and Kagome could not even think of that.

However, the balance in her heart tilted when she recalled Rin's emaciated face back in the ward.

"_Mommy…is Rin going to die?"_

"_Did Rin make Mommy sad again?"_

Her precious little girl was wasting away quickly. She always told herself she would do anything, anything on earth to save Rin. If she could die in exchange for Rin's life, she silently decided she would. But now that there was finally a way out, she found herself being unable to do it.

Everything was so messy…so controversial…life was playing such a cruel joke with her, and she did not know if she could take it any longer…

"Kagome!" She could hear Sesshoumaru calling from behind her.

She hastened her footsteps in her weakened state, and all of a sudden, the world around her spun, too quickly for her to adapt. Feeling her knees buckle under her weight and the emotional burden on her shoulders, Kagome collapsed.

But before she could hit the ground, she felt someone holding her up in a strong grip.

"Kagome! Kagome!"

"Sess…I want to go home…" She whispered almost incoherently, before darkness took over her.

_

* * *

To be continued…_

A/N: That was Kagome and Sesshoumaru's take on the issue! Messy, isn't it? I tried to think from his POV, before switching over to thinking from hers. This poor brain is getting slightly woozy, honestly. Lol.

If you have read chapter 4 on "A Single Spark", you would have known that Kagome tries to find escape from her pain using sexual pleasure. Sesshoumaru will find that out in the next chapter. Chapter 12 takes place in Kagome's apartment. With only the two of them. Let the imaginations run wild!


	12. Caught

Standard disclaimers apply.

A/N: Alright, here's chapter 12! MissTeak feels terribly guilty for all the sadness she's put everyone through! But it has to be done, for only in the darkest places, can we see the brightest light. Hence, for the ending to be good, I hope you guys can bear with me, Sesshoumaru and Kagome through all these heartache. I promise it will be worth it.

Chapter 12 contains a solo **lemon scene**. Finally, for those who like reading it. I'll be changing the story's rating here. This is the full version like the one on A Single Spark, since I thought it would be terribly inconvenient for you guys to go around searching. All I ask of you is to enjoy the chapter and please review! If you don't like it, just scroll down _really_ quickly, and you won't see it. Alright, I've given the warning, so flames will be used to roast marshmallows with.

**Title: Love after Loss**

**Chapter 12: Caught**

* * *

Sesshoumaru watched the sleeping woman by his side on the car, her face half-covered by strands of raven hair as she slept. Earlier on, when she fainted at the hospital, he got a terrible shock. It was as if she was a rag doll, collapsing in a heap just right before his eyes. 

Fortunately, he had moved quick enough to catch her before she could hit the ground fully, and rushed her off to be checked by the doctor.

She was fine, only that she was overcome by fatigue and stress. The doctor prescribed no medicine, and only suggested lots of rest for her.

Glancing at the road directory which he always kept in his car, he found the apartment block in which she and Rin were residing. It was not easy to find the place; it was small and not very accessible. Compared to what she used to live in previously, this is…almost dilapidated. The paint on the short building was peeling; the white surface stained a mouldy green with rain and the lack of renovations.

He made a mental note to talk her out of living in such a place.

Stopping the car outside the apartment gates, he exited, before walking over to the side of the car where she was. Opening the car, he undid her safety belt before cautiously scooping her up in his arms, cradling her protectively against his chest, while holding her handbag which contained the keys.

She felt so light, lighter than he remembered her to be. Her warmth and the light scent of her Kosé Precious Rose shampoo met his senses, before he instinctively pressed his face against her hair, inhaling her scent.

With his other free hand, he pushed the door closed, hoping he did not wake her up with the noise.

Walking into the apartment with Kagome still sleeping soundly in his arms, he took the stairs up to the second level, searching for the apartment unit which corresponded to the address she gave to him previously.

"02-45…46…47." There it was, apartment number 47.

Drawing the key out, he proceeded to open the door, before stepping in cautiously, ensuring that her legs do not bang against the doorway.

Trying not to knock over anything in the small, cluttered apartment, Sesshoumaru made his way into one of the two rooms and gently lay a sleeping Kagome down on the bed, before exiting to lock the door.

Walking back into room, he watched her sleep peacefully on the single bed. She looked so peaceful, so serene, and he knelt down beside the bed to retrieve her pillow, lest she sprained her neck. Up close, he could take a good look at her without worrying if she saw him steal glances. She was thinner than before, and on her legs, where once was flawless, milky skin, was now marred by the emergence of varicose veins.

That was the evidence of her suffering, and it saddened him to see it on her.

Easing his large hand gently under the back of her head, Sesshoumaru lifted Kagome's head up, while placing the pillow underneath so she could sleep comfortably. She stirred slightly at that, making efforts to open her eyes, before he hurriedly stroked her hair.

The sensation of her hair underneath his fingers brought countless memories yet again.

"It's alright, go back to sleep…"

"Hmm…" She mumbled incoherently, before snuggling into a comfortable position and lying still on the bed again. Her breathing once again evened out to a slow, steady one, and her chest rose and fell steadily with every breath she took.

He smiled at how childlike she appeared in that instant, and looked up from her, only to see at the spot previously hidden by the pillow, a pink dolphin plushie.

He could recognize that anywhere. It was the same one which he bought for her back at Sentosa Island when they went to Singapore.

The plushie, now more of grey than pink, was no longer as pretty as it used to be. However, the matted and flattened fur only proved how Kagome did not spend a night without holding it.

Sesshoumaru reached out for the plushie and placed it in her arms, watching how her arms instinctively wrapped themselves around the toy. She looked so innocent, so sweet, and it made her look like a doll.

Watching her, he could not help it but lean over her to lay a kiss on her forehead. From the one on the forehead, he went on to give her another one on the cheek. Pulling back, he inhaled, watching her sleep. But a taste was not enough. Neither were two.

He leaned in again this time round, and placed a kiss on her soft lips directly.

How he wished those kisses were not stolen.

Smiling to himself, he walked out of her room and closed the door behind him quietly.

* * *

Kagome stirred in her bed, before arching her back in a bid to stretch her tight muscles. She was so tired, and it felt as if she had slept for quite a long time. It was a comfortable nap which she had only deprived herself of for far too long. 

The feel of the soft covers underneath her felt really good to her worn out senses, but it was not before long when the memories of that day came rushing back to her in a whirl.

She recalled talking to Sesshoumaru about the idea of having a baby, before running away in tears when the emotional burden became a bit too much for her to bear.

That was when she fainted.

A slight blush found its way on her cheeks as she thought of how he must have caught her before she hit the ground and brought her back to her apartment. How stupid she must have appeared yet again. Casting a look at the alarm clock by her side, Kagome saw that it read 8.45pm.

Propping herself up on the elbows, she strained her ears to listen for any traces of noise outside. She found none; the entire house was quiet. He must have already gone home…after all, she had slept like a log since two in the afternoon.

Thinking about him, and the way he had been there for her in the face of this crisis, only made her long more for him. From the conversation they had earlier on, it was obvious that he wanted to have a baby with her. Sure, she knew that he too, wanted desperately to save Rin's life. However, what shocked her was the fact that he showed no aversion to making lov-, no, she mentally corrected, having sex with her.

There was no love left, Kagome once again reminded herself. Even if he did appear to care for her…but that was out of obligation and friendship, right? After all, he was gentlemanly. She would never believe that he would leave a woman fainted on the ground if he could help it in any way.

Once again, she recalled the feelings he stirred up in her whenever he was in close proximity, like how it was in the park earlier on. The warmth, security and charisma he emanated never failed to stir up feelings of desire in her.

Deep down, she knew she needed him.

Emotionally, psychologically, physically, financially…every aspect she could think of, she would link it to his handsome, perfect face. He was the air itself to her, and that was why she had been so terribly sick for such a long time.

She lost her air supply. She felt like she was barely living, until he came back into her life.

Once again, the wave of forbidden desire spread all over her at the mere thought of her ex-husband, and she could not think of any other way she could escape this growing ache in her heart.

"Sesshoumaru…" She whispered ever so softly, closing her eyes as if to savor the taste of his name on her lips. Deep down in her heart, she knew very well where this was heading. As usual, she would find her own method of escaping the reality to her safe little haven of imagination, where she could fool herself into believing.

She also knew, she would despise herself even more after that, but she could not care less. Not when she was almost bereft of sanity.

If one was already crazy…what difference would it make to be crazier?

Time after time she revisited her desperate path to find some release from reality, and just to remember the taste of him. It was addictive, and she kept going back, only to emerge even more wounded later on.

Turning over to her side, Kagome pulled her bedside drawer open, only to reveal her vibrator lying in there, along with the almost empty tube of lubricant. It had been half-full just two weeks ago.

She suppressed a sigh. Again. She was doing this yet again. Lifting herself up, she removed her panties and skirt, tossing them onto the floor absentmindedly.

Closing her eyes, she dropped her head back onto the pillow, before imagining his face. She tried to recall how he looked like when he made love to her, his voice as he whispered words of endearment…every detail about him, but somehow, the mental image was blurred. It was hard to concentrate on him alone, when somewhere else in her heart, fear of herself and her escapist tendencies was residing.

She gave up on that, and biting her lower lip, unscrewed the cap of lubricant before forcefully squeezing out whatever was remaining of the gel onto her fingers.

She would buy a new one tomorrow.

A sad, mocking smile worked its way across Kagome's face, as she applied the cool gel to her dry nether regions, before picking the vibrator up and positioning it at her entrance.

"Sesshoumaru…" She whispered, thinking of the way he would kiss her deeply whenever they made love. She always knew he liked things rough and passionate, but for her, he would always have reservations towards fulfilling his own desires in fear of hurting her somehow.

A short gasp escaped her when she gradually worked the vibrator into herself, feeling the familiar stretch and the lack of warmth from the artificial device. The friction hurt a bit this time round, for she was still dry, and there was not enough of the lubricant.

"Sess…ah…" She could not help the moan as she turned the vibrator on, feeling the device vibrate and rotate in her vagina. It was no replacement for him, but she would make herself believe. Yes, she would fool herself.

"Harder, Sess…please…" She whispered, before her back arched off the bed as a particularly strong bout of pleasure hit her. Her hand snaked down between her spread legs and she turned the vibrator onto a greater vibrating mode, while keeping her eyes tightly shut the entire time. "Please, Sess…I need you…"

Her fists tightened themselves around the sheets of her bed, while she moaned and threw her head back from the sheer physical pleasure of using a vibrator, keeping a mental image of him lodged firmly in her head the entire time. The growing pleasure resembled a wave of sensations, threatening to sweep her away any moment. Her hips bucked, and she threw her head back.

"Ah…ah…Sesshoumaru…Please, take it away…Take the pain away…"

She had been so caught up in her pleasure; she did not notice the door to her room click open.

Neither did she notice the look of sheer surprise that crossed the face of the very same man whom she was fantasizing about. On that usually calm face, golden orbs widened.

Another bout of sexual pleasure sent Kagome writhing helplessly as she struggled to keep her shaking legs open. She was getting closer…just a little bit more, and she would be able to forget everything in her harsh life momentarily…

"Sess-"

A cry of his name in pleasure died halfway on her lips, when a deep, evidently aroused voice cut through her aroused and overdriven senses.

"Kagome…"

Her entire body stiffened as she clearly heard her own name. Realization of the situation rushed at her in full force, before her eyes flew open to reveal shocked, clouded brown orbs.

Head snapping up and looking at the doorway, she saw him, the man whom she was just thinking of and pleasuring herself to, regarding her with softened eyes. There were no traces of shock left in his eyes, and what resided in those golden depths was…longing, shared pain and what she thought was…love.

She wanted to speak then, to deny…to just say something, but her parched mouth failed her. She lowered her head in shame, feeling her cheeks burn, staring down at her slightly damp blouse while hurriedly switching the vibrator, still embedded deep within her vagina, off. It was embarrassing to say the least, to be caught in the act by none other than Sesshoumaru.

Whatever would he think of her now? Seeing her bottomless in front of him on the bed, in a half-sitting position with a vibrator deep within her spread legs. Did he hear her? Did he hear her call his name in the throes of physical pleasure?

As she silently willed herself to just drop dead with whatever she has left of dignity, Sesshoumaru spoke up, shattering the tense silence.

"Kagome…why didn't let me know?" He asked, taking steps towards her.

She stayed silent, squeezing her eyes shut in shame, before they snapped open in astonishment a moment later.

"Allow me, Kagome. Let me make it better for us."

_

* * *

To be continued… _

A/N: Alright! Chapter 12 up! I really am sorry for the lack of some action between the two of them, but I hope this chapter was good enough! If I were Kagome...well, I'd shrivel up and die or something. Lol. The real action will come in chapter 13; it was originally intended to be put in this one, but I realized that would be too long.

Tomorrow's Monday, which means school week resumes, so please understand should the updating comes a little slower.

Review! Help motivate this authoress!


	13. Filling the void, Lemon warning

Standard disclaimers apply.

A/N: Thank you for all the reviews for the earlier chapter! LOL. Personally I think it's hilarious in a horribly embarrassing way…if I were her, gosh, I will start crying. Definitely.

Anyway, the upcoming chapter is a big fat** lemon. **You've been warned, and if you don't like it,** please do not read it at all.** I prefer my readers to enjoy what I write! I don't plan for this to be a pure smut thing, but I am also trying my best to make it slightly romantic. There's still some stuff to do with the plot at the end.

Enjoy and don't forget to review if you want more chapters!

**Title: Love after Loss**

**Chapter 13: Filling the void**

* * *

"Allow me, Kagome. Let me make it better for us."

Her head snapped up in surprise, before she looked up into his face with widened eyes. Did she really hear right? Did he mean what she thought he did?

_For us?_ Whatever did he mean?

The surprise in her mind faded quickly as the horribly embarrassing situation sunk back into her senses, before she hurriedly turned away from him, looking around almost frantically for something to cover herself with. The vibrator was still buried all the way in her, adding to the burning sensation on her cheeks. It was so embarrassing…he must have thought of her as some sort of sex-crazed freak.

"Can…can you please go out for awhile?" She asked softly, hoping her voice did not stammer.

"For how long have you been doing this, Kagome?"

"Please, Sess-"

"I want to know, Kagome." He asked firmly, before walking over even closer and sitting down right in front of her. His tone softened when he saw the way she cringed as he came closer to her. "Tell me."

She chewed on her bottom lip, thinking of all sorts of ways to evade the suffocating attention on her. How was she ever going to tell him that she had been doing this since their divorce?

"I…I…" Kagome stammered, feeling her heart pump rapidly. "Please, Sess…please leave for awhile."

When he ex-husband simply looked at her and made no move to leave, Kagome gritted her teeth and proceeded to draw the vibrator out of herself, trying to ignore the sensations her body was feeling. If he would not leave the room, she would.

As he watched her do that, Sesshoumaru felt the blood rush in his head. She was always so frustrating – how can a woman be so seductive, arousing, weak, strong and yet so stubborn at the same time? She was always having this effect on him, and it did not help that he got highly aroused by seeing her pleasure herself while moaning his name on the bed.

Did she still love him as he loves her? He did not know for sure. But at least he knew she still found him sexually appealing.

Before the vibrator could leave her vagina completely, he grabbed hold of her hand and pushed the entire length back into her swiftly, eliciting a sharp gasp from Kagome, who fell back weakly onto the propped up pillow on her back.

She was now staring at him with a look he could not read. She seemed as if she wanted to go and stay at the same time; there was this inner conflict written all over her pretty face.

"Sesshoumaru…" She took a shaky breath. "What…What are you doing?"

"Answer me." He replied simply, removing her hand from the vibrator and holding each of her hand in his larger, stronger ones and placing them by the side of the pillow. Her eyes were filled with sadness and anger at his persistence.

"You really want to know so badly?" She whispered back. "I will tell you then…I've been doing this since three years ago. Since we got divorced. Are you happy now? If you are, let me go!"

Frustrated and burning with shame, she struggled against his hold on her. "I've already answered you…what more do you want?"

She even looked beautiful in her anger and embarrassment. Sesshoumaru refused to let go, and continued looking at her intensely, before he swiftly leaned in to close the distance between their lips.

Kagome's eyes widened as she felt Sesshoumaru's warm lips against her own, and she gasped involuntarily at the sudden assault on her senses. Initially, she reminded herself this was not right for they were already divorced. A muffled cry of protest escaped her, but as his lips claimed more of hers insistently, she yielded to the rising sensations and her secret desire, opening her mouth to grant him all the access he yearned.

Sesshoumaru was never one to give up an opportunity. His tongue snaked into her open mouth skillfully, running itself tantalizingly over hers to elicit bouts of wonderfully intimate sensations, while he instinctively released his hold on her wrists to wrap his right hand around her slender waist and his left, at the back of her head.

He intertwined his fingers in her raven black hair, massaging her scalp gently while placing open kisses around her sweet mouth ever so occasionally. As a moan escape the confines of her mouth yet again, Sesshoumaru smiled into the kiss. She was as lovely as he had remembered her to be.

With every move his tongue made in her mouth, Kagome felt her arousal rise all over again in the deepest depths of her body. She could feel the evidence of her arousal seep out from the side of the vibrator to soak a tiny spot on the sheets beneath her, making her core ache and long for more attention. Her hands, now free to move, wrapped themselves around his back, tugging on the length of his hair to urge him on in their passionate kissing. His kisses were her undoing; they were wreaking havoc on her senses, and all she could do was reach out to him to steady herself.

He pulled away for a moment, before looking deep into her slightly dazed eyes.

"Why didn't you tell me," He ran a finger down her spine. "That you were suffering?" He whispered, while observing a sliver of understanding creep onto the glazed look she held. She was panting for breath.

Kagome shook her head, and instead, pulled him closer to herself and kissed him back with a burning ardor which she had not possessed for just too long. This feeling…it had almost been forgotten. Her smaller hands ran themselves over his broad back, only to abruptly tighten their grip on his shirt when his hand snaked down between them to turn the vibrator in her back on without a prior warning.

A breathless moan escaped her and she collapsed against him momentarily when the vibrator in her came alive again, bringing her immeasurable pleasure when combined with Sesshoumaru's expert use of his mouth on hers.

"Sess…ah…" She gasped against his lips, closing her eyes as she let herself go completely in the face of receiving the pleasure. Her hips bucked uncontrollably in the increasingly intense feelings, before he moved back and left her propped against the bed in a semi-lying position, the vibrator moving visibly in her dripping wet vagina, turning the clean baby blue sheets dark underneath her.

"Please…Sess…" Kagome moaned as the knot at the base of her stomach tighten to an almost blinding pressure. It was sweet torture, and she knew he was watching her escalate in the sexual enjoyment, waiting to see her come. That was what they used to enjoy doing in the privacy of their bedroom before their sex life collapsed along with their marriage.

As she threw her head back from the intensifying pleasure, Sesshoumaru reached out to caress her upper thighs, the tantalizing subtlety of his talented fingers sending her mind into oblivion with an almost blinding orgasm.

He watched with satisfaction as she cried out her completion, writhing helplessly on the bed before making sob-like cries from the overwhelming sensations coursing through her entire being, drawing deep, shaky breaths to regain her composure. Watching her reach the apex of her sexual pleasure, her beautiful face flushed as she came, made him want the woman in front of him so much all over again.

He missed the feeling of her so much. To know of her escapist tendencies and the hurt she had been trying to bury only broke his heart and made him want to show her more than ever, that despite what she believed, she is loved.

While she closed her eyes in her attempt to calm her erratic breathing down, he reached down and switched the vibrator off, drawing it out of her slowly as she shuddered with the aftershocks of her climax. Placing the device by the side, he pulled his ex-wife into his arms, holding her as tightly as he could without hurting her. Her limp frame felt even smaller and weaker than he remembered it to be, and closing his eyes to keep the sadness he felt at bay, Sesshoumaru whispered softly.

"Don't ever suffer alone again, Kagome. Promise me that."

Kagome smiled and through the close proximity of their bodies, she could feel his silent sadness. Leaning into his embrace, she nodded against his chest, reveling in the steady beating of his heart beneath the shirt. She missed the old times when they snuggled under the covers together and cuddled.

"Don't hide; don't escape from any problem, alright? I'll be here, all you need to do is tell me." He continued, inhaling the fragrance of her shampoo, now slightly musky, giving the sweet fragrance a sexy touch. "All I ask of you is to be frank with me."

That got a small but determined nod from her.

"I…" She started, looking up to regard him with a slightly hesitant look. He gave her a prompting look, while not relinquishing his embrace.

Kagome looked down shyly at the non-existent distance between them, before saying almost inaudibly. "I need you, Sesshoumaru…I need you to take my pain away."

From the way she acted like a virginal bride, one would never guess they were once married. Sesshoumaru did not reply, and instead, only drew apart from the embrace to kiss her once again.

First, a light, soft caress of lips on lips.

Emboldened by the sensual tingling on their lips, both went back for more, seeking the pleasure and completion they needed and wanted from each other. The kiss was passionate, searing hot even, as the two individuals poured their souls into each other, healing each other in methods no one else could for them.

Her fingers grabbed fistfuls of his long, silver strands as she got onto her knees between his legs to intensify the kiss between them. As she inched closer to him, she could feel it. His hard erection was pressing against her through the fabric of his pants, and as she deliberately rubbed herself against him tantalizingly, both gasped into the kiss.

They were already going too far to stop, and the fiery emotions they were igniting within each other after such a long period of being apart were threatening to engulf them in its searing depths.

_I love you, Kagome…do you know that?_

Sesshoumaru thought as he caressed her face with his fingers, before wrapping a hand gently around the nape of her neck. Her skin felt so soft under his fingertips, and he did not understand how he could have given this wonderful woman up in the past. Whatever had possessed him to let her go? How was he going to get her back now?

He threw these thoughts to the wind as she broke the kiss to start laying butterfly kisses along the column of his neck, before he shook his head firmly. Pushing her on her back gently, he leaned over her and returned the favor ardently to her instead, with the desire of bringing her all the pleasure he could deliver on his topmost agenda.

Kagome moaned softly and leaned back as he skillfully undid each button of her laced blouse and worshipped each bit of bare skin gradually exposed with his addictive kisses. They were as good as she remembered, and her imaginations of him for the past three years could do the real act no justice at all. Her insecurity diminished with his attentions.

"Sess…" She called out his name breathily when she was rid of the blouse and bra under his familiar hands. He ran his roaming gaze over her; she was still so beautiful, so irresistible. Her exposed breasts were now receiving generous attention from him, as he licked around the nipple of her right breast while cupping the left in his right hand. Her tips hardened almost instantly under his touches. "Sess…"

"Hmm?" He mumbled against her satiny skin, never breaking the delicious contact between her nipple and his tongue. His name sounded so sweet when it came from her lips.

"Your…your clothes…ah!" Kagome released a sharp gasp, arching into him as he used his teeth to tease her, tantalizing little bites on her breasts which only intensified the ache she felt between her legs. Her head had this airy, woozy feeling in it, yet her lower regions felt like molten lead.

She needed him so badly, and the void in her now was more pressing than ever. "Please…please…"

He did not need her to beg twice. After all, the night was all about her. For this one night, Taisho Sesshoumaru promised himself, he would make Higurashi Kagome forget all the agony she endured over the past few years.

Standing up, Sesshoumaru kept his eyes connected with hers as he quickly removed his clothing. Her eyes were looking deep into his the entire time even as he unbuttoned his pants, her mouth slightly parted. She licked her drying lips instinctively. That sultry look, albeit not being deliberate, was enough to make him want to get out of his shirt faster.

Kagome lay naked against the sheets of baby blue on the bed, her legs spread wide open sensually while her long raven tresses fanned out from underneath her, while he could only think of how she was as beautiful as the time they first had sex. That was back in his office almost six years ago, but she hadn't changed. If anything, he would say that childbirth only made her body more feminine. She was for his eyes only.

He was the epitome of perfection, and this moment only confirmed what Kagome had always believed once again. He was so gorgeous; it made her heart ache just to even look at him.

Now equally nude as she was, Sesshoumaru walked over to Kagome, before leaning over her while kneeling between her spread legs. The heat from her core, the heady scent…everything was sending his senses into overdrive. When he thought his senses could take no more of this temptation after being deprived of her for so long, he suddenly stiffened with a guttural moan as Kagome gave his turgid erection a gentle caress.

He bit his lower lip in the obvious pleasure, while a secretly overjoyed Kagome continued her ministrations on him with a firm squeeze. She loved it when she knew she was bringing him as much pleasure as he brought her, and the thought of pleasuring him brought yet another course of sensation and wetness at her vagina.

That elicited a soft moan from her, before his fingers reached down to her dripping core to rub along the slit, causing her breath to get hitched. A few more teasing rubs and two long, masculine fingers were delved deep within her to the knuckles.

"Sess…please…I want you now…" Kagome moaned, arching her back and biting down on her lower lip, quivering in anticipation of the loving that was to follow inevitably.

She was about to have sex with her ex-husband. Love, lust…whatever, she did not know what it was, and her heart could not define anything.

He withdrew his fingers from within her hot passage, before settling his hips once again between her legs. Holding his shaft with his hand, he guided the tip to Kagome's entrance, feeling the warmth and wetness engulf his sensitive tip.

She could feel the tingling sensation of anticipation, as their sexes came ever so close to reuniting in three years. But before he could do anything, she said abruptly, trying to raise herself up. Sesshoumaru was surprised, but he paused in his motion as well.

"Hmm?" He sounded deep and husky in his aroused state.

"Wait." Propping herself up on her elbow, she reached across his arm to pull the drawer by the bedside open, before withdrawing a foil packet. It was a condom.

She meant what she said earlier on that day about not being emotionally ready to bear another child, and even though Rin's life was at stake, Kagome cannot bring herself to conceive another child with Sesshoumaru yet. This decision was too hard to make.

"I'm sorry…" She whispered, but he shook his head.

As she tore the foil packet open, she saw a weird look flash across his chiseled features momentarily. Was that…hurt she saw? She did not know, for it was quickly replaced by an expression of desire when her fingers wrapped themselves around his girth again.

Rolling the condom slowly onto his shaft, Kagome leaned in for another kiss with Sesshoumaru, feeling him reposition himself at her vaginal opening. She drew in a sharp breath as their sexes came into contact, and then he moved forward.

It was not a swift, rough thrust like they had tried together before, but instead; it was a slow, sensual progress of him sliding into her tight, wet passage, slowing entering until he was buried completely in her. Both of them moaned softly at this feeling they missed so much.

This was what she loved and lost, and for moments, all they could do was stay motionless and revel in the closeness of each other. His breathing was growing slightly labored as he fought to stay still and let her give him the signal to go ahead, while she shut her eyes to enjoy the feeling of him deep inside her.

The void in her…it was gone. Filled by none other than her ex-husband.

She moved, and he took that as her signal. Leaning down, he let out a guttural growl, claiming her lips once more as he pulled out of her till only the tip was inside, before slowly thrusting back all the way to the hilt.

As Sesshoumaru moved, Kagome strained to keep her eyes opened, watching his facial expressions of pleasure on his handsome face. She whimpered while he drove his shaft all the way in, this time with more speed and force, raising her right hand to her mouth to cover it as she moaned louder. His thrusts increased in force and speed, before he pulled out completely to prop her knees on his shoulder for better leverage and penetration. Looking into her eyes, he removed her hand from her mouth.

Kagome let out a small cry as he hit a particularly sweet spot, while Sesshoumaru took it as his cue to go on, determined to make the woman beneath him feel as much love as she could possibly take. The fiery passion was consuming her, leaving her totally at his mercy. A few more thrusts were all it took to drive her closer to the peak. Kagome bucked helplessly as she neared her peak, and with the mounting sensations, she sobbed with the need for completion.

With one final thrust, Kagome felt her climax sweep her away like a raging tidal wave, while she cried his name into the air. Through the mind-blowing sensations, she could feel him thrust twice more, before he too, came with her name on his lips.

_

* * *

To be continued…_

A/N: How was that? MissTeak is dying from embarrassment here. Please review to reward my efforts in writing for you guys and also if you want me to update faster!


	14. A second chance

Standard disclaimers apply.

A/N: Thank you for all your reviews! Alright, I do agree that the presence of condoms in Kagome's drawer was something I overlooked…since yes, she is not having an active sex life then. But anyway, I read in female magazines such as CLEO, Elle, etc, that it is actually advisable to use sex toys with condoms, especially if one does not wash/sterilize it dutifully every time after use. Of course, that's a so-not-important part of our story, so I shall return to the greater agenda.

Speaking of which, I am very grateful for your comments and praises for my first ever really graphic lemon. I've never written such a long lemon (and so detailed too), and was sporting a red face as I wrote. LOL.

Once again, thanks! And if you like the idea of Sess/Kag (which is basically why you're reading this story), I think you will find this chapter pleasantly surprising and sweet.

**Title: Love after Loss**

**Chapter 14: A second chance**

* * *

Kagome awoke to the feeling of being deliciously filled, her senses assaulted by a very masculine scent by her side. Across her waist, a strong arm was wrapped, holding her closer to a firm, warm body. Squinting in the morning light, her eyes cracked open to take in her surroundings, and they widened a fraction when she saw slightly amused gold eyes looking back at her.

Like a knife, it sliced through her sleep-laden mind and thoughts. The happenings of the previous night flashed across her mind, before she involuntarily blushed slightly, smiling up at the man by her side.

"Good morning, Sesshoumaru."

"Good morning." He replied in his deep baritone voice, and in their proximity, Kagome could clearly feel the vibrations beneath his skin as he spoke to her. It was sexy to say the least, and between her legs, she could still feel him buried within her.

She gave him a small smile, before looking back into his eyes, her expression serious.

He only gave her a questioning look in reply, before cupping her cheek, tracing circles on her skin absentmindedly with his thumb.

"Sess...thank you for last night."

He shook his head. "You are wonderful, Kagome." He whispered, placing a chaste kiss on her forehead.

She waited for him to pull away before giving him a wistful smile. "You speak as if it was our first time together."

He was silent for awhile, and it even became slightly unsettling for Kagome when he simply looked deep into her eyes for awhile. Not to mention they were still joined intimately at the hips.

"It will be our first time," He replied softly, before continuing. "If we can start afresh, Kagome."

That got her looking up at him with surprise, her mouth pursed into a thin line. Underneath the surprise, Sesshoumaru could not help but notice doubt. It was evident, she was not anticipating that response from him.

He waited patiently for her reply, but all she gave him was a sad, lingering smile which even he could not fathom despite knowing her so well. At that moment, what she was indicating was totally beyond him.

"I think we should get up now," She started, shifting slightly in her position. Her eyes closed slightly as she felt the stirrings of pleasure in her depths as she moved. "Rin's most probably awake by now, and we might get to see her."

"Yeah...alright." He nodded. He rolled over so she was lying fully on her back, before pulling out slowly from her.

Kagome willed her eyes to focus on the ceiling, biting her lower lip. Everything happened so fast last night, and she was surprised at how things turned out between them. Earlier on, he mentioned starting afresh with her...and once again, Taisho Sesshoumaru had thrown her life into a mess and a state of confusion.

It was then when she heard his voice.

"Shit."

Kagome instantly turned her attention to her ex-husband, whose face held an unreadable expression. For the very first time, she saw uncertainty marring the handsome face.

"What is it, Sess?" She inquired, trying to prop herself up on her elbows.

"The condom."

She felt a chill run down her spine in that moment, and she hurriedly sat up to confirm her fears.

The condom was broken.

* * *

Kagome sat at the table, absentmindedly drying her long hair with her towel as Sesshoumaru busied himself in the kitchen.

Her heart was filled with two very contrasting emotions as she massaged her scalp through the soft material of the towel.

It was worry up against relief.

Worried, for she might get pregnant, and in her confused state of mind, Kagome definitely was not so sure how things would turn out following the birth of the child. It was a dilemma, really, when right at that very moment, her second child with Sesshoumaru might be getting conceived in her womb.

On the other hand, she felt relieved. Somehow, the gods above have helped her come to a decision should she get pregnant from their union the previous night. She was at a loss of what to do to help Rin, and for now, she no longer has to worry about it.

After all, she did not conceive deliberately to save Rin. That is, if she got pregnant.

Kagome was still thinking to herself when Sesshoumaru placed a bowl of pumpkin porridge in front of her.

"Here, eat something. I cooked this yesterday, but we didn't get to eat it then." He spoke up, breaking her thoughts.

"Thank you." She smiled with a nod, before picking her spoon up and took a tentative mouthful. He was indeed a good cook, just like she remembered him to be.

It only served to remind her of how he used to prepare breakfast for her every day before she agreed to be his girlfriend. Back then, she asked him where he acquired his culinary skills from, and he simply accounted it to his college days when he stayed alone in an apartment.

"How is it?"

"Very good. I still don't know how you can manage to make simple pumpkin porridge taste so nice." She commented, watching satisfaction take its place in his eyes.

"I haven't cooked in ages."

"I must be lucky then."

He shrugged with a small smile before taking his place across the table and started out on his breakfast too.

They ate in silence for a while, with the only sounds interrupting the silence being that of their spoon hitting the bowl, before Sesshoumaru spoke up.

"Kagome."

"Hmm?" She replied without looking up from her bowl.

"What about us?" He spoke, placing his spoon by the side while regarding her seriously. "Where does this place our relationship?"

Her grip on the spoon tightened when he breached the exact topic she was trying to evade.

"I…I don't really know."

"Was last night nothing more than sex to you?" He asked, and her eyes darted upwards to look at his. He was dead serious, but deep beneath those beautiful eyes of his, lurked worry. Between his brows, ever so slightly, was a little crease.

She would be lying if she said it was nothing more. Kagome took a deep breath, before answering, "No. It was more than simply sex."

"So…does it mean I get a second chance?"

"A second chance at?" She almost whispered her answer; her voice was so shaky and soft from her nervousness. He was always so direct, and this was taking a heavy toll on her heart and nerves.

She knew for Sesshoumaru to voice all these out, was harder than for her to scale Mount Everest. But he was doing it, swallowing his pride and talking about a second chance. Japanese men do not do that, it was simply not in their culture to speak to the wife as if she was superior to them.

He had changed. Sesshoumaru three years back would never ever have done this, much less even show worry on his face.

"A second chance at being with you."

"Eh?" Kagome saw that coming, but she feigned ignorance.

"You heard me, Kagome."

She inwardly sighed, before looking down at the table in front of her. Somehow, the designs on the wood seemed oddly fascinating in that awkward moment.

Seconds ticked by as the tension mounted up to almost suffocating levels. Deep down in her heart, Kagome knew it was futile to go on pretending; it was simply a matter of time before she had to face the issue.

"I…I…" She stammered, running a hand through her semi-dry hair. "I don't want to get hurt again, Sesshoumaru."

It was his turn to sigh inwardly as memories of their heated arguments and silent wars came rushing back like a flood to him. She was not always right for all the times they fought, but neither could he deny that he did not hurt her.

Sesshoumaru knew he did not treat her well when he had her by his side, hurting her with his possessiveness, jealousy, scathing words, authority and his power over her at the workforce. He expected Kagome to be a traditional Japanese wife like his own mother was, despite knowing full well they were too highly contrasting individuals. He had set expectations for her despite knowing that was something he could not expect from her.

His temper and jealousy also got better of him at what he knew was the final blow to their marriage – the incident involving Kouga. Now that the anger was long gone, he felt stupid. As a husband, a CEO, a business partner, he should not have done what he did. And he had to accuse her of infidelity in his anger.

After all he had done, it was understandable that she held reservations towards starting over anew with him again. It has pushed her to the point where she grew to fear.

He would persevere though, until he got her back. Sesshoumaru did not care how long it would take, or how much effort.

He would do anything to have her back again. He lost her once; he would not do it again.

All he wanted was to get her back.

"Kagome." He said, while she looked back at him with uncertainty in her eyes. "I really hope you can give me a chance."

She inhaled, before asking in a small voice. "Are you saying that because of the broken condom? Is it what you deem necessary to do, to take responsibility should I conceive?"

"No." Sesshoumaru instantly replied, pinning her with his intense gaze. Kagome's eyes narrowed slightly and her mouth set itself in a small frown. "Don't you ever think that way."

"Then what, Sesshoumaru?" She asked, looking at him with a mildly hurt expression.

"It is simple. I loved and lost you Kagome. All I am asking for is a chance to love you again."

She gasped soundlessly, feeling all the wind escape her as the reality behind his words sank into her mind.

"I will not hurt you again, Kagome." He continued, while keeping his eyes on her the entire time. "Give me a chance. For me, for Rin. I have never stopped loving you, Kagome."

"But-" She started weakly.

"I knew I did and said things to hurt you in the past," He did not let her go on. "I…I am sorry."

That got her eyes widened in shock. Sesshoumaru hardly apologized to others. Now, there he was, sitting in front of her and apologizing. Asking for a second chance.

It broke her heart to see him, usually so cool and handsome, sitting there with a forlorn look lingering on his face. Sure, he was collected and calm, but his eyes and his words gave him away.

She knew very clearly, she still loved him.

However, she was not so sure if things would work out even if they got together again.

But why choose to torture herself? Why must she suffer agony when she could have a second shot at happiness? Furthermore, since they have Rin, the entire marriage no longer revolved only around the two of them.

With these thoughts giving her determination, Kagome nodded.

Sesshoumaru's eyes widened by a fraction.

"I will give you a chance." She said, willing her voice not to quiver. "But I hope you can understand that this does not mean I promise to marry you again. I'm simply giving our relationship a chance to work."

He nodded seriously, looking deep into her eyes. Kagome closed her eyes, before standing up in her seat. Bowing politely, she introduced herself.

"Hajimemashite. Higurashi Kagome desu. Yoroshiku onegaishimasu."

_(Nice to meet you. I am Higurashi Kagome.)_

"Taisho Sesshoumaru desu. Kochira koso yoroshiku onegaishimasu."

_(I am Taisho Sesshoumaru. It is nice to meet you too.)_

_

* * *

To be continued…_

A/N: Are you guys bubbling away with joy inside? LOL. I definitely am!

Anyway, just to answer some readers who asked me this. I can speak Japanese fluently, and I can do translations for songs, business documents, essays, poems…etc. I've been learning for the past 7, 8 years since I was 13. (I am turning 20 this year) My native languages are English and Chinese. I have already started on a year of French, but it's killing my poor brain. LOL.

Anyway, next chapter would involve Sesshoumaru's mom! Rin also gets well enough to be moved out of isolation.


	15. Mommy Dearest

Standard disclaimers apply.

A/N: Hi everyone! Hope everything is going well for you guys! I just got my exam papers back yesterday, and I aced both papers! LOL. So MissTeak is in an amazing mood now. Anyway just to answer some questions, I am a Singaporean Chinese girl living in Singapore, studying at the National University of Singapore (NUS). I learned Japanese from a language center since I was 13, and takes further Japanese classes in university. It's tough, but it's great fun too.

Anyway, on with the story! In the last chapter you saw Kagome giving Sesshoumaru a second chance. Now, you see the reaction of others to this little bit of good news.

**Title: Love after Loss**

**Chapter 15: Mommy Dearest**

* * *

Kagome sat alone outside Rin's isolation ward, taking slow sips of her tea.

Rin was to be transferred to a regular ward that afternoon, for her immune system has strengthen enough to be able get out of isolation. The little girl had been ecstatic about the transfer, and so were Kagome and Sesshoumaru.

Speaking of Sesshoumaru, Kagome could not help the little smile that crept up her face. Recalling his sincerity, she was truly glad she agreed to give him a second chance at proving his love for her. It was simple, really. She loved him, and she had had enough of loneliness.

It's been too long; she needs someone by her side.

Things were finally looking up for her, in every aspect. She inhaled deeply, while smiling to herself the entire time. Even the antiseptic in the hospital smelled nice.

Reaching into her handbag, Kagome retrieved her cell phone, flipping it over to dial her mother's home number. Keying in the numbers quickly, Kagome pressed the button for 'dial'.

"Calling…calling…" The screen indicated, and she placed the phone to her ear.

It only took two rings before a familiar voice came over the line.

"Moshi moshi? Higurashi desu." _(Hello, this is the Higurashi residence.)_

"Okaasan?" _(Mother?)_

"Kagome! Why are you calling now? Is it that you need my help at the hospital?"

Kagome shook her head, despite knowing her mother would not be able to see her.

"No. Rin's fine too, and she will be transferring to the regular ward in the late afternoon."

"That's great!" Came her mother's joyous voice over the phone. "You got me worried there for a moment."

Kagome smiled, a little sadness tingeing her head from how touching she found the scene to be. Her mother was getting on in years, and instead of letting her enjoy her old age, Kagome had to ask her for help with taking care of Rin while she was juggling her jobs.

"Okaasan."

"Hmm?"

"Itsumo arigatou. Mendou bakari kakete, shinpai bakari kakete gomenasai. Musume to shite wa, hontou ni shippai shite shimatta."

_(Thank you for always. I am sorry for bringing you nothing but trouble and worry. As a daughter, I really have failed.)_

"Nani itteru no, Kagome? Anata wa watashi no daiji na ko dayo! Isshouni tsurai toki wo norikoeru koto wa atarimae deshou?"

_(What are you talking about, Kagome? You are my precious child! It is only right that we endure through the tough times together, isn't it?)_

Kagome could feel a prickling of tears behind her eyes, except that this time round, those tears were of nothing but joy and love she felt.

"Hm." She could only agree like that, when words were already failing her. From the other side, she could hear her mother's voice choke up slightly with tears, before she hurriedly spoke in a joyous manner.

"I have an idea, Kagome! Why not you ask the doctor if it is possible for Rin to come out for one day, then the two of you can come over to our place for dinner?"

"That's a great idea! I am sure Rin will be overjoyed if she can go." Kagome smiled, dabbing at the traces of tears in her eyes. "What will you be cooking?"

"Hmm…let me see…perhaps your favorite oden? Or Rin's favorite omu-rice?"

"Sounds great to me. But Okaasan, no one eats oden unless it is in winter."

"It's alright! It can be our unique Higurashi tradition!"

Both mother and daughter burst into laughter at that, feeling more relaxed and happy than they have felt in ages. As the laughter gradually faded into the air, Kagome cleared her throat. She did not know how her mother would react, but she would try.

"Can I ask someone else along?"

"Why not? It will just be another bowl of rice and set of chopsticks! The more the merrier, don't you agree? Is it Sango-chan?" Her mother was always hospitable, enjoying nothing more than having guests over at their place to taste her culinary skills.

"No, Okaasan." Kagome replied, awaiting her mother's reply to the name she was about to reveal. "It…It's Sesshoumaru."

"Eh? Sesshoumaru? But-"

"I know I once said I never wanted to see him again, Okaasan. But these two weeks, ever since I told him about Rin's condition, he has been very supportive and caring in every way possible."

Silence on her mother's part led Kagome to saying more.

"Yesterday, I fainted in the hospital. He took me home and stayed there to take care of me…and…and one thing led to another…we spent the night together." Kagome was truthful, without withholding anything from her mother. "He asked me for a second chance to start afresh. And I agreed."

Her mother remained silent, and for a while, Kagome felt anxiety rise like a wisp of smoke in her heart. Was her mother disapproving of their relationship again?

"Wakatta. Zehi sasotte kudasai."

_(I got it. Please invite him.)_

Her tone was gentle, and full of kindness. Through the smoky screen of doubt and anxiety, came a glimmer of joy.

Kagome smiled.

"Arigatou, Okaasan."

_(Thank you, Mom)_

* * *

Sesshoumaru couldn't help but smile to himself as he watched the numbers rising on the overhead screen in the elevator. He had been in a brilliant mood ever since Kagome agreed to give their relationship another shot that morning.

Honestly, he was acting like a love struck high school student who finally got the attention of the hottest girl in school, but he could not care less. He got his second chance, and he would not be so stupid as to waste his opportunity.

He promised himself; he would treasure her till the day he dies.

"Why are you smiling to yourself?" Came a cool, elegant voice from beside him. That voice brought the overjoyed Sesshoumaru back onto earth, into the little elevator mixed with the smells of antiseptic and Burberry London.

"I was not smiling." He hurriedly buried the small smile underneath his usual stoic mask. He would never hear the end of it if he admitted he was smiling.

"I thought I saw." The voice replied, sounding slightly indignant in its haughty, princessy manner. Clicking sounds were heard next; it was evident that the owner of the voice was playing with her long nails.

"You must have seen wrongly."

"Can't you just admit it?"

"Why should I admit something untrue?"

"You will be the death of me, Sesshoumaru." Despite the words, the voice held hardly any exasperation. It sounded more teasing, except that it was coolly detached at the same time.

"You should have grown accustomed to it by now, Mother." He replied, throwing a half-amused glance at the older woman by his side. He truly resembled her in more ways than to his father. His father was more of easy going person, whose serious side only emerged during work, but his mother…well, she was a female version of Sesshoumaru himself.

And that was not a good thing.

His mother was a very beautiful woman, and age did nothing to mar that. Her beauty, elegance, poise and the aloof classiness she carried herself with made her the perfect wife for any man of a high status, but sadly, that also made her emotionally detached from her so-called loved ones. In Sesshoumaru's childhood memories, he could recall more times seeing her fawning over her Louis Vuitton and Prada bags than over his father and him.

Kasumi was from a renowned family of high social status as well, and it was probably due to her upbringing that led her to being what she was today – smart, beautiful, emotionally independent and mentally strong. Sesshoumaru was not very close to her, but he held utmost respect for this woman in his heart. Even when she was getting divorced from his father, she had not shed a single tear in front of her son. He knew she was sad then, for he had heard her crying in her room.

"I'd prefer if you called me Kasumi." She ignored his rebuttal earlier on. Turning her mouth up slightly, she said, "It makes me sound so old when you say 'Mother'."

"Why? Are you not my mother?"

She ignored his question and the sarcasm underlying it, before pulling out her compact mirror and a tube of Christian Dior lip gloss.

"When are you marrying Kagome again?" She asked as she peered at herself in the mirror.

That gave Sesshoumaru a shock. Trust his mother to come out with something so completely random, yet totally hitting the nail on the head.

"What are you talking about?" He quickly overcame his initial surprise. If Kasumi knew about it, she would ask very embarrassing questions in front of Kagome in her cool, aloof manner, while her inner voyeur jumped in excitement at finding more about Sesshoumaru's matters.

"That smile of yours has given you away, Sesshoumaru." She pointed out in _his_ very matter-of-factly way. If Sesshoumaru resembled her in any way, it would be the dead pan, no-nonsense manner in which she spoke in sometimes.

Evidently, his denial to her earlier truthful claims of him smiling did not work at all.

"Not anytime soon."

"There! I knew it!" Kasumi smiled to herself haughtily, clapping her neatly manicured hands together. "I always thought Kagome was a nice girl."

"She is." The elevator came to a halt.

"Too nice for you." She added, stepping out of the elevator when the doors opened. "You must have done enough good deeds in your past life to have a girl like her, Sesshoumaru."

"You must have done enough to marry Father."

Click, click, went the heel against the linoleum, before it came to a complete stop.

Kasumi turned on her Chanel kitten heels, before narrowing her eyes at him. She did not say anything, but all Sesshoumaru did was to regard her coolly.

She stuck her tongue out at him before turning back and walking down the corridor to where Kagome was sitting alone.

"Childish." Sesshoumaru muttered, an amused smile lingering on his face. Much as she was infuriating, his mother can be really cute sometimes.

The smile widened, when somewhere down the corridor, he heard her voice again.

"Kagome! Bonjour, ma cherie!"

_

* * *

To be continued…_

A/N: That was a more lighthearted chapter for this story! Hope you guys enjoyed it nonetheless! I personally enjoyed the exchange between Sesshoumaru and his mom.

Please review!


	16. His warmth

Standard disclaimers apply.

A/N: Thank you for all your reviews! I am glad you guys liked the last chapter; I personally found Sesshoumaru's mother really cool when I read the manga (book 48). After putting everyone through the emotional roller coaster, here's a bit more fun for all to enjoy at Fluffy's expense!

Please enjoy and review to keep me writing!

**Title: Love after Loss**

**Chapter 16: His warmth**

* * *

"Kagome! Bonjour, ma Cherie!"

Turning, Kagome's widened eyes indicated her having no idea at all as to what Kasumi was saying. For a moment, she looked up at the older woman in surprise, before a big, joyous smile took its place on her face.

"Okaasan, ogenki desu ka?" Kagome hurriedly stood up, bowing to her ex mother-in-law.

_(How are you, Mother?)_

"Ça va!" Came the reply, before a surprised Kagome found Kasumi greeting her with kisses on both cheeks. The elegant scent of Burberry London assaulted Kagome's senses in the close proximity, while she tried not to shrink back in surprise.

"Eh?"

"She's forgetting her Japanese roots, as you can see." Sesshoumaru spoke up from behind his mother, giving Kagome a helpless shrug. "She's totally evolved."

"I am not evolving in any way, Kagome. Don't listen to that crazy boy." Kasumi smiled, taking hold of Kagome's hand in her own manicured ones as she brushed off her son's comment. "That's how they greet each other in France! Anyway, how have you been? You've lost so much weight…"

"I'm fine, Okaasan." Kagome managed an awkward smile. "I guess I haven't been eating well…"

"Sesshoumaru. Haven't you been feeding Kagome properly?" Kasumi turned her cool gaze onto her son, on whose face a mild indignant look flashed by.

Sesshoumaru's eyebrows rose, before Kagome quickly cast him an apologetic look.

"Umm…Okaasan, it has nothing to do with Sesshoumaru. It's really my own fau-"

"Of course, with poor little Rin being so ill, I doubt your appetite would be good. I hope she's better?" Kasumi shifted her attention completely from Sesshoumaru, and it became too obvious to him that she was deliberately teasing him in Kagome's presence.

"Yes, she is. In fact, she'll be transferring to a regular ward later on." Kagome smiled, answering the question dutifully.

"Oh, that's good to hear. I brought many gifts for my little Rin from France! I got this absolutely adorable LV pouch for her to use as a pencil case in school…you know, the monogram series…I wonder if she'll like it?"

"I...I am sure she will." Kagome did not know how to point out to her ex mother-in-law little girls at five years of age would prefer Disney Princesses pouches to Louis Vuitton ones.

Kasumi smiled and nodded in satisfaction, before taking a seat by Kagome's side.

"Anyway, Kagome, when will the wedding be?" She asked smoothly in her cool, elegant voice, but her eyes were shining with mischief, which Kagome seemed not to notice.

"Who's getting married, Okaasan?" Kagome asked in genuine surprise, before Sesshoumaru mentally kicked himself.

"Why, you and my lovely son, of course!" Kasumi smiled, waving her hand in Sesshoumaru's direction absentmindedly. "And Kagome, call me Kasumi! Okaasan sounds…ancient." She added with a grimace.

"Okaasan. That's enough of you and your questions." Sesshoumaru said through gritted teeth from where he was standing. Now Kagome would think he went on to tell his mother all about them getting back together when she already made it so clear that she was not promising to marry him.

"What did I just say about referring to me as Okaasan?" The older woman looked back at her son with an aloof expression, her perfectly painted lips pursed in a line.

"We are Japanese. Daughter-in-laws and sons do not refer to their Okaasan by their names." Sesshoumaru pointed out, a bored look fixed on his face.

The tension was mounting between the mother and son, and Kagome decided she had better said something before Kasumi and Sesshoumaru begin their stoic banters with each other.

"And Okaasan…I think you're mistaken. There's not going to be a wed-" Kagome started, watching a small frown cross Kasumi's sharp, pixie-like features.

"Didn't he just refer to you as 'daughter-in-law'?"

Sesshoumaru let out an inaudible sigh, before asking in a voice laced with sarcasm. "Even if so, why would you want to know when the wedding is, my honorable mother?"

"That's quite obvious, isn't it? I have to make plans to return to Japan to attend the wedding." Her coolness could easily rival that of Sesshoumaru's at any time, having the ability to make him sound almost stupid.

"Do you remember the previous time you attended our wedding, by any chance?" Sesshoumaru replied, while Kagome couldn't help the exasperated smile which spread across her face. It was hilarious to say the least.

Kasumi picked up a lock of her silvery hair and inspected the ends for signs of imaginary splits. "I was trying to forget that incident, but now that you mentioned it-"

"You were the one who made the brilliant choice to bring your French boyfriend with you."

She released lock of hair she was absentmindedly playing with. "Pierre was such a nice person! And you just had to land a punch on his nose, and almost detached his arm. If it wasn't for you, Sesshoumaru, I am sure I'd still be dating him. He sure is cuter than the guy I am seeing now."

"He was the one who flew over to my wife as long as he saw her, grabbed her, kissed her on both cheeks, on the hand and then hugged her so tightly." Sesshoumaru pointed out, while Kagome tried to hide her impending laughter behind her hand. "I recall that was MY wedding."

"He was being polite." Kasumi responded in a how-can-you-not-know-that manner.

"I should be the one kissing the bride."

Kasumi turned her attentions to her nails, playing with the crystal bits tastefully arranged on the background of dark red. "Why do I get the feeling that you think Pierre is some pervert lusting for your wife?"

Sesshoumaru gave his mother his trademark stoic look, before speaking. "Of course. Wasn't he, Kagome?"

"I…umm…"

"Tell him, Kagome. Tell him Pierre was being polite." Kasumi placed her hand over Kagome's, while looking up at her son with a cool, almost blank face.

"I…I…"

Kagome did not know which side to take. Taking either side would mean consequences with the other.

She gulped, and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. She could feel their burning gazes fixed on her, awaiting her answer…

"I…I think…"

The door to Rin's ward opened, and the little girl stood in the doorway with the nurses, beaming at her family members. Inwardly, Kagome could only heave a loud sigh of relief. Rin's arrival into the picture was timely.

"Mommy, Daddy, Grandma!"

Sesshoumaru and Kagome broke into smiles when they saw their daughter running to them, whereas Kasumi wore a mock reproaching look when she heard the word "Grandma".

Watching Rin run straight into Sesshoumaru's open arms, Kagome felt warmth spread like a little fire in the depths of her heart. With each beat of her heart, the warmth engulfed her being. After so long, the family seemed almost complete.

If only Rin wasn't so sick with leukemia. The pneumonia attack left her off the chemotherapy treatment for a period of time, and even though she did not seem to be suffering the chemo effects for now, the cancer cells were multiplying in her.

What a scary disease; it struck an indescribable amount of fear in Kagome's heart just by thinking about it. The uncontrolled mitosis of cells was all it took to take a healthy life away, snuffing out the flame of life itself.

_Please get well, my child._

When Sesshoumaru placed Rin back on the ground, the little girl ran over to her mother, snuggling into Kagome's embrace. Kagome cupped Rin's cheeks and placed a kiss on her forehead, before taking Rin's small, thin hand in her own.

"Where is Grandma? The other one." Rin added, as if Kagome had no idea.

"She's at home." Kagome replied, rubbing warmth into her daughter's fragile hands. "Grandma invited us for dinner! She'll be making your favorite omu-rice for you!"

"Yay! Rin loves omu-rice. Can Grandma write Rin's name on the egg?" She asked in excitement. "And can Rin borrow Uncle Souta's CDs? Rin wants to hear Ayu-chan's songs!"

"Hai, Hai." Kagome smiled. Rin was indeed in great spirits.

_(Yes, yes)_

Rin grinned in return, before tugging on Kagome's hand again. "Then what about Daddy?"

From where she was, Kagome could clearly see surprise, followed by a look of uncertainty cross Sesshoumaru's features.

"Of course Daddy is going! Grandma already promised me she'd make his favorite Sukiyaki." Kagome said to an obviously delighted Rin, before turning to her ex-husband with a smile. "Daddy will come along, right?"

Through their eye contact, Kagome could feel Sesshoumaru's gratitude before they exchanged a knowing smile.

"Definitely. We will go beat Uncle Souta on his playstation set, alright?"

"Yes!" Rin giggled, animatedly drawing big circles in the air with her arms. "Rin always get so many points when she plays! Uncle Souta always loses to Rin!"

That elicited smiles from the parents. Souta was a very doting uncle to his only niece, deliberately giving in to her in every single game they played together.

"Mr. Taisho, Miss Higurashi, We are ready to move to the normal ward. Is there anything else you need?" The nurse asked, holding all the files holding Rin's documents and medication schedules.

Kagome shook her head before bowing in gratitude for the nurses' keen care for Rin, while Sesshoumaru bowed slightly as well.

The nurses bowed in return, before everyone walked towards the lift.

Kagome made a move to hold Rin's hand as they walked along, only to have Rin say, "I want Grandma to hold my hand."

"Very well." Kagome smiled, patting Rin on the head. Her scalp was visible under whatever little hair was left of her thick, shiny black tresses. "Don't walk too quickly, alright?"

Rin nodded obediently as she stopped in her footsteps to loop her little hand into Kasumi's, while Kagome walked ahead.

With every step she took, she could not help the worry that grew in her. The cold she felt in the corridor did nothing but intensified the fear lurking beneath.

What if Rin caught another major infection like the one she just survived?

Rin appeared to be alright now, but what if this was all but a façade?

What if the cancer cells spread too rapidly before a miracle could descend?

It felt like a ticking time bomb which they could not detonate.

The little footsteps padding along with the clicking of the flashy Chanel heels sounded excited and energetic, but how long would it be before the evil arms of cancer once again reached out for Rin again?

Kagome knew she was growing paranoid. But she could not help it.

It did not help at all that the air-conditioning was making her fingertips cold and her heart, even colder.

It was then when she felt it.

A warm, large hand enveloping her cold, smaller one in it.

Her eyes widened slightly as the contact sent tingles from her hand to her heart, before she turned to look into the knowing eyes of molten gold.

"Sesshoumaru…"

"Don't worry." He whispered softly, audible only to her.

She nodded obediently, and with a determined nod, worked her fingers around so that they were intertwined with his. His grip only tightened, and it felt so warm and secure, like he'd never ever let go of her.

They were intertwined in this crisis together. They would get past it together.

As the couple walked ahead, they did not notice the muffled giggles and the hi-five exchanged between the owners of the little footsteps and the Chanel kitten heels.

_

* * *

To be continued…_

A/N: Alright, another chapter of family warmth. Hope you guys got entertained! LOL. Next chapter will see Sess, Kagome and Rin at Kagome's mother's place. You will also know why Sesshoumaru was so surprised when he heard he was invited, and why Kagome feared (in chapter 15) that her mother would not be approving.

Anyway, more on Japanese food. Omu-rice is a Japanese word combined from English for "omelette" and "rice", and tomato-sauce flavored fried rice is wrapped up in a thin layer of egg. In order to make it more appetizing for little children, their names are usually written on the egg in ketchup in hiragana (One of the 3 forms of Japanese writing).

Sukiyaki is a dish made up of grilled meat and vegetables on a hot plate. The food is dipped into raw egg before eating, and it tastes fantastic. I ate it on three occasions when I stayed in Japan for a month earlier on.

And 'Ayu-chan' refers to Hamasaki Ayumi, the very famous Japanese pop singer. That's how her young fans refer to her in Japan.

Please review!


	17. Who

Standard disclaimers apply.

A/N: Thanks to all who reviewed! Here's chapter 17 for you to enjoy, and I hope you guys will like it! Once again, fluff awaits. But of course, good things don't usually last for too long. I will not elaborate further!

Read the lyrics if you want to know what is going on! Kagome uses a unique method of letting Sesshoumaru know her feelings.

Please review if you enjoyed this!

**Title: Love after Loss**

**Chapter 17: Who**

* * *

"Can Rin watch Ayu-chan's new concert DVD later? Please?"

Kagome turned slightly to regard the little head which poked into in between the driver and passenger seat.

"I don't know, you'd have to ask Uncle Souta for permission if you want to watch his DVDs." She replied, reaching up to straighten the Hello Kitty hat Rin was wearing. "And Rin, you can only watch after dinner."

"Alright! Rin will ask Uncle Souta nicely." The little girl grinned with determination, before leaning back onto her seat.

"And you must say?"

"Please." Rin replied dutifully.

"Good girl."

"You taught her well." Sesshoumaru spoke up from beside Kagome, keeping his eyes on the road as the shrine at which Kagome grew up in came into view.

"I try." Kagome smiled back, and it was not long before they pulled to a stop in front of the shrine.

"Kagome, you go in with Rin first. I will park the car behind."

"Alright. See you in a while." Kagome exited the car with an excited Rin in tow, before walking up the flight of steps to enter her home. From outside, the delicious smells of dinner were making Kagome hungrier than ever.

"Ojamashimasu!" They cried out in a chorus. (We are disturbing!)

"Konbanwa! Nee-chan, Rin-chan, douzo agatte!" Souta hurriedly answered the door at the genkan.

(Good evening! Please enter, big sister, Rin!)

Removing their shoes, they stepped into the house, taking in the familiar sight and the smells lingering in the air. The delicious aroma of home cooked food permeated the entire living room, and from where she was, Kagome could see her mother busy at work in the kitchen, hunched over a pot of what seems to be oden. Taking Rin's Hello Kitty bag from her, Kagome placed their bags neatly on top of a chest of drawers.

"Grandma!" Rin greeted, running over to the kitchen to give Kagome's mother, Yuko, a hug.

"Rin-chan! My friend just gave me Ayumi's karaoke dvd...do you want to see it?" Souta smiled at how eagerly Rin nodded, her brown eyes wide with excitement and joy.

"Yes, yes! Rin wants to see it!" She jumped, holding Souta's much larger hand and pulling him in the direction of the stairs. "Please!"

"Alright, alright. Do you want to sing later?" He asked in amusement as he allowed her to drag him along.

"Yes! Rin wants to sing!"

"Rin! Don't mess up Uncle Souta's room!" Kagome called after them as the duo disappeared into the second level. Smiling in amusement at the way Souta got along with his little niece, Kagome walked over to the kitchen.

"Okaasan?"

"Kagome!" Yuko smiled at her daughter, before gesturing at all the food in the kitchen. "Look at how much food I prepared! Please make sure you eat as much as you can later on."

"Sure! I'd love to." Kagome replied, washing her hands at the sink to help her mother with dinner preparation.

Yuko looked over Kagome's shoulder, confusion on her face before she asked. "Where's..."

"He's parking the car."

Seeing her mother nod without any particular expression on her face, Kagome felt an uneasy feeling build up in her heart.

What if her mother opposed to her seeing Sesshoumaru now? She had been against their dating six years ago...what if she still held the same views?

Kagome's thoughts involuntarily went back in time. Her mother had initially been objecting to them seeing each other, for Kagome had been brought up in a lower middle-class family, where they had to struggle every now and then to make ends meet. The only reasons behind Kagome getting to know influential figures such as the Taisho family was simply her job and her education level. Other than that, their family backgrounds were poles apart.

Yuko feared for Kagome's happiness. She was the only daughter she had, and thoughts of her suffering under the pressure of marrying into an influential family were just stifling. This was especially true of an Asian society like Japan, where social compatibility between families still mattered greatly despite advancements in other areas such as economical and technological.

What if Kagome could not match up to the image and expectations the Taisho family had of her?

What if she could not produce a male child to carry on the Taisho family name? This was very serious, especially since she was married to the eldest son.

Furthermore, Sesshoumaru was a man of few words. Kagome was full of zest and lively. They were so contrasting, but of course, that was perhaps what drew them to each other.

However, it was Kagome's choice that ultimately mattered.

Only that the marriage collapsed completely after a mere two years.

Right now, Kagome was no longer so sure if her mother would approve of them seeing each other again, especially when they had already had a divorce previously. It was perfectly understandable if her mother refused to accept Sesshoumaru.

"Okaasan." Kagome spoke up in a quiet voice.

"Hmm?" Yuko indicated she was listening, while carefully flipping the omelette over to wrap the fried rice in completely. The sizzling sounds of egg on the hot metal were the only sounds in the kitchen.

"If…I mean, if you are not very comfortable with Sesshoumaru being here, it's alright…I can eat somewhere else with him. I'll leave Rin here though."

The older woman carefully placed the omu-rice onto Rin's Hello Kitty plate, before turning over to regard Kagome. Her expression was serious, and Kagome could only evade her gaze by looking at the tiles on the kitchen floor.

"Kagome. If you were to leave with my son-in-law, who's going to help me finish up all this food here?"

"Eh?" Kagome looked up in surprise, into the smiling face of her mother.

"Sukiyaki is his favorite dish, isn't it? Why do you think I went to all the trouble to prepare it?"

Kagome was shocked to say the least. Her mother…her mother did not object at all?

"Okaasan…" Kagome smiled in return. "I…I thought…"

"The whole ordeal with Rin's cancer has shown me how he really feels for the family, Kagome. I've misunderstood him in the past. He is a good man."

Smiling, Kagome nodded in agreement.

"Treasure what you have, my child." Yuko said, before retrieving the bottle of ketchup from the shelf. "Don't let him slip through your fingers for a second time."

Kagome nodded a second time, as the doorbell rang.

"I'll go-" She started to make a move towards the door, before her mother placed a hand on her shoulder.

"No, I'll go." Her mother smiled at her. "You go upstairs to get Rin and Souta down for dinner, alright?"

"Hai!" Kagome smiled, as mother and daughter exited the kitchen together.

Walking up the stairs, hearing the familiar hollow sounds of the parquet boards beneath her slippers, Kagome never felt so happy for a long time. From the first level, she could hear Sesshoumaru greeting her mother.

"Konbanwa, Higurashi-san." (Good evening, Mrs. Higurashi)

"Are you sure that's how you should be addressing me?"

Sesshoumaru was silent for a few moments, before he quickly greeted her again.

"Konbanwa, Okaasan." (Good eveing, Mother)

From the top of the stairs, Kagome felt joy bloom in her heart like the azaleas in summer. Everything was going well, and in the face of crisis, she had learnt to appreciate the simplicities of life.

As she neared Souta's room, from which Ayumi was singing, she heard a line from the song.

「始まる前から終わりの心配なんて意味不明…」_(It makes no sense to worry about the end before the beginning)_

Yes. That made sense. She would just follow her heart instead of thinking too much now.

* * *

After a very scrumptious dinner, the entire family was sitting in the living room as Rin sang Hamasaki Ayumi's songs on the karaoke set.

Everyone was clapping along as she sang, albeit somewhat off tune at some areas, and the joy that lingered so heavily was felt by all. She most probably did not understand the lyrics, and her childish voice was a stark contrast to the sad ballad she was singing, but it was cute to watch her sing nonetheless. This was how a family should be like, and Kagome could only thank the gods above for giving her a second chance at happiness.

Sesshoumaru was sitting in the single sofa by the side, whereas Kagome was just sitting beside Rin. From where he was, he could see her beautiful smile. It was so brilliant, so unrestricted.

He decided in that moment, he would protect that smile forever.

「確かな想いは感じるのに

ねぇいつも言葉にならない

誰もがこうして言葉にならない

想いを抱えながら今日も生きている…」

_(Even though I am certain of my feelings_

_I am unable to voice them out_

_And everyone else is unable to voice them out too,_

_while holding on to their feelings and living on…)_

As the ending notes of "No way to say" faded away, Rin bowed like how Ayumi always did at the end of her songs. Everyone applauded tumultuously, while the little girl positively beamed with pride.

"Rin-chan sings so wonderfully!" Yuko exclaimed, as Souta hurriedly agreed.

'_What about you, Kagome? Are you unable to voice your feelings out as well?'_ Sesshoumaru thought, casting another glance at Kagome's profile.

The screen changed, and the beginning piano notes of the song "Who…" came on.

"Sing this song, Mommy!" Rin turned to Kagome, holding the microphone out to her.

Kagome shook her head, slightly embarrassed. "No, no, it's alright. Please go ahead, Rin."

"Oneechan! Just sing this one! It's been ages since I heard you sing karaoke! I am sure everyone here wants to hear you sing! Right?"

Everyone nodded, before erupting into applause as Kagome resignedly took the microphone from Rin with an exasperated smile.

「辛い時誰がそばにいてくれて

誰の肩で涙を流した

喜びは誰と分け合って

誰と手を取り合ってきた

思い出しているよ」

_**(During the harsh times, who was there by my side?**_

_**On whose shoulder did I shed my tears?**_

_**With whom did I share my joy?**_

_**With who did I held hands?**_

_**I remember)**_

Her thoughts went back to the days at the hospital when Rin was so dreadfully ill.

How she cried in his arms when they found out he was not a suitable match.

How they shared the good news of Rin's recovery from pneumonia.

How he held her hand tightly in his when she was worrying for their daughter.

He had been there for her all the while. Kagome cast a glance towards Sesshoumaru, whose eyes were fixed on the lyrics on the screen. She hurriedly drew her gaze away, and got into the first chorus.

「二人離れて過ごした夜は

月が遠くで泣いていたよ

二人離れて過ごした夜は

月が遠くで泣いてた」

_**(On the nights when the two of us were separated,**_

_**Faraway, the moon was crying**_

_**On the nights when the two of us were separated,**_

_**Faraway, the moon was crying)**_

How many sleepless nights she spent in tears, thinking of nothing but the times they shared?

Before she could finish the chorus, Sesshoumaru turned, and their eyes met.

Neither evaded. Looking into his eyes, she waited a few seconds before singing the next verse.

「本当の強さは誰が教えてくれて

優しさは誰が伝えててくれた」

**_(Who was the one who taught me real strength?_**

_**Who was the one who showed me kindness?)**_

She remembered every detail, and through her song, she would express her love and gratitude for him.

Who was the one who taught her real strength? He did.

She recalled how he held her tight and promised he would be with her and Rin in fighting this illness.

How he would care for her when she broke down in the face of pain.

「誰がいたから歩こうとして

誰に髪を撫でて欲しかった

誰が「諦めないで」言ってくれた

忘れないよ　ずっと」

_**(For whose sake do I walk on?**_

_**Whose gentle caresses on my hair do I wish for?**_

_**Who was the one who told me "Never give up"?**_

_**I will not ever forget)**_

If it was not for him, she would never have gotten back on her feet so easily. She didn't know if she could survive.

Remembering the night they spent together after so long, his gentle touches made her want him all over again.

She could hardly count the times he told her not to give up.

Even if she wanted to, she would not be able to forget.

Kagome smiled, and Sesshoumaru returned it.

It was so much more than just a song.

He already knew what she meant, and all he was capable of was looking at her and smiling.

「道に迷った時そして

道が遠すぎた時に

一人呟いていたよ

そんなものだと…」

_**(As I get lost on the path**_

_**Or when the path just seems too long**_

_**I tell myself all those things…)**_

「これからもずっとこの歌声があなたに届きますようにと

これからもずっとこの歌声があなたに届くようにと…

これからもずっとこの歌声があなたに届きますようにと

これからもずっとこの歌声があなたに届くようにと…」

**_(From this moment onwards to forever, I wish this singing voice will reach you_**

_**From this moment onwards to forever, I wish this singing voice will reach you…)**_

Kagome placed the microphone down, feeling a blush creep up her cheeks when everyone in the living applauded.

"That was fantastic! Honestly, sis, I think you sang even better than Ayu here!" Souta exclaimed, while Kagome hurriedly shook her head.

"I am serious! She was singing every word with…so much emotion! Right, everyone?"

Choruses of agreement once again erupted, until Rin's sweet little voice cut through.

"Mochiron dayo! Mama ni wa Papa ga iru kara!" (Of course! Mommy has Daddy!)

"Precisely! You are a very clever girl, Rin!" Souta was quick to follow up, while Sesshoumaru shook his head slightly in amused exasperation and Kagome blushed.

"Sesshoumaru, Kagome, there is nothing to be embarrassed about!" Yuko laughed, before pushing the plate of freshly cut rock melon in their direction. "Here, eat more of this melon. It's really good."

And as if the fruit was a life buoy, Kagome hurriedly took a piece, changing the topic effectively.

"Hmm! It's really, really sweet!" She exclaimed, placing her hand over her mouth as she chewed. "You should try it, Rin!"

"Really? Rin wants a big piece! Grandma, please find one for Rin…"

With the attentions drawn to the plate of cut fruit, Kagome turned to give Sesshoumaru what he thought was the sweetest smile he had ever seen on her face.

That, to Sesshoumaru, was life's beauty at its simplest.

_

* * *

To be continued…_

A/N: Wasn't the song just sweet? If you wish to hear it for yourself, please state so and your email address in your review. I'll send you the song file via email! I just love the tingly romantic feelings of fluff and family love.

I wrote this till two am! LOL. Please tell me you like it.


	18. A Team

Standard disclaimers apply.

A/N: Thank you for all the reviews! bows I apologize for not updating the past 2 days- was caught up with a presentation and a term paper deadline. Thank you for being so supportive, you guys are simply fantastic – Here's chapter 18 for all of you enjoy, and I hope you guys will keep reviewing and supporting this story!

Oh, for those who got the song, I hope you liked it! And those who sent me their email addresses via the messaging system on please **send your email address again using your own email to my email**, since the messaging system does not allow email addresses to be displayed. Thanks for understanding!

**Title: Love after Loss**

**Chapter 18: A Team**

* * *

"Rin, can you keep that CD in your bag? You know you should not be looking at pictures when it is so dark. You don't want to wear glasses, do you?" 

"I want to look for a while more. Just one more minute, please." Came the little voice from the back of the car.

Sesshoumaru looked into the rearview mirror. Rin was still flipping through the pictures in the Ayumi Hamasaki "Secret" CD Souta gave to her.

"Rin. You heard Mommy. Can you please put that away?"

In the darkness, the little girl did not speak for awhile, and Kagome was about to tell her off when she spoke up in a small voice.

"Ayu-chan, kami kirei ne." (Ayu-chan's hair is very nice.)

Kagome's eyes widened as a bout of hurt shot through her heart like a bullet. She had never given it much thought, but now she knew that even at a tender age of five, her daughter was affected by losing her hair from chemotherapy.

"Rin…" She whispered. From beside her, Sesshoumaru's eyes flickered with pain. The oddly-shaped shadows cast from the headlights of the other cars on the road danced across their faces. If only the pain could come and go as easily as the shadows could, but no, it was a pain that grows gradually to the point of being overwhelming.

They just had so much fun at her mother's place, and now, when the veil of happiness evaporated with time, what remains was the true underlying layer of pain and angst.

"Daddy, Mommy, Rin doesn't want to go back to the hospital." She continued in a small quiet tone. "Rin still wants to play with Grandma and Uncle Souta."

Kagome shared a glance with Sesshoumaru, before turning back slightly to regard Rin.

"Rin…listen to Mommy." Kagome started softly. It was so painful to tell her this, to explain to her that she was a bit different from the other little children. It was not an easy job for a parent to do; to see one's child suffering so much unhappiness and yet being able to do nothing at all about it.

It was already bad enough that she adopted the habit of referring herself as a third person instead of using "I", and having brought her to a child psychologist in the past, Kagome was told that was the impact of their divorce on their daughter. She had been so upset over their separation; she did not tell anyone but instead, started to refer herself as Rin where she appeared to be more of an outsider than Rin herself. She was deceiving herself, trying to escape her unhappiness in her childish, innocent little ways.

"Hmm?" Rin replied, still running her little hand over Ayumi's hair on the CD cover.

"Rin, you know you are not feeling very well. Staying at the hospital will make you well again, and then you will be able to come home and stay with everyone."

"No. Rin wants to stay with Uncle Souta and Grandma." The little girl replied stubbornly.

Kagome inwardly sighed; it had been a very long time since Rin threw a tantrum. "But Rin, are you forgetting your other friends there? How about Nakatani sensei, Iena nee-chan, Saori nee-chan and Ai-chan?" (Nee-chan refers to big sisters; referring to the nurses in this context. And Ai-chan is the little girl who appeared in chapter 6.)

Rin was quiet for a moment.

"You don't want to read storybooks and play tea parties with Ai-chan? She will be so lonely without you, you know? The other two sharing the room are little boys…who will she play with now? And who is always giving you fruit gummies after you take the stinky medicine? Who bought a big Disney jigsaw puzzle with her own money for you?"

"It's Iena nee-chan and Saori nee-chan." Rin said in a small, apologetic voice. "I want to play with Ai-chan. Ai-chan is my best friend."

Kagome nodded, and tilted her head slightly to the side, as if prompting.

Rin continued, her voice making her seem smaller than ever. "Rin will go back to the hospital. Rin is sorry, Mommy. Rin is sorry, Daddy. Are you angry with Rin?"

"No. Of course not, darling." Sesshoumaru replied immediately.

From beside him, Kagome shook her head with a sad smile. "How can Mommy ever be angry with you?" Sesshoumaru cast a sideward glance, just in time to see a tear slip down Kagome's cheek. In her slightly quivering voice, she whispered. "Mommy is sorry too, Rin."

* * *

Having sent Rin back to the hospital, Sesshoumaru and Kagome drove in the direction of her apartment at Shitamachi. The atmosphere in the car, despite the soothing jazz music playing softly in the background, was uncomfortable, or more specifically, filled with sadness. 

Earlier on at the children's ward, Rin had cried and screamed when Kagome and Sesshoumaru tried to leave. She was clinging on to Sesshoumaru's leg as tightly as she could, begging for them not to go, while all Kagome could do was kneel by her side and talk to her pacifyingly, only to no avail. Her heart-wrenching sobs, even at this point, were still reverberating clearly in their ears. Those pitiful pleas for her parents not to leave her alone at the hospital were enough to make tears rush back to Kagome like a flood once again.

As the car came to a standstill at the red traffic light, Sesshoumaru gently fingered the tear stains on his pants. Those were his daughter's tears, the evidence of her pain and unhappiness. But there was nothing else they could do. She was only a little girl of merely five years of age. She could not even be allowed to stay in her own home. It was just such a cruel world.

"I shouldn't have asked for permission to bring her out today." Kagome spoke up in a small voice. "If I didn't, she wouldn't have experienced the fun and refused to go back for treatment."

He did not say anything, but instead, reached over to hold her hand, gently cradling it in his to tell her it was not her fault in his own silent manner.

"What if she refuses to cooperate during chemotherapy? It happened the last time when you met her for the first time in a year, and she would not cooperate until I got you to talk to her."

"But she's only five. As compared to others of her age, I feel that Rin is already being very strong." Sesshoumaru replied, before the light turned green.

"Which is why all the more it is painful." Kagome said, closing her eyes to take a deep breath. "I am the adult, and I am dreading to see the chemo treatment. I really should not have brought her out today."

"She will be fine, Kagome. And I think she deserves to have fun every once in awhile."

"You know you only said that to make me feel better..." She replied with a sad, helpless smile, before casting a glance at him. "Who really knows if Rin can get better? Can you promise me that? Can you guarantee that? If things were so simple, I won't be worrying so much! I know she had fun, but do you think what happened at the hospital just now was fun? That was not fun at all!"

His eyes were downcast, before he shook his head.

Kagome did not say anything, and all she did was turn away to look out of the window at the trees they passed by, and her apartment building gradually coming into view. She knew he was upset as well.

They drove in an awkward silence; while the headlights of Sesshoumaru's black Lexus illuminated the otherwise dark neighborhood, save for a few streetlights every now and then. The sounds from outside were quiet, barely audible.

A few more turns, and Kagome saw the place she called home for now. Sesshoumaru pulled to a stop at the gates of her apartment block, before exiting the car on his side to walk other to open the door for her.

She exited the car stiffly, before standing outside the gates to look at him face to face.

"Thank you for sending me back."

"It's nothing. Have a good rest; you have work tomorrow morning."

"You too." She nodded in agreement. "Good night."

"Good night."

As he turned to go, Kagome watched her ex-husband walk further and further away from her. From the back, he appeared to be the usual Sesshoumaru, but she could not forget the hurt that was in his eyes earlier on.

He was only showing his concern and care for her. Why did she have to be so cynical?

It was hard for Sesshoumaru to talk, what more console others? But for her sake, he was doing all these. Yet she had to so cruelly shoot his kindness down.

She realized that nothing he said at that point would have sounded right to her. She was too vexed, too upset by Rin's illness, tantrums, the overwhelming stress and everything else, hence resulting in her hurting and rejecting those closest to her. She did not expect him to have said anything to make her feel better, for they both knew the dangers of Rin's condition. Yet he tried to console her, sharing whatever hope he held in his heart with her to make her feel more positive.

Only that in return for his kindness, he received her scathing words.

He was almost reaching the door of the driver's seat by now.

"Sess!"

He turned around at the sound of his name being called, before feeling someone's hands pull his face down to press a pair of soft, warm lips to his.

Kagome deepened the kiss as Sesshoumaru responded almost immediately, her hands cupping his cheeks while she tried to show him how apologetic she was through her kiss. Their tongues met in a passionate battle, and both reveled in the intense feelings of being so intimate, just like they used to be in the past. The feelings coursing through her veins were so strong; Kagome's heart felt like it was bursting.

They drew apart for air, and through her light pants, Kagome whispered breathily. "I'm sorry, Sess."

He shook his head, before pulling her into his embrace, cradling her like a doll against his chest.

She snuggled closer, leaning her head onto his chest. She was never tall enough to lean into the crook of his neck, and the sense of security he gave her was nothing that could ever be replaced.

Looking up at his profile, she continued. "Forgive me? I don't know why I spoke like that earlier on…I was so sad, so tired…"

"Shhh. I forgive you." He whispered back, placing a finger on her reddened lips to stop her from talking. "Just remember, we are a team, Kagome. Together with Rin. Let's stay united, alright?"

"Hai." Kagome nodded, and it was awhile before they eventually drew apart, with her entering her apartment, and he, speeding off in his black Lexus. _(Yes.)_

_

* * *

To be continued… _

A/N: Sadness and fluffiness in the same chapter! Hope you guys liked it! Through this chapter, I was trying to portray the strength of their newly-built relationship, and the changes in Kagome and Sesshoumaru after the divorce.

Please review!


	19. Same old new feeling

Standard disclaimers apply.

A/N: Here's chapter 19! Once again, our big fat plot thickens in this chapter, and I can only say that it is going to be a big ball of drama before we come to our ending. I guarantee tears, laughter and smiles along the way, and I can only hope you guys continue to stay by my side as we move on with our story. We are almost approaching the 20th chapter!

Please enjoy and review to keep me writing! I thank all the reviewers – you guys are the bunch who are really inspiring me to write more.

**Title: Love after Loss**

**Chapter 19: Same old new feeling**

* * *

It had been three days since the night they took Rin back to the hospital, and Kagome had not been seeing much of Sesshoumaru since then. She had been busy with her job at Kinokuniya bookstore and the flyers-distribution at Akihabara at night, while she knew he was terribly busy too, with work at Taisho Holdings. 

On top of her two hectic jobs, Kagome had been busy rushing down to the hospital to accompany Rin from around six to nine daily, before she had to rush off to her other job. Once she got off work at Kinokuniya, she had to practically run to Shibuya train station to take the train to the hospital. Thankfully, Kagome's mother would accompany Rin from the morning to the late afternoon, while Souta would usually stay with the little girl from evening till the visiting hours were over. Sesshoumaru and Kasumi would also be there sometimes after dinner.

If it was not for her family and Sesshoumaru's constant support, Kagome would never have managed on her own. However, in order to dedicate more care to Rin, she had decided to terminate her flyers distribution night job at Akihabara.

Earlier on at work at Kinokuniya, she had seen the headlines of Newsweek Japan while counting the stock supplies. It was none other than Sesshoumaru on the cover, with Nishimoto Yutaka, a famous young entrepreneur.

Using her own money, Kagome had bought a copy of the Newsweek magazine to read more on the details. This was a major turning point, arguably the largest so far, in Sesshoumaru's career as Taisho Holdings' CEO, and she was not going to miss a single detail of it.

Taisho Holdings was in the talks with a renowned medical equipment and technology company, Nishimoto Biomedical Technology, intending to buy over 70 per cent of their voting stock, allowing Taisho Holdings to hold a total of at least 80 per cent of their voting stock. Taisho Holdings would be able to hold seats in Nishimoto's board of directors and have a say in their policies and management, while both companies will be able to share the benefits of tax consolidation and also to share operating losses should they occur.

It was a win-win situation for both parties, but it also came at a huge risk. Should Sesshoumaru be able to lead Taisho Holdings in clinching this deal successfully, the benefits would be immeasurable. On the other hand, should they fail, Kagome was afraid that even their millions of reserve funds would be jeopardized.

But knowing Sesshoumaru, coupled with his potential and ability, this would not be a problem. He would clinch the deal for sure.

Kagome smiled in pride as she read the private interview Sesshoumaru had with the magazine.

He had said, _"If it wasn't for my loved ones, I would not have found the courage and strength to lead Taisho Holdings as CEO. My work is important to me, but my loved ones are of utmost priority."_

"_But Mr. Taisho, you once mentioned in an interview with us five years ago that work comes first for you. If you don't mind us asking, what has caused this change in your outlook of life and work?"_

"_Sometimes, you have to lose something to find it again. I found what I lost, and I am not going to let it go."_

That was all he said, but Kagome knew very well what he was referring to.

Closing the magazine, she placed it carefully into her locker, before retrieving a slightly bulging paper bag.

She was seeing him that evening for dinner, and it was to be at their old home. He was cooking for her like he used to do, and he apparently had a surprise for her.

What could he possibly be planning?

Kagome had tried to find out more over the phone, but given how secretive Sesshoumaru was, Kagome could not retrieve any bit of information. She could only wait till dinner time to find out for herself.

* * *

As Kagome waited outside the departmental store at which she worked at, feeling slightly fidgety in the dress she brought along to work to change into. It was a simple spaghetti-strapped black dress, ending slightly above the knees. The only accessories she had on were a string of pearls and a small Prada clutch bag which she received from Kasumi as a gift. 

She had no idea why she was nervous, but she sincerely hoped she looked good enough.

What would he say if he saw her? Would he think of her as good-looking? Would he notice the ugly varicose veins on her calves? She hoped he wouldn't; she tried concealing them with the air stocking spray.

It felt like six years ago, when he first asked her out for dinner. She had been so nervous then; she could barely eat.

Taking her cell phone out of her handbag, Kagome saw that it was already 6.10pm.

He was late by ten minutes, something highly uncharacteristic of him.

Just as Kagome was looking out for the familiar black Lexus on the road, a white Honda Accord Hybrid sedan pulled up in front of her. The window came down, and it was none other than Sesshoumaru who leaned over to look up at her from the driver's seat.

"Sorry, I'm late."

"It's alright, don't worry about it." Kagome smiled, before stepping into the car. The smell of brand new leather greeted her, and she noted how everything about the car was spotless and in top condition.

"Is Souta already at the hospital with Rin?" Sesshoumaru asked.

"Yeah, he called me around 5.40pm. He got off from work early today, so he reached the hospital around 5.30pm." Kagome answered dutifully. "He's a great brother."

"He is." Sesshoumaru replied.

"I've also decided to quit my flyers distributing job to dedicate more time to Rin." She spoke up, informing him of her recent decision.

"That's good. Just leave all the financial burdens to me, Kagome."

She nodded, feeling the sense of security only he was capable of providing her with.

"Anyway, you changed your car?" She asked, running her eyes over the interior of the spacious car.

Sesshoumaru gave her a small smile, before driving out back onto the main road. "You think it's nice?"

"It's a beauty. Classy yet cozy at the same time." She commented, leaning into the seat and trying to get accustomed to the feel of the new leather behind her back. "Good choice."

He didn't reply to her comment, and instead, commented on her instead.

"You look beautiful."

"Me?" Surprised was the first reaction, before she felt a light blush spreading across her cheeks, and she self-consciously tried to smooth out imaginary creases in her dress. She cast a somewhat shy glance at the man beside her, before saying softly. "Thanks."

She could feel him looking at her, and it was enough to make her heart beat faster. It was weird really, they were once married, they had a child, they had sex recently, but yet she was still feeling so nervous, like a high school girl going out on a date with her crush.

_Hatsu kataomoi mitai na kanji suru... (Feels like a first crush...)_

Kagome cleared her throat, before changing the topic. "So, how's the voting stock acquisition with Nishimoto going?"

"You know about it?"

"Anyone who saw the latest issue of Newsweek would, I guess." She replied with amusement tingeing her voice. "I work at Kinokuniya, remember?"

He nodded, before answering her previous question. "It's going pretty smoothly…we're still in the talks, so nothing's really confirmed so far. I feel that it's wiser to take a slower approach in this case. On top of that, not all of the executives agree with the acquisition of stocks."

"Really? Well, as much as I am behind you, I can see where they're coming from. I got some details from the article in the magazine. It's a very brave move on your part."

"Brave?" Sesshoumaru raised his eyebrows. "Try telling that to my father. He almost collapsed when he heard about it a few days ago, and before he hung up the phone, I was quite sure I heard words like 'risky', 'foolhardy' and 'abysmal'."

Kagome laughed as she mentally pictured her father-in-law ranting about how risky it would be. But Sesshoumaru and his father's working styles were the complete opposite of each other. Sesshoumaru believed strongly in taking risks to reap greater benefits, while the latter preferred a more systematic and safe way of building up his company's strength.

"I can totally imagine that," Kagome said between laughs, before the laughter died gradually. "But I know he is worrying for nothing. You can do it, I know you can."

"Ever thought you might be overestimating me?"

"I know you too well. Besides, I saw what you said in the interview." She replied almost instantly, and their eyes met for a moment. In that magical moment of connection, she smiled, and he could not help but return it.

Her smile was encouraging, assuring and understanding at the same time.

That was Kagome's effect on him.

"Any idea who I was referring to?" He casually asked, before turning out onto the highway that led to his home.

Kagome felt stirrings of an indescribable emotion in her heart, but she decided, two could play the game.

"Hmm…your father? Your mother? Inuyasha?" She pretended to guess, deliberately stealing glances at his face as she did.

"Maybe," He replied, keeping his eyes on the road ahead. "But I was referring to someone else. You want to make a guess?"

"Who?" Kagome feigned ignorance, willing her heart to stop beating so frantically.

"I was referring to you."

The answer came so directly; Kagome felt almost overwhelmed in a moment. She could only stay silent for a few seconds, while his romantic yet almost overly direct words wreaked havoc on her mind and soul.

"You might not know it, but you're my source of strength, Kagome." He continued, oblivious to the effects his words were having on her heart.

She felt so loved, so cherished, and her heart ached with love. She closed her eyes to savor the moment.

It was the same old new feeling.

"As you are mine, Sesshoumaru." She whispered, as he reached over to hold her hand, bringing it to his lips and laying a gentle kiss on the back. "Shall we be each others' strength?"

He nodded, and did not say a word. All he did was press yet another kiss onto her hand.

From where his lips touched her skin, tingles shot up her arm from her hand, burning a direct path to her heart.

The new car sped on, and it was not long before Kagome was once again at the doorstep of the place she used to call home.

_

* * *

To be continued… _

A/N: Drama, more plot and fluff. Undoubtedly MissTeak's favorite combination. Even though a sprinkling of angst would have made it a little less diabetic, but hey! We all need a dose of sugar every now and then.

Till chapter 20, please take care! Now, why not give me a review? You might get your chapter 20 early!

* * *


	20. Recollections

Standard disclaimers apply.

A/N: Thank you for all your reviews and your support! Here's chapter 20, updated early as promised. Alright, before we actually go on to read this chapter, I'd just like to make a little announcement here.

This story, which I absolutely adore, would most probably end around chapter 30-35. Which means we still have a pretty long way to go, and I hope you will continue supporting it. However, as I've mentioned before, I am currently a full-time college student, and college end-of-semester exams are approaching in a month's time, on top of my part-time job as a math tuition teacher and my part-time modeling job. I am going to quit the latter soon, so…yeah but I don't want to flunk the exams and get barred from writing forever by my folks, so please understand should the updating comes slower. I am writing almost everyday now in order to make that up to you guys, for you guys simply rock!

Thank you and please enjoy chapter 20!

**Title: Love after Loss**

**Chapter 20: Recollections**

* * *

Kagome stepped slowly into the vast interior of the house, taking in the familiar sights which she had almost forgotten with time. Now that she was back at the same place, it appeared oddly familiar, as if she had never left it for a day, yet foreign, for the fact that she had left remained.

It was an odd feeling to say the least, and Kagome could not say a word but walk around aimlessly, looking at every detail and trying to match what she saw to pieces of her memory's jigsaw puzzle. The house was furnished in Zen style, because of Kagome's love for peace and Sesshoumaru's love for formal tradition and culture. It brought a sense of calming and peace to their house in modern, hectic Japan.

A paradox, really, but the house screamed peace.

The walls, they were still painted in the pristine white color.

In the corner of the living room, was none other than the elaborately arranged indoor Zen pool with its calm running water, intersecting bamboo arrangements and kanji stone designs. There were no longer koi fish swimming leisurely in the cool clear water, and Kagome could only presume they died, and were never replaced.

She walked around the living room, feeling the familiar feel of the parquet flooring beneath her feet. It was everything she had almost forgotten.

On the coffee table, was none other than her favorite mini white jade Buddha cobblestone fountain, lit up so it was emitting a soft, gentle glow as it always did. This calming picture, painted by the Zen beauty of the house, was what accompanied Kagome through countless of unhappiness nights when she fought with Sesshoumaru.

An extension from the living room brought her out into the garden, where in the light of the setting sun, seemed even more breath-taking than she could recall. The onyx black marble tiling created a dry path for her to walk out into the garden, whereas the tiling on both sides of the path was lowered so as to hold approximately an inch high of water. Underwater lights cast hazy glows around the calming garden, while Sesshoumaru's favorite Emperor Harp wind chime tinkled merrily in the evening breeze.

The elegant traditional setting made her feel like she took a travel back in time, and she would not deny that in the past, the young romantic girl in her heart would imagine herself to be a Japanese princess, with Sesshoumaru being the charismatic feudal Lord whom she was betrothed to. A little smile emerged on her face; if only life was just so simple. Right now, being so jaded from all the blows Fate decided to deal her with, Kagome felt nothing like a beautiful princess.

As Kagome strolled down the path in awe, Sesshoumaru stood silently behind her, watching her take in the details of the house, revisiting memory lane. He hoped she would like the way he left everything in place; it was just the exact way she had decorated the house almost six years ago when they got married.

Kagome came to a beautiful statue which they picked together when they went to China for a vacation. It was a white Kannon (Goddess of Mercy) statue, with a dragon curled up at her feet. The subtle meanings behind the beauty of the statue were what Kagome and Sesshoumaru liked best about it.

Kannon-sama was the symbol of peace, compassion and mercy, symbolizing the gentle woman, whereas the masculine dragon stood for strength, power and courage. Together, they painted a beautiful picture of the harmony between yin and yang, the union of masculine and feminine principles in a harmonious connection.

Under the apparent peace, lurked a haze of sadness. Why couldn't they coexist in a harmonious connection as well in the past? In this house that clearly expressed the owners' pursuit of peace in a rowdy world, held no peace in the past. It was a sad thought.

"You kept this as well…" She whispered, gently touching the statue while turning back to smile serenely at Sesshoumaru.

He nodded, and she turned from the garden to walk back into the living room.

"Can I go upstairs?" She asked politely, as if she was nothing more than a mere visitor exploring the house for the first time.

Another nod from him, and she proceeded to make her way up the stairs.

"I will call you down for dinner in a while." Came his silky deep voice from behind her, and Kagome smiled and nodded before resuming her ascend to the second level where their bedroom used to be.

As she walked up, framed photographs of Sesshoumaru and herself adorned the stairway. The first which met her eyes was one which they took at the Taisho Holdings summer festival family day.

That was their third date, and due to having many familiar eyes pinned on them and simply the awkwardness of a new relationship, Sesshoumaru and Kagome were not in contact. Dressed in a striking red yukata, she stood demurely with her hands folded in front of her, with Sesshoumaru standing by her side in a black yukata, face fixed in his usual expression. The only sign that gave their relationship away was the yoyo-tsuri in his hand, which he caught for her.

A few more steps and another photograph greeted her. This was taken at Taisho Holdings' annual dinner and dance with their board of directors and advisors, along with many other distinguished guests from other companies. By the time that photograph was taken, everyone in the company already knew of their relationship, and from the way Sesshoumaru had his arm around Kagome's waist, it was evident they did not intend to hide anything.

The next photo along the stairway was a personal favorite of hers, for Sesshoumaru was smiling in it. It was taken at Sentosa Island in Singapore, and the equatorial sun shining down upon them only managed to bring out their smiles even more. It was only in situations not related to work, such as this private trip, was he able to smile freely. Kagome smiled at her own expression; both of them were grinning while holding a straw each in their mouths, drinking from a coconut.

The last picture along the stairs was that of Sesshoumaru, her and Rin. Rin was newborn then, just a tiny red-faced little bundle in Kagome's hands. Kagome was clad in a hospital gown without a trace of makeup for she had just given birth to their daughter, but shining through the fatigue was none other than radiance. The same went for Sesshoumaru; the joy and radiance on his face was evident as they took a picture together as a family of three for the very first time.

Kagome smiled gently, reaching out to touch the cheeks of the little baby in the photograph. Her little baby was already a big girl of five.

The colors of her memories were almost fading, but looking at this place only helped redefine every single shade of color and brought back countless memories which she had somehow managed to bury and live on without. With every sight she took in, Kagome felt like a missing fragment was returned to her broken soul.

Piece by piece she picked up, bit by bit she healed.

She had always been fond of the past to begin with. She knew then, she was not type who could say "Forget it" and move on as if nothing had happened.

She believed she could, but not her, not Higurashi Kagome.

Slowly approaching the room which once belonged to them, Kagome took a deep breath before entering. The room smelled almost the same, with the familiar Bvlgari fragrance for men lingering in the air, except that it was not mingled with the sweet floral of her Estee Lauder Green Tea Spray.

Her eyes were immediately drawn to what has to be the most attention-grabbing item in the bedroom. It was their wedding photo, enlarged to approximately three feet long and two feet across.

It felt as if her heart had momentarily become an open cavity in her heart, and that gaping hole was enough to make her want to sprint down the stairs, into the kitchen and into his arms. Only he was able to fill up the gap.

Her footsteps reverberated in the empty room, sounding almost disruptive in the spacious calm. On her old dressing table, arranged neatly in a row, were all her bottles and pots of facial products and cosmetics. Pulling her drawer open, she saw that her comb, hair accessories, grooming tools and bottles of nail polish were all intact.

These were all the things she could not bring herself to go back and retrieve in the past, but she did not expect him to keep them.

It turned out that everything her father-in-law mentioned was true.

On her side of the bed, placed by the lamp, was her book on psychological marketing techniques. The book mark was still placed neatly at the page she last read, and on his side of the bed, the familiar Ultraman spectacles case was resting on the drawer. He used to complain it looked stupid when she bought it for him, but he still kept it.

She sat down slowly on her side of the bed.

Turning around, she picked up his pillow slowly, before holding it close to herself. Pressing her face closer, she closed her eyes and inhaled. It smelled of him, masculine, familiar and incredibly sexy. It was her habit, perhaps even a slightly embarrassing fetish, but she loved the way he smelled.

"Kagome."

Hearing her name in the silky voice of her ex-husband made her drop the pillow she was holding into her lap, and she hurriedly turned around in time to see him stand in the door way.

"Hmm?"

"Dinner is ready." He said and held his hand out to her. On his face, was not a single trace of amusement.

"Oh, alright." Kagome quickly smiled in relief, before standing up and replacing his pillow at its original position on the bed. Walking over to him, she slipped her hand into his larger one, as they walked down the stairs together.

From the top of the stairs, Kagome could see that the lights in the entire living room had been dimmed, leaving only the crystal lights on the dining table illuminating the area with a classy, soft glow. Jazz music was playing very softly in the background, enough to create a romantic and sexy atmosphere yet not too loud to the extent of being cringe-worthy.

"Wow, Sess, this is…" Kagome started, only to have her sentence trail off into nothing as she took in the breathtaking sight laid ahead of her. She turned to look at him, and all she could make out in the dim lights was the small, self-satisfied smile on his lips.

The table was set in Western style, a stark difference from the usual bowl and chopsticks, while a bottle of red wine sat in an ice bucket by the side.

Lingering in the air was the appetizing yet slightly intoxicating fragrance of Marsala wine, and she knew without a second doubt; it was Italian cuisine which he had prepared for her. From where she was, she could see the main dish of Chicken Marsala, herb rice, and a few more dishes which she could not identify.

As they approached the table, he pulled out her chair for her. She sat, and up close, she could clearly see all the effort he put into this dinner. Even the flowers on the table were fresh and exceptionally vibrant. The dishes looked so appetizing, coupled with both of them being dressed for the occasion, along with the setting, were more than enough to make Kagome feel like a princess.

Smiling at her facial expressions as she took in every single detail of this specially-planned dinner, Sesshoumaru took his seat opposite Kagome.

"You must have put a lot of time and effort into this…" Kagome said, her eyes sparkling with awe and joy.

"Do you like it?" He asked simply, looking at her face intently for a moment.

"Yes, I like it a lot." She smiled, looking around before turning back to look at him with eyes shining with gratitude.

"Then it is all worth it." He returned her smile. She looked so beautiful in her simple black dress, and even the string of pearls at her neck paled in comparison to her radiance.

"Thank you, Sess."

He shook his head, before reaching out with his hand to direct her line of vision. "There's something else. I want to give it to you before we start eating."

Among all the food and cutlery, was a small black box lying quietly on the table.

Kagome gave him a questioning look as she pointed at the box, only to get a nod from him.

Picking it up, she brought it closer to herself, before asking with a slightly reserved smile. "Is it alright?"

"Open up."

With Sesshoumaru's assurance, Kagome held the box in her left hand, feeling the cool leather of the exterior on her skin. Using her right hand, she placed her fingers on both sides of the lid, before opening the box slowly.

As the lid was lifted, Kagome could not suppress the soundless gasp which escaped her.

Lying against the velvet lining, was a car key, tied up in a string of red ribbon.

"This…this…" Words failed her as she could only alternate between staring at the key and Sesshoumaru's face. His expression was gentle, and his eyes were smiling at her. "Your new car…"

"The Honda Hybrid's for you. You chose my black Lexus, how can I replace it? I thought it will be a lot more convenient for you to drive than to rush to everywhere on the train."

Kagome was still silent, as her fingers touched the cool metal of the key. She still could not say a word.

"Do you like it?"

She could only look at Sesshoumaru dumbly, while tears gradually clouded her vision. The dull ache behind her nose only grew while she tried to hold the tears back. The occasion was too beautiful for her to cry.

"You don't like it?" He asked, as tears escaped her eyes.

She almost laughed out loud at the hesitant tone he used, before nodding silently, touched by his love for her.

"No, I like it a lot…I like it very much. Thank you, Sess." Kagome gave Sesshoumaru a watery smile, picking up the napkin by the side and dabbing her eyes with it. "When did you get the idea to surprise me like that?"

"That day when I saw you waiting for the bus at the bus stop."

"And you kept it from me all these while." She berated in mock anger, giving him a grudging smile, before sniffling. "You're really a sneaky guy."

He shrugged with a half-smile.

Kagome settled for simply looking at his handsome face, feeling the love and the joy in her heart grow with every second.

"Thank you, Sess. Thank you so much…for everything."

_

* * *

To be continued…_

A/N: Alright! That was chapter 20 for you!

By the way, yoyotsuri is a little balloon filled with some water, floating around in a big tub. To get one, you'd have to catch it using a hook attached to a thin piece of rice paper, so I'd say there is a certain level of difficulty to it.

Now, let's practice some democracy here. Shall we have a vote? I was thinking of another **lemon** in the next chapter, for this chapter was just so romantic! LOL. To write or not to write, that's your choice to make! It will just mean an extra chapter for me, and it does not affect the plot in any way.

Do indicate your choice (if you have any preference) when you review! See you guys!


	21. My Sexy Devil, Lemon warning

Standard disclaimers apply.

A/N: Alright, judging from the votes, it is pretty obvious this upcoming chapter is going to be a big fat **lemon** again! (There was only one vote against it)

For those who are adverse to it, I am really sorry about this, but I am afraid you'd have to skip the chapter if you simply cannot accept the idea of a lemon. You can read it up to the part where they enter the bathroom. LOL. You've been warned!

But for those who voted for and those who waited for others to vote, here's our chance to get our evil little minds into the gutter and make some lemonade! Unlike the previous lemon, which was basically more of healing and angst, I tried my best to make this fun and kinky. You know, more romantic? I think Miroku would be proud of me!

And I used some kinky Japanese in it. blushes Like it or not, you're going to be learning some. LOL. For that, I have my good friend Misa to thank and all her shoujo ero manga. She's Japanese, and we are always talking nonsense like that.

Enjoy, and do review if you liked it!

**Title: Love after Loss**

**Chapter 21: My sexy devil **_(Lemon warning)_

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Kagome hummed Shibasaki Kou's "Katachi aru mono" as she ran the soapy plate underneath the tap, watching in odd fascination as traces of soapy froth disappeared down the sink with a gurgling sound.

Picking another plate up, she proceeded to rinse off remnants of sauce and food before picking up the sponge by the side.

As she soaped the plate, Kagome thought absentmindedly of the dinner earlier on.

Dinner was good, no, it was great. The food, the wine, the ambience, and most importantly, the person across the table – Kagome had not had such enjoyment in a terribly long time. It was good to let herself go to relax and enjoy life every now and then, just to recharge herself for the longer journey which lay in wait ahead.

She felt like Cinderella, having to face reality once the enchanted twelve midnight was over.

"Here. Let me help you."

She looked up to see Sesshoumaru standing by her side, before he rolled up the sleeves of his shirt to pick up another piece of sponge resting by the sink. There was no point in refusing some help, she thought.

Leaning forward, Sesshoumaru placed the sponge directly beneath the nozzle of the dish-washing soap bottle, while Kagome pressed down on the pump twice with a soapy hand to get some of the lemony-smelling soap on the sponge.

"There you go."

Sesshoumaru worked the soap into a thick froth, before picking a bowl up and started removing traces of grease carefully. From beside him, Kagome could not help but steal glances at his side profile while he busied himself with the chore of dish-washing.

The way he paid so much attention to even washing a bowl made him look incredibly cute in that instant; Taisho Sesshoumaru who usually gave his all in work, was doing so even with simple household chores. It made him resemble a little child who was given the glorious task of helping his mother with baking cookies.

On top of being cute, Kagome could not help but notice how incredibly sexy he looked as a few strands of his silvery hair were strewn across his handsome face while he scrubbed on diligently.

Sesshoumaru would toss his head slightly every now and then, for the hair was bothering him, but since his hands were soapy, he could not do anything about it. It was almost funny to watch him try to blow the hair off his face.

After he tried to shrug the hair off for what seemed like the fifth time, Kagome smiled in amusement, before reaching over to help him brush those few annoying strands of hair away.

"Let me help you." She offered, while he gave a half-smile and turned so his face was directly facing her.

In the close proximity, Kagome could feel his warm, steady breath mingling with hers, before she smiled and raised her hand to his handsome face. Using her ring finger and pinkie, she carefully removed the hair from his face, tucking them behind his ear as neatly as she could without leaving a trace of soap on his skin.

He would stay still while she did so, and Kagome did not even realize she had involuntarily held her breath. Sesshoumaru looked so delectable even when he did not have a facial expression. He looked so perfect.

It was then when a wonderful idea struck her.

Thinking Kagome was done, he proceeded to move his face away, before she suddenly said. "Wait, Sess. There's one more strand…"

He once again stayed still, while Kagome continued mumbling under her breath. "Just a little more, just a little more…"

Watching him stay motionless with his face totally at her mercy, Kagome felt amusement bubble up in her merrily. She pretended to brush at the imaginary strands of hair, trying hard to hold the growing laughter in as she imagined his reaction to what she was about to do in the next second.

Kagome ran a soapy fingertip with a huge gob of foam down the length of his nose.

"There you go."

Looking at the surprise that overtook his handsome features in that split moment; Kagome decided it was impossible for her to hold in the laughter for even one more second. She laughed out loud, before scooping up more foam between her fingers and drawing two other streaks across his cheeks.

Her laughter grew in volume as she watched him blink in his comical state, before he reached up with a hand to touch his nose. He did not say a word, and instead, calmly removed as much of the foam as he could with his fingers.

Sesshoumaru's lack of response to her earlier playful actions got her slightly unnerved; her laughter died, and Kagome cast a nervous glance at his face. It was still expressionless.

Could she possible have offended him or something? Maybe she should not have done something so playful, knowing Sesshoumaru's usual attitude.

Pouting involuntarily, she nudged him gently with her elbow.

"Hey…are you mad at me? I was just playing…you know, I didn't- eeek!"

Kagome let out a small scream of surprise as Sesshoumaru pulled her towards him in a strong, swift move and mercilessly wiped all the foam on his fingers on her face.

She struggled in vain against his hold on her waist, shaking her head while trying to evade his fingers.

"Help! Not fair!" She reached out with her still soapy hand to ruffle his long hair, equally mercilessly. By now, both were laughing while they tried to escape each others' attacks. "You bully! Let go of me!"

"No."

Kagome once again shrieked when he ruffled her hair as well, before she quickly leaned in to close the distance between them and wiped her face on his shirt. Drawing apart, she narrowed her eyes at him in mock anger.

"I demand you let go of me now, Taisho Sesshoumaru."

"Who made the first move?" Sesshoumaru drawled as he painted another streak of foam on Kagome's face, which held a trace of amusement. "I don't think I was the one."

"Alright, alright!" Kagome called out, raising her hand as if to call for a peace truce. While Sesshoumaru looked at her silently with a smug smile, she tried to keep a straight face while her other hand slowly slid over to where the tap was. Feeling around, she managed to get a good, firm hold.

"I apologize…" She said in a suspenseful voice, before turning the tap full on and pressing her thumb under the running stream to spray a jet of water forcefully at Sesshoumaru. "…Not!"

Watching the water drench the front of his shirt and face, Kagome let out a bout of gleeful laughter, before releasing her hand and trying to run past Sesshoumaru out into the living room.

No such luck.

He caught her effortlessly around the waist, and placed his hand under the running tap to collect water, before dumping it on her head. Water ran down in rivulets from her forehead, mingled with the fresh-smelling soap which he had rubbed into her hair earlier on.

Kagome laughed, as she shook her head in amused exasperation. It was just near impossible to win Sesshoumaru at these games. It had been so in the past, and it still was.

No longer struggling against his tight hold on her, their close proximity to each other suddenly dawned upon her, while she cast a reproachfully teasing glance at him.

"Childish." She whispered, watching his eyes dance with amusement at the messy state she was in. "Look at the mess you made."

"I shall not remind you who the one who brought the water in was." He whispered in his deep, husky voice, unknowingly sending tingles down her spine. From where she was, she had a very good view of the way his wet shirt clung tightly to his skin, outlining the chiseled body underneath. Droplets of water lingered on his skin, giving it a wet, sensual sheen.

As if the magic of the playful game had evaporated, both looked into each others' eyes for a few seconds, with neither breaking the intimate visual contact.

"The mess…"

"It can wait."

Hearing those words spill so sexily from his mouth, while keeping her eyes on his golden orbs, made her toes scrunch up in excitement. Their breathing was increased slightly in rate after laughing and running around, and Kagome felt the familiar tingling sensation of sexual arousal rise in her body's depths. An innocent game had totally turned into something so sexy and erotic.

His gaze was smoldering as he kept it fixed on her face, as if trying to take in very single detail of her. She remained unfazed, while she looked back at him.

Her heart was almost bursting with the overwhelming love she felt for this man, to the extent where she felt like if they did not do anything about it, she would just die. The sexual tension in the air was rapidly mounting to levels which they could not ignore even if they wished to.

As if he heard her silent plea through the air, Sesshoumaru leaned in gradually, followed by Kagome.

It was as if a force was drawing them to each other, and it was a force neither could fight, for it simply felt so right. It was as if there was nothing else to do in that situation.

Distance was reduced to naught as their lips touched briefly with a burst of exquisite sensations, before both drew back ever so slightly only to quickly close in the gap again, deepening the kiss as Kagome willingly opened her mouth to accept all Sesshoumaru had to offer. She had to tiptoe; he was so much taller than she was, and it excited her to feel him kissing her from above while her head tilted upwards to receive his attentions.

His tongue dove in between her lips, while his hand slid up her back to caress her nape gently. The feel of her skin underneath his fingertips, made slick with the soap and the water they were playing with, was enough to send arousal coursing through his veins. Kagome's fingers were running along his jaw line, while the other unoccupied hand gripped a fistful of cloth from the sleeve of shirt, holding on for leveragel and also demanding for him not to cease what he was doing.

She moaned softly as his tongue ran itself tantalizingly over her own, before she worked hers to meet his in a gentle, sensual caress as if they were exploring each other for the first time. It was almost sinful to experience such a pleasure so slowly and carefully, but yet at the same time, it felt regrettable that the need for oxygen would always shorten the wonderful experience.

Through her haze of pleasure, she felt his hand abandon her nape to slide back down her spine to reach her bottom, before he ran his palm over the slinky material of her black dress, feeling the flesh underneath. Another soft pant escaped her lips as he bent down slightly to lay kisses on her neck, breaking their heated kiss.

It was only getting too clear where this was heading, but neither was able to stop.

"Sess…" She called out his name breathily as he nibbled gently on her skin, before dragging his tongue over for a taste of Kagome.

"Hmm?"

"H…Here?" It was getting somewhat hard to think, when his hand somewhat found its way underneath her skirt.

"Where," He whispered, trailing his hand up her thigh. "Do you have in mind?"

He moved up a bit to kiss the shell of her ear, while she buried her hand in his silver tresses, feeling the foamy soap against her fingers. Another soft whimper escaped Kagome when he sucked on the lobe of her ear.

"Bathroom?" She whispered back, feeling very turned on by the prospect of spending quality time in the shower and bathtub with him once again.

He smiled against her skin; she was getting more and more comfortable around him, and that was a good thing. Even if it was only lust, at least she was opening up sufficiently to let herself go in enjoying the act with him.

Without any warning, Sesshoumaru swiftly scooped Kagome up in his arms, before carrying her bridal-style. She let out a tiny squeal of surprise as he did so, before bashfully wrapping her arms around his neck to lean in closer to his large, firm frame.

Thoughts ran through her head as he walked up the stairs with her in his arms, and all Kagome could think of in that moment was what they were about to do in perhaps, minutes. Her ex-husband was really a drug to her senses; she could not and would not get enough of him. Every taste left her wanting so much more.

Her nether regions were getting terribly wet with her overwhelming desire for him, and she could only pray Sesshoumaru would do something about it soon. The raging hormones in her seemed to be awakened just by being with him, and Kagome's desire for him only grew with every step he took.

True enough, he did not disappoint her, and she soon found herself being carried through their bedroom, where the bathroom was an extension from.

The wedding photo high up on the wall once again greeted Kagome's eyes, and smiling to herself, she snuggled even closer to Sesshoumaru before he stepped into the bathroom with her in his arms.

Depositing her gently on the cold white marble sink counter, he kissed her lightly on the lips twice before walking over to where the light switches were. Turning the lights on, he turned his attention fully to a partially drenched, soapy and aroused Kagome, who was sitting on the ledge of the marble counter. In the classy yellowish lightings of the bathroom, the white marble, glass and gold décor made it look more like that of a hotel than a home.

Kagome's eyes were glazed over slightly with her desire, and those lips, now reddened, were parted slightly.

"Anata ga hoshii no." _(I want you.)_

His eyes widened a fraction at her open words, before he swiftly walked over to her to lift her face towards his by tilting her chin upwards with his fingers. Those beautiful eyes of molten gold stared intently into hers, before he whispered by in a tone which made her shudder in anticipation.

"Sou dattara, matasenai." _(If so, then I won't make you wait.)_

With that he leaned in to kiss her fully on the lips again, before the two of them engaged in a battle of their tongues while fumbling hands worked all over each others' bodies in a bid to remove the clothing which were standing in the way. It only took a swift downward movement along Kagome's back to unzip her black dress, and from where Sesshoumaru was, the entire creamy expanse of her back was revealed to him in the reflection of the mirror behind.

That only urged him on to see even more; it felt so kinky to watch themselves in the mirror, especially when he delivered her sensations which left her moaning and occasionally, screaming.

Sesshoumaru lifted Kagome up to place her only the floor, watching with satisfaction as the dress, being of a silky material, slid down the length of her legs to rest in a pool on the floor.

As Kagome stood clad only in her underwear, leaning against the counter for support, Sesshoumaru set to remove his clothing.

From where she was, Kagome could not help but stare into the mirror in front of her while clothes left Sesshoumaru's body article by article, leaving more and more bare skin visible until he was standing completely nude by her side.

The evidence of his desire for her was standing tall and proud, and even though she knew he was watching her, she kept her eyes fixed on the erect penis, knowing at the same time, it affected him as much as it did her.

She raised her eyes slowly, and there, in the reflection, they met each others' gaze. Without breaking their eye contact, Kagome slowly removed the clasp of her bra before slipping out of it and tossing it onto the pile which was Sesshoumaru's clothes. Her panties quickly followed, and she blushed slightly as she saw how drenched it was. The white was stained almost translucent with her arousal.

Feeling his strong arms wrap around her from behind, Kagome was next greeted by the sensual feeling of Sesshoumaru's body begin pressed against her back. Somewhere close to the juncture where her spine met her bottom, she felt his erection pressing against her, applying an erotic pleasure even without doing anything.

"Kagome…kirei na." _(Kagome…you're beautiful.)_

She lowered her head ever so slightly, feeling another blush spread across her cheeks as he whispered an endearment in her ear, only to have the blush intensify greatly when he went on to whisper something dirtier.

A moan escaped her lips when his fingers slipped in from between her legs to trail themselves along her wet vagina, circling the clitoris before drawing his hand out and placing in right in front of her eyes.

"Konna ni nureteru…dou shiyou kana?" _(You're so wet…what are we going to do about this?)_

Kagome had to bite her lip to prevent herself from groaning wantonly, and she whispered, "Konna koto made kiite…Ijiwaru…" _(Evil…asking questions to such an extent.)_

He smirked, and cupping a strong hand under her left thigh, Sesshoumaru lifted it up and propped the foot firmly on the marble counter. Kagome instinctively knew what he was thinking of doing, and quickly shut her eyes. It was one thing to have sex with him, but another to see herself so erotically displayed in the mirror.

Sesshoumaru's smiled when he saw her eyes squeezed shut with a red flush across her cheeks; something she always did when he decided to bring their love-making to naughtier levels. And as always, all she needed was a little bit of encouragement from his part.

His hand slipped down to the exposed juncture between her legs, while he resumed stroking the dripping wet nether regions to elicit a whimpering moan from her, before her back arched sensually against his body.

"Me wo akete…" _(Open you eyes…) _He whispered sensually in her ear, keeping his eyes on her reflection in the mirror. She looked so beautiful in her naked glory, and all too erotic for his senses to take.

Kagome shook her head. "Iya…hazukashii…" _(No…it's so embarrassing.)_

"Hazukashikunai…kirei da." _(It's not embarrassing, it's beautiful.)_

He quickly refuted that, before a long slender finger delved in deep within her opening, buried all the way to the knuckle. She cried out in pleasure, before throwing her head back onto his shoulder.

"Mi te…kono me de…Eroi na, Kagome." _(Take a look…with your own eyes. You look so erotic, Kagome.)_

With his words, Kagome allowed herself to be gently coaxed into slowly opening her eyes and seeing herself in the mirror with her leg propped up against the counter, exposing her vagina completely, while his finger was buried deep in her, his hand shining with stains of her juices.

"Ijiwaru…" _(Evil…) _Kagome smiled in mock reproachment. "Dare no sei kana?" _(Whose fault is it?)_

Gosh. And he said that was not embarrassing at all. But above all the embarrassment was a stronger emotion which fuelled the growing fire within her.

It was desire.

While her eyes were fixed at the sight before her, Sesshoumaru withdrew the finger to plunge it into her again.

"Do you feel that?" He whispered, while a gasp escaped her. She did not say a word, and he deliberately added one more finger, licking her neck to taste the slightly sweet and salty scents on her soft skin.

"Ah!" Kagome let out a small cry, her back arching into him.

"Do you feel that?" He repeated his question, mentally committing how beautiful she looked in the throes of pleasure in his mind.

Kagome panted for air, before nodding weakly. "Y-Yes…"

He placed a chaste kiss on her cheek, an act so highly ironical in the face of their not-so-chaste actions. His talented fingers worked their magic on her, playing her like a lyre before she was thrown over the edge with the mind-blowing pleasure he delivered.

After she came down from her high, Kagome collapsed weakly against Sesshoumaru, shuddering occasionally with the aftershocks of the intense pleasure. He held on tightly to her, before scooping her up and entering the shower area with her.

Kagome clung weakly onto his broad frame, still trying hard to catch her breath after her climax. Sesshoumaru slowly deposited her onto the ground, ensuring she could stand on her own before releasing his hold on her. Her eyes were glazed over with pleasure, while her spine and core still felt the delicious tingling of the greater pleasure which was to come next.

Turning the shower on, Sesshoumaru once again gathered Kagome's petite frame into his arms while the gradually warming water beat down upon them, washing the almost coagulating soap into foam that ran down their skin sensually in rivulets.

"Sess…Onegai, hayaku…" _(Sess, please…hurry.)_

He kissed her full on the lips, before whispering in her ear.

"Patience, darling."

"Please…"

Kagome wrapped her legs around Sesshoumaru's waist as he propped her back up against the wall of the shower area, before she shuddered with the feeling of cold marble against her heated skin.

Her core was burning, aching for his attention, and the only way to quench this growing thirst in her was by kissing him passionately, hoping to relief some of her pressing desire. His body felt so sexy, so slick under her hands, combined with the sensations of the running water from the showerhead.

"Please, Sess…I-I need you." She whispered, tugging gently on his shoulder. "Please…"

He did not comply immediately, but instead, pressed his hard erection against her core without entering her. It was only enough to create a delicious friction which made her feel relieved only for a second, before the feelings of a larger void needed came rushing back to her like a tsunami.

He moved against her slowly and sensually, teasing her clitoris while Kagome cried out in pleasure and frustration at the very same time. Her vagina was aching so badly with a slightly burning sensation while she almost wept with the need for him to enter her, to make her complete.

"Sess…da me…icchau yo…" _(Sess…no…I'm coming…)_

He held her in place with his right hand while the left cupped her cheek gently, caressing her face.

"Mada hayai ze, Kagome…" _(It's too early for that, Kagome…)_

He smiled a soft, gentle smile at her which almost made her furiously beating heart come to an abrupt standstill, before reaching out to the side where the soap holder was. Her head turned in the direction of his hand, and Kagome saw, instead of where a bar of soap should be, were two condom foil packets.

Through the lusty haze, she felt even more of his love even before he proved it to her physically. Even when things were getting so steamy between them, he still bore in mind from the previous experience that she would not want to have sex with him without a condom on.

Sesshoumaru picked up one of the foil packets, raising it to his mouth to tear it open, only to have Kagome's hand grab his before he could do so.

Questioning eyes got Kagome looking at Sesshoumaru with all the endearment she could manage in the falling water around them, before she whispered.

"Ii no. Nama de yatte, naka ni dashite ii kara." _(It's alright. Do it without, it's alright to come inside of me.)_

He looked slightly hesitant, as if she might not know what she was talking about, until a reassuring nod threw all his reservations to the wind.

"Aishiteru, Kagome." _(I love you, Kagome.)_

Positioning himself at her vaginal opening, Sesshoumaru pushed forward to enter her fully in one stroke, burying himself to the hilt in Kagome's wet warmth.

Both groaned and tightened their hold on each other for support; before they went on to seek their peak together. Sesshoumaru drew out and plunged in swiftly in a strong rhythm, as Kagome tried to match him for his every stroke.

"Sess…onegai…motto…" _(Sess…please…more…)_ Kagome gasped as he hit a particularly sensitive spot in her. The matted hair clinging to his beautiful face was making her even more aroused with every stroke he made, while she felt as if her heart would just expire with the sheer beauty of their love-making.

She could feel herself getting closer and closer to the apex of this carnal pleasure once again, and with his name on her lips like a mantra, Kagome ground her hips into his pelvis in order to give him enough pleasure to go over the edge with her.

"Sesshoumaru!" She cried out as she came, before he soon followed her with a hoarse cry of her name against her shoulder blade, emptying himself into her while she cradled him closer to her chest.

Feeling their chests press against each others' with every rise and fall, Kagome smiled in contentment as she whispered into his hair, loud enough just for him to know.

"Aishiteru yo, Sesshoumaru…Aishiteru." _(I love you, Sesshoumaru…I love you.)_

After their labored breathing became even once again with some time, he drew apart from her embrace, before looking into her weary but satisfied eyes.

"Kirei na, Kagome. Sekaijuu ni ichiban kirei." _(You're beautiful, Kagome. The most beautiful in the whole world.)_

She smiled, before tilting her head in the direction of the condoms.

"Sore, youi shita no?" _(You intended to use them?)_

He shrugged, a smug smile lingering on the handsome face which she loved so much.

"Akuma mitai ne." _(You're like the Devil himself.)_ Kagome chided, pinching him gently on the cheek.

"Sekushii Akuma da." _(The sexy Devil.)_ He corrected, earning a laugh and an exasperated nod of agreement from her.

She smiled at him, before closing the distance between their lips again. "Watashi no sekushii Akuma da." _(My sexy Devil.)_

After they drew apart from yet another passionate kiss, Sesshoumaru looked at her with a dangerously exciting fire in his eyes despite his stoic expression.

"Tsugi ni doko de shiyou kana?" _(Where should we do it next?)_

_

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To be continued…_

A/N: Here you go! That was our big fat lemon! Isn't Sesshoumaru absolutely adorable?? I totally love him when he's so pervy in private. LOL. I like my lemons fun and kinky, yet not missing out on the romantic and erotic factor as well. I genuinely hoped you guys enjoyed reading this. Noticed Kagome admitted her feelings for him openly? That's the idea.

This lemon is nine pages long! Now, if you truly liked it, why not drop me a review to reward my efforts? I might get inspired to write even more and update faster!


	22. Kagome's little accident

Standard disclaimers apply.

A/N: Hey guys! Thank you for the more than wonderful reviews for the evil lemon in the previous chapter! And I realized everyone loves pervy Sess like I do! LOL. Anyway, I am really sorry, but this chapter will not hold a lemon. You see, because of the date at their home and the entire lemon chapter, I am three chapters behind in my story plan! What was initially supposed to be in chapter 19 is now chapter 22, so I hope you understand as I get back to the plot first.

Keep supporting the story; I guarantee more yummy lemons in the future! Please review!

**Title: Love after Loss**

**Chapter 22: Kagome's little accident**

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Kagome's eyes fluttered open slowly, before closing, and opening again to get accustomed to the first rays of the morning sun. Lying beside her was a warm, firm body, and she smiled a lazy smile as last nights' memories returned to her in a flood of memories.

No wonder she was feeling sore between her legs.

Following the shower area, was the tatami meditation room, the garden, the bath tub and finally, the bed.

Another blush crept up her face. She forgot how many times he made her come the previous night, and it was as if she turned into a wanton woman; her appetite for Sesshoumaru was insatiable.

Snuggling up to the man beside her, she watched his profile quietly, admiring how sculpted his features were, how innocent he looked when he was sleeping.

Propping herself up on her elbows, Kagome gazed at Sesshoumaru's lips, before leaning in to give him a chaste peck.

She drew back, satisfied he was still asleep, before leaning in again for another kiss.

Her lips came into contact with his ever so gently, but before she could pull away, a hand on the back of her head held her in place while the pair of lips she was kissing claimed hers with a greater ardor.

"Hmm-" Kagome made a strangled sound before she relaxed into Sesshoumaru's kiss, enjoying his unique way of greeting her good morning.

She pulled apart first, taking in breaths of air into her oxygen-deprived lungs.

"Good morning to you too." She whispered, her eyes narrowed in amusement.

"What time is it?" Sesshoumaru asked, looking up at her with a lazy smile, before Kagome cast a glance at the alarm clock by the bed.

"Eight." She replied, a second before his cell phone started ringing, breaking the tranquility of the morning.

Sesshoumaru's eyes narrowed in mild annoyance before he reached for the ringing device, before pressing the button for "accept" and bringing it to his ear.

"Yes. This is Taisho Sesshoumaru." His voice sounded guarded, like always when he was at work.

Kagome moved to the side as he sat up in bed to talk on the phone. Sesshoumaru was quiet for a few moments before nodding.

"Alright. Tell Nishimoto-san I'll see him tonight at eight, and tell Myouga to get the proposal ready by nine am. I will be at the office in an hour's time, and the meeting will begin promptly at nine."

Kagome stepped off the bed and walked to the bathroom totally naked, where their clothes still lay discarded on the floor from their activities last night. Bending down to pick up their garments, Kagome asked.

"Your secretary?"

"Yeah." He didn't sound too enthusiastic.

"It can't be that bad." Kagome smiled while she put on her black dress from last night, before folding up her soiled panties and placing it into her clutch bag. "Good luck with the Nishimoto deal."

"I'll do my best." Sesshoumaru replied. "Are you going for work as well?"

She nodded. "Yeah, but I'll have to go home to bathe and change into my uniform first."

"You want me to go with you?"

She shook her head with a smile. "It's alright, you have to rush of to work as well." Denying his offer, Kagome was surprised when he pulled her into a hug.

"Drive safely, OK?" He whispered into her ear, before giving her a kiss on the cheek. "I love you."

"I love you too." Kagome smiled up at him.

It wasn't before long when they got into their respective cars and drove off in opposite directions from the house.

* * *

"Kaho-san, can you please go to the store to check if the magazines from Shueisha are here? If so, we'd have to bring them over to the magazines section to out them out on display at around seven pm. That will be in an hour's time, so we should hurry. The code name should be this." Kagome said, watching the new girl under her nod almost immediately when Kagome showed her the file.

"Hai! I'll go right away, Higurashi-san." She bowed and hurried in the direction of the large storeroom.

Kagome smiled at how hardworking this new colleague of hers was; it was always nice to see youngsters with so much passion for their work, regardless what it might be.

Exhaling, she thought of how good life was turning out for her. She and Sesshoumaru's new relationship was going well, and Rin's condition, from what the doctor said three days ago, was under control for now. Her cancer cells were not spreading as quickly as they initially were, and this meant more time for Rin.

Every minute counted in this battle with acute myelogenous leukemia.

Kagome looked around absentmindedly for a moment to rid her mind of such worrying thoughts, for she was at work after all, until her eyes caught those of an old lady standing by a tall shelf near her.

The old lady smiled politely at her and bowed, before Kagome quickly returned the greeting. It was indeed rare to come across such friendly people these days.

It was then when she noticed the stack of thick encyclopedias on the highest shelf teetering dangerously on the edge. The old lady replaced the book she was browsing back onto the shelf right in front her, but the tiny bit of movement was sufficient to cause the upset of the balance.

The book nearest to the edge lurched forward, and Kagome did the only thing she could think of then.

"Watch out!" She screamed, before running a few steps ahead as fast as her court shoes allowed and pushed the surprised old lady out of the way.

Kagome felt the old lady stagger aside, before she herself started falling onto the ground ahead with nothing for support.

Collapsing with a dull thud, Kagome let out a small cry of pain when two thick encyclopedias came crashing down onto her leg a split moment after her fall. The impact was so sudden; she could hardly feel any pain until a few seconds later.

Through the haze of pain clouding her mind from the sudden and strong impact, Kagome looked through her squinted eyes, hardly opened from the pain, for signs of the old lady.

"Okyaku-sama…da…daijoubu desu ka?"

_(Are you alright? 'Okyaku-sama' refers to 'customer', with a very polite '-sama' added behind. It is meant to show how much the Japanese service lines respect their customers)_

"Daijoubu desu, daijoubu desu." _(I'm alright, I'm alright.) _The old lady hurriedly knelt by Kagome's side, assuring her while some of the staff, alerted by the noise, rushed over to tend to Kagome.

"Higurashi-san! Are you alright?"

"Yes…Yes…" Kagome mumbled weakly, before struggling to stand up. From where she was, she could clearly see a very bad scratch on her left thigh. A thick, jagged cut marred her previously flawless skin, while bits of her stockings stuck to the deep wound at where the edge of the book scratched through.

The pain was reverberating right in the core of her bones, and it hurt to the extent of being almost numb.

"You're bleeding very badly!" Her colleague, Yui, cried out in shock when she saw the wound. "How can you possibly be alright?"

"I think we should bring her to a doctor." Came another voice from somewhere behind her. "The wound is big, despite being a scratch. There's the possibility of getting an infection from this."

"Can you stand up, Higurashi-san?" Yui asked, while she looped Kagome's arm over her shoulder.

"I'll try…" Kagome bit her lower lip as she tried to put some of her weight onto her injured leg, feeling the strain of the pressure on where the books landed.

"You'd have to see a doctor for this one, Higurashi-san." The younger girl insisted, as another male colleague helped support Kagome on the other side. She could feel the blood from her wound trail down her leg to seep into her stockings and her heels. "Don't worry about getting permission; I'll inform Inaba-san for you."

"Thank you, Yui-chan." Kagome thanked her colleague, while they helped her to the staff room. "Anyway, is the old lady alright?"

"Yes. Honestly, Higurashi-san, your kindness is amazing."

"No. She is a customer, Yui-chan. Thank goodness I was the one who got hurt instead…can you imagine if our customer got hurt? There'll only be nothing but trouble for all of us. So this is more of a blessing than a curse."

"Higurashi-san, you could have been seriously hurt if the books landed somewhere else, you know." The male colleague spoke up, while holding Kagome in a standing position as Yui hurriedly positioned a chair for her to sit in. "I think you'd need stitches for this."

Kagome sat down with the help of her colleagues, before the male colleague left to ensure the fallen books were replaced on the shelves.

Kneeling down by Kagome's side, the younger girl asked concernedly. "Do you need me to go to the doctor's with you? I can apply for a half-day leave too-"

Kagome shook her head with a smile. "It's alright, Yui-chan. I can't possibly let you lose half a day's worth of salary just to accompany me."

"But…how are you going to go alone in this state? Are you feeling better?"

"Yes…It doesn't hurt as much now. I can't go alone, but I can contact my…"

"Your boyfriend?" Yui added helpfully, looking for the first aid kit in the staff room while giving Kagome a big smile. "Is it the same guy I saw the other time?"

"No, and yes." Kagome replied after a moment of thought.

"Eh?"

"It is that guy, but he is not my boyfriend." Kagome explained, while Yui's eyes narrowed with confusion. "You see, Yui-chan…he's my ex-husband."

"Your ex-husband?!" The young girl was shocked, for Kagome did not tell her she had once been married.

"Yeah…and because of some events, we've somehow started seeing each other again." Kagome continued, feeling a syrupy warmth fill up her heart at the thought of Sesshoumaru. "Can you pass me my cell phone? I'd like to make a call."

"That's wonderful, isn't it? I am happy for you, Higurashi-san." Yui smiled as she retrieved the phone from Kagome's bag. "Did I mention how handsome I think your ex-husband is?"

Kagome smiled before replying in amusement. "Do you think I need a reminder on how cute he is?"

Dialling Sesshoumaru's cell phone number, Kagome pressed the button for "call". The ringing was heard twice, before his voice came over the line.

"This is Taisho Sesshoumaru speaking."

"It's me."

If she could see him at that moment, she could have sworn his stoic expression relaxed.

"Yes, darling?"

"Sess…I need you to do me a favor."

"And that would be?"

"I was wondering if you can spare the time to take me to the doctor's…You see, I got into a _very, very_, minor accident…" Kagome ensured she emphasized sufficiently on the words "very" and "minor", for she knew Sesshoumaru would definitely go straight into his worry mode.

And obviously, her attempts at emphasis were not sufficient.

His voice became strained and almost strangled, underneath all his usual control. "Are you alright? Where did you get hurt? What happened?"

"Sess!" Kagome laughed, ignoring the pangs of dull pain which were still coursing through her leg. "I'm well enough to call you personally, so don't worry. It's a small accident, really."

"Kagome. Tell me what happened."

"Umm…You see, I was at work when I saw an old lady standing around some bookshelves. It was then when I saw the encyclopedias on the topmost shelf look like they were above to fall over the edge, and-"

"You saved her and got hurt in the process." Sesshoumaru completed the rest of the sentence.

"…Yes." Kagome replied sheepishly. "I got a cut on the thigh."

"Kagome." Her name sounded almost scary from his lips.

She knew she was in for a long lecture; he always lectured her when she hurt herself badly in the past. There was a particular incident a few years back when a pregnant Kagome almost got knocked down by a car just because she wanted to help a cat which had somehow found its way onto the main road.

"I am s-" She opened her mouth to apologize, before being cut off by him.

"I'll be there in fifteen minutes."

_

* * *

To be continued…_

A/N: That was chapter 22! Though it seems like nothing major is going on for now, I promise, every bit that you're reading now is linked to the plot. I won't waste time by writing meaningless crap anyway, so hope you guys enjoyed this chapter too! Please review!


	23. Good News

Standard disclaimers apply.

A/N: You guys are fantastic! Which is why I have put up this chapter so quickly; it's your reward for reviewing. This chapter would most probably be a hot favorite for most readers after you're done with it, since it revolves around what most of you are waiting for. The story would be taking on a steady pace of happenings following this chapter, so please keep supporting it!

I just got back from a date! LOL. We ate at this very good Japanese restaurant (if you're Singaporean, it's at Marina Square, Azabu Sabo), and the desserts were just...wow. LOL. I overate! But I am feeling great about it. Alright, enough of my rantings.

Enjoy reading, and don't forget to drop a review!

**Title: Love after Loss**

**Chapter 23: Good News**

* * *

Sesshoumaru did not make her wait long at Kinokuniya, and thankfully for her, his concern overweighed his anxiety at her having gotten hurt, and she was spared the fate of having to listen to Sesshoumaru's very rare lectures. 

It was an experience that she never wanted to experience again. It was kind of funny to recall after that, but the process itself was a tad scary for her. He would just talk and talk, despite his usual icy exterior, while she could only nod and make promises, only to be freed when he considers that his points have made their way into her head.

From the driver's seat in the black Lexus, he reached over with one hand to hold hers tenderly. This lovely woman could be really brilliant when it came to work and other matters, but when she saw people in need, Kagome could indeed act very foolishly.

That was what made him love her and exasperated with her at the very same time.

"Does it hurt very badly?" He asked, referring to the temporarily bandaged wound on her thigh.

She reveled in this bit of tenderness from him, shaking her head in the meantime. "No, it doesn't…just hurts a little." The wound was still throbbing, and her leg felt oddly detached from her with all that bandages.

They came to a stop at the red traffic light, before he leaned over to pull her into a chaste, light kiss. The atmosphere in the car was relaxing, to the point of being soothing as he drove towards a nearby clinic. It was already 7.45pm.

"Then I'll kiss the rest of the pain away." He whispered against her lips.

They drew apart after a moment, smiling at each other.

"Now it doesn't even hurt." Kagome smiled up endearingly at Sesshoumaru, who just settled for looking at her with a tender gaze in those liquid gold eyes. "Maybe we don't have to go to the doctor's."

He shook his head like a parent educating his child. "No. We have to go, and I'll ask him to do a full body checkup for you."

"Would that be necessary?"

"Of course. The wound on the thigh is visible, but what if you suffered wounds somewhere inside?"

"Do I look like I am not alright?" Kagome gave him a big grin, which he did not return at all.

"Yes."

He used the classic Sesshoumaru tone which she knew refuting would not work on. Kagome made a little face, thankful for being shielded by the darkness of the car. "Hai." _(Yes.)_

"Good." He nodded in satisfaction with her answer.

He apparently did not notice her facial expression, so Kagome stuck out her tongue at him a second later before turning to look out of the car.

Sesshoumaru started the car when the traffic light turned green again.

"My dear, if you continue making those funny faces, you're going to get some wrinkles."

And to that, Kagome could only chuckle in defeat.

* * *

The doctor took his place across the desk, before scribbling something on Kagome's file. 

"Higurashi-san, do not let the wound come into contact with water for the whole of next week, and I would recommend you to come back for me to check on the wound then. Try to avoid seafood, for it might aggravate your cut and delay the healing."

Kagome nodded obediently, casting a glance at her thigh which now resembled a mummy, while Sesshoumaru sat silently by her side.

"And there's one more thing I think you should know." The doctor continued, looking up at Sesshoumaru and Kagome with a smile. "You are a month pregnant, Higurashi-san. Congratulations."

Her head snapped up to look at the doctor in surprise, before the doctor repeated patiently. "Yes, Miss Higurashi, you are pregnant."

Pregnant? At this point in her life?

Kagome felt as if someone had just whacked her over the head with a very, very, heavy object, while the word 'pregnant' just kept coursing through her mind, like a clip from a faulty tape. She took a deep breath, willing herself to calm down for rational thinking.

She was pregnant. There was a little life growing in her at that very moment. A month…wasn't that during the time when the condom broke?

It was no wonder that she had been feeling slightly nauseous on a few occasions in the morning, and dizzy spells sometimes. She thought she was simply tired from work, but it turned out that she was pregnant.

Through her shock, she could see Sesshoumaru smiling smugly to himself with manly pride.

He raised his eyes, and met hers, before she felt the corners of her mouth gradually turn up into a big grin. He was really happy, she could tell. His eyes were shining with a blinding joy. Why she was even scared in the first place? She had him with her, and that was more than sufficient.

"Thank you, doctor." They bowed politely, and shortly after, they exited the clinic. In her heart, she was still finding it pretty hard to accept the newly-found fact that she was pregnant with his child.

Kagome had hardly taken two steps from the entrance of the clinic when Sesshoumaru drew her into a tight, crushing embrace.

"Sess…" She whispered, before leaning into his warm embrace, finding security and comfort in his strong arms. His hold on her was strong but not at all uncomfortable, and Kagome thanked the gods above who granted them a second chance. They were about to become parents again, and this child would come as the proof of their renewed love for each other.

"Thank you…thank you so much…" He whispered into her faintly rose scented hair, while cradling her closely to himself.

She closed her eyes, listening to his steady heartbeat. He seldom thanked others in such a heartfelt manner, and right now, here he was, thanking her so sincerely. It made a few tears come to her eyes at the sound of his voice, and she only held on tighter to him, shaking her head.

"Silly boy…" She said endearingly, before tiptoeing to kiss him on the lips gently. "Why are you thanking me? This is our child…I should be thanking you as well. Rin will be ecstatic to hear the good news…she has always wanted a sibling."

They drew apart of the kiss, and for a few seconds, the blissful couple simply settled for looking into each others' eyes, telling each other of the love they felt without words.

Kagome broke the silence.

"You know, Sess…I've never have been happier."

Until he abruptly scooped her up, carrying her bridal style before spinning her in circles. Kagome gave a little shriek before laughing out loud, enjoying the feel of the wind against her face and the sheer joy that lingered between the two of them. Even if the world stopped now, she would not mind it at all. Not when she was with him.

"Be careful, Sess!" She chided amusingly, giving him a mock stern expression. "There's a baby growing in here."

She watched an expression of realization and worry mix in a priceless blend on Sesshoumaru's handsome face, before he hurriedly put her back down onto the ground, steadying her.

"You're right. I should be more careful." He said, before raising his finger the next second. "Which reminds me, Kagome. You will not be running around trying to save people from now on, alright?"

"But-" She opened her mouth to retort.

"No objections allowed. You are with child, and you just fell down so badly earlier on. What if somehow in the process of falling, our baby fell out along with you? You can't afford to fall down."

The way he put it amused her greatly, and Kagome tried to keep a straight face while she stubbornly said, "Your verdict is not satisfactory. I want to make an appeal, _your Honor_."

"No appeals will be entertained, and this hearing will not be adjourned. My verdict's final." He drawled in a slow, confident manner, watching her facial expressions the entire time. She looked really cute when she was annoyed.

She pouted, and with a small smile, answered obediently. "Yes, yes."

Sesshoumaru patted the top of her head like she was a little girl, before giving her a kiss on her cheek.

His phone suddenly rang, and throwing a glance at it, he saw that it was his secretary. He shoved his phone back into the back pocket of his pants, only to see Kagome looking at him with a questioning look in her eyes.

"Sess? Who is it?"

"My secretary." He answered truthfully, taking her hand in his as they walked towards their car in the car park. He did not say anything more.

Kagome kept silent for a moment as he slowly helped her down the stairs, before she suddenly paused in her steps. As if a light lit up in her head, she suddenly recalled his conversation with his secretary in the morning.

"Sess! Don't you have a meeting with Nishimoto-san at eight today?" She hurriedly fumbled around in her bag for her cell phone, before checking the clock on the screen. "It's already almost nine! You forgot about the meeting?"

"No, I didn't forget." He led her along gently, as if she was a porcelain doll.

Kagome refused to budge. "Then? What are you waiting for, Sess? Quick, give Nishimoto-san a call! Tell him to wait for awhile more!"

"If I go now, what about you?" He asked quietly.

"I'll be fine…don't worry. Just go, Sess, work is more important!"

"How can I leave you here alone? You are hurt, and with child now."

"But, Sess-"

"Kagome. You are more important than anything else."

And that made her insides feel all warm and tingly, but it failed to dispel the worry in her heart.

"Sess…" Kagome started, tugging on his arm gently. She was still worried for him, and it would be terrible if she knew she had caused him trouble.

"Don't worry. I know what to do."

She opened her mouth to say something, but nothing came out, and she quickly shut her mouth again. Sesshoumaru was never one to be underestimated, as Kagome knew from years of being with him both in the workplace and at home, and she should trust him. He is highly professional when it came to work, and the woman behind him, she should give him her fullest support in whatever choice he made.

His phone started ringing again, and at the eighth insistent ring, Sesshoumaru finally picked it up.

"Yes?"

Kagome cast a worried glance at the man by her side, watching as his brows furrowed ever so slightly in what seems to be worry.

He was listening intently, and only spoke up at the end. "Alright, help me thank Nishimoto-san. I will see him next Wednesday then."

Another pause, before Sesshoumaru spoke up again. "No, please change the day to Friday. My wife has to visit the doctor next Wednesday."

From her position beside him, Kagome saw how much he cared for her. He would remember so many details about her, even in the face of work.

What more can a girl ask for?

_

* * *

To be continued… _

A/N: Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! Yay! They are going to have a baby! I am really happy about this, and am now bubbling with ideas. LOL.

I also want to thank those of you who read my other Sess/Kag one shot "My Miracle". Thanks for making my fanfic-writing experience such a great one! I will continue writing!:)

Please review!


	24. Rin's crisis

Standard disclaimers apply.

A/N: Thank you everyone! You guys are just great…you never fail to sustain my interest in writing this particular story (this is my most popular story so far) and as your reward, here's chapter 24!

Chapter 24 is dedicated to Tana-san. I am so glad to hear from you, and I sincerely thank you for being my friend.

This chapter will take a twist from the previous few chapters (i.e. hardly any fluff and a lot of drama), but I hope you guys will like it nonetheless! I think most of you, like me, would feel a stab in your heart when you read this. Enjoy the reading and please do review!

**Title: Love after Loss**

**Chapter 24: Rin's crisis**

* * *

Kagome's lips curled up into a small, sweet smile as she walked down the spotlessly clean corridors of the pediatrics oncology wards, tightening her hold on the bento lunch box she has carefully holding in her hand. 

It was only last night that Sesshoumaru and she had found out that she was expecting, and both decided, the first to know and share this piece of good news would be none other than their very first child, Rin.

Recalling the tough days when she and Rin were living alone after the divorce, Kagome could almost hear Rin's sweet little voice questioning why she did not have siblings to play with. Her little girl was terribly lonely then, but now, Kagome thought with a smile, she would not be lonely for long.

Ever since she quit her job as the flyers distributor, Kagome was now able to devote her mornings and early afternoon to Rin, while working at the bookstore at night. It was a wise move, for her own mother need not make daily trips to the hospital, and Kagome also had more time with her little daughter now.

She wondered if Rin was awake; it was only eight in the morning. From some of the other wards along the way, Kagome had heard laughter and children voices. It would only be a while before she would get to hear her daughter's laughter too.

Thoughts of her little girl's joyous facial expression brought along more joy to Kagome herself as a mother, and she hoped Rin would like the bento she had so painstakingly prepared since five in the morning.

Last night before she went home, Kagome had made a trip to the supermarket to buy the ingredients needed for Rin's little surprise. There was fishcake in her favorite Hello Kitty design, and on top of the simple dish of stir-fried cabbage and teriyaki chicken, Kagome had also prepared mushroom rice. She hoped this would whet Rin's appetite; her little girl did not like plain white rice.

Her footsteps echoed in the long corridor, while she came closer and closer to the door which would lead her through to Rin. What would Rin say to having a new little brother or sisiter? Unable to hide the broadening smile on her face, Kagome turned in right to enter the ward, only to scoot aside hurriedly when a nurse ran out of the ward urgently, almost knocking into her, sprinting as fast as she could in the direction of the doctors' office.

Kagome looked in the direction after the nurse's footsteps, her brow creasing slightly in confusion.

What could it be that is so urgent? The nurse did not even apologize when she almost crashed into Kagome. But the nurse looked so familiar from behind as she ran...

Iena-san.

She was the nurse assigned primarily to Rin in the cancer ward. The familiar ponytail tied up with the Hello Kitty band which Rin gave to her was all Kagome needed to confirm that it was indeed Iena-san.

If the young nurse was running so frantically to call the doctor…an ominous, drowning feeling overcame Kagome, like someone had just dipped her under ice cold water and held her tightly in place there…

"Rin…" Kagome whispered her daughter's name, hoping that she would be proven wrong.

However, taking a few almost unsteady steps into the ward, her worst fears were confirmed.

On the bed at the corner of the room, where she had spent so much time decorating and making it more comfortable for Rin, was none other than her little girl. Only that instead of seeing the familiar sight of her daughter smiling and waving to her like almost every morning so far, Kagome was greeted with the horrifying sight of Rin writhing and making strangled, gurgling sounds from her throat while she tossed and turned with what seems to be intense pain. Over on the bed by Rin's side, little Ai-chan was sobbing as she watched her friend cried in pain, her watery eyes fixed on Rin.

"Rin-chan, Rin-chan, shikkari shite!"_ (Rin-chan, Rin-chan, hang in there!)_

The other nurse assigned to Ai-chan, Saori, was by the bedside, holding Rin's hand tightly, while running her palm over Rin's head and calling her name to calm her down. The young nurse's head snapped up when a loud crash was heard.

Contents of the bento lunch box which she had spent so much time preparing lay strewn over the originally clean floor, while Kagome's eyes widened in shock at the sight before her. It was such a horrible sight to see her child in so much agony, and in that momentary shock and wave of intense sadness that washed over her, Kagome had dropped the bento box.

The fragrance of the spilled food was mixed in a nauseating blend with the antiseptic stench.

"Rin!" Anxiety overcame her earlier shock, and Kagome hurriedly sprinted over to her little girl's bedside, holding her other hand tightly. Her hand felt so cold and clammy to the touch, and if it wasn't for the fact that the little hand was so tensed underneath with pain, Kagome would have said it felt lifeless.

"Mama…" Rin called out weakly, before crying out loud in pain again. Her little toes were scrunched up tightly, and her body was hit with spasms as the pain coursed through her tiny frame.

"Rin…doushita no? Doko ga itai? Mama ni oshiete!" _(Rin…what happened? Where does it hurt? Tell Mommy!)_

When she did not get a response from Rin, Kagome anxiously turned to the nurse by Rin's side.

"Saori-san, what happened to her? Why is she in so much pain? She was still fine yesterday!"

"Higurashi-san," The young nurse was being as calm as she could manage in the situation, and she had to raise her voice a little for Kagome to hear her over Rin's cries. "This is abdominal distress which leukemia patients experience sometimes, and…and…"

"And what? Please tell me, Saori-san!" Kagome was frantic by now, feeling the nausea induced by fear rise up in her gut in waves. The roof of her mouth was dry, and it was almost getting hard to speak. She choked back a sob when Rin's grip on her hand tightened, and through her daughter's desperate grip, Kagome could almost experience the intense pain she felt.

"I am not too sure about this, but from my experience, this…this does not bode well. The fact that Rin-chan is experiencing abdominal pain most probably means…it means that the cancer cells have spread…and they are affecting her organs such as her kidney, liver and spleen. It causes enlargement of the organs, and this is why the patient feels the pain…"

The cancer cells have spread…they have spread again…

It was as if her blood suddenly turned into ice.

At the phrase "the cancer cells have spread", Kagome was already no longer able to hear anything. The heaviness of her heart almost became too much to bear, while watching Rin curl up into a small ball with the intense pain in her middle, Kagome felt the prickling of tears behind her eyes.

She felt so cold, so tired, so scared…

"Mama…Saori nee-chan…itai no…" _(Mommy…big sister Saori…it hurts…)_

Why Rin? Why did it have to be her? Other children at five could happily run about at playgrounds, go to school, and live at home, but not her child.

Life was so, so terribly unfair.

She was Rin's mother, but she could not do anything. All she could do was hold on to Rin's little hand, trying to offer comfort in this little way. This was enough to make Kagome feel useless and helpless at the same time. There really was nothing else she could do for her little girl.

"Rin-chan, don't worry, don't be scared…Nakatani sensei is coming over now…You will be alright, you will be alright…" Saori repeated over and over again as Rin continued thrashing about in pain.

Urgent footsteps could be heard from behind her as Dr. Nakatani's calm, collected voice cut through the haze of confusion and worry in Kagome's mind. "Miss Higurashi, please."

Kagome hurriedly released her hold on Rin's hand, stepping aside for the experienced doctor to check on her daughter.

Pressing his hand on her abdominal area, the doctor felt around before turning to the nurse, Iena, by his side.

"Iena-san, onegaishimasu." (Iena-san, please.)

"Hai!" The young nurse quickly prepared the syringe that was needed, for what Kagome knew instinctively was a strong dosage of painkillers, while Saori helped the doctor with pulling Rin's pajamas top up to reveal her abdomen.

"Higurashi-san," The doctor turned to a helpless Kagome, reassuring her with a calm facial expression. Even in the face of such a situation, the doctor's professionalism did not waver a single bit. "I will be administering a dosage of diamorphine for Rin, just under the skin of her abdominal area to relieve the pain."

Kagome nodded frantically, not knowing what else she could do or say in such a situation. The only thing she knew was that she wanted her little girl to be out of this misery as soon as possible.

"Rin, look at Mommy, look at Mommy…" Kagome turned her daughter's face towards her, for fear of letting Rin see the needle enter. The little girl's face was frozen in a mask of pain and fear, while those pretty doe eyes were watery and red-rimmed from crying earlier on. She was still hurting badly, for even as she looked at Kagome, her small mouth was set in a firm line, evidence of her gritting her teeth in pain.

It was her eyes, however, that haunted Kagome.

They looked pleading, as if begging for Kagome to save her, to protect her from all the pain which she was suffering alone. Rin was only five, but she was already relying heavily on morphine as a painkiller.

"Mama…"

"Shhh…It will be alright, darling. It will be alright."

Kagome hastily ran the back of her hand across her own dampening eyes; she cannot cry, she should not cry, not in front of Rin. Her daughter was already so scared, and as the parent, displays of fear and weakness would only make the child feel worse.

Gripping Rin's hand, Kagome felt the small, clammy hand tense instinctively to the feeling of the needle entering her abdomen just underneath the skin. Kagome did not look in the direction of the doctor and nurses; she knew she would not be able to look on without crying. Instead, she settled for smiling at Rin, albeit forcedly, counting down desperately in her heart until the hand in her grip relaxed. It seemed like ages before it did.

The diamorphine had taken effect, and the intense pain subsided.

"Rin-chan, are you feeling better?" Dr. Nakatani asked kindly, leaning over the bed to smile at Rin.

The little girl nodded weakly, her face appearing as if it was drained of all the blood. "Y-Yes."

"Thank you, doctor." Kagome thanked the doctor in a soft voice. She took a few deep breaths, trying to recover from the shock she just had.

Dr. Nakatani shook his head, before motioning for Kagome to follow him out of the ward. The nurses got the hint and immediately started to distract Rin with conversations, while Kagome walked after the doctor to go out to the corridor. He cleared his throat, and she stilled herself for the negative news that was about to come. Somehow, somewhere in time, she had gotten accustomed to receiving bad news.

"Higurashi-san…Rin-" He started, only to get interrupted by Kagome.

"Her condition's worsening, isn't it, sensei?" Talking about the sudden problem at hand only managed to make the rising wave of tears return. "What are we going to do?"

"Yes…I will not hide the truth from you. Her condition is indeed worsening. The cancer cells have spread to her vital organs, and the fact that she was in pain indicated that the cells in her organs are undergoing the exaggerated and uncontrolled mitosis, resulting in enlargement and hence abdominal distress." Dr. Nakatani explained patiently, while Kagome closed her eyes before two tears slipped down her cheeks.

"We will increase the dosage of chemotherapy drugs for now, and in order to prevent her cancer cells from showing maturation from being myelogenic in nature, I would try a new combination of drugs. For her vital organs, I will put her on a radiotherapy treatment course to concentrate on those certain areas. We must prevent the cancer cells from spreading too far, especially to the spinal cord and the brain, or…or…"

"She will die?" Kagome whispered, the dreaded words leaving her lips like a ghostly breath.

Dr. Nakatani's eyes met Kagome's, and from his eyes, she saw the naked truth revealed in there.

"For the lack of a better word…I am afraid so, Miss Higurashi. The situation will be very hard to control if the cancerous cells were to spread to that extent." The doctor said grimly.

"But…But she cannot die! She's just five…" Kagome cried, her hands clenched tightly. "Please save her…please save her…I really cannot do without her. I only just found out that I am pregnant…the baby deserves to have its sibling too! My family is becoming whole again…we cannot lose Rin now!"

"I will do my best, Miss Higurashi. I am fond of Rin-chan too; she's a very good little girl, and I also want to see her lead the life she deserves."

Kagome sniffled and nodded; she was feeling so miserable inside, she felt as if she would just die. Hearing of all the horrible treatment processes that await Rin only made her fear more than ever.

"Please, sensei…please do all you can."

"I will, Miss Higurashi…" The doctor reassured her, before adding in a soft voice. "And congratulations on your pregnancy."

Kagome nodded in acknowledgement, feeling the sadness rise in a wave once again. It was depressing, really.

She was initially basking in the joy of having a new baby, yet Rin had to face such a horrible crisis, sweeping all the joy away. What if she died? The possibility exists, even if it seems so absurd at the very same time.

Can they ever go back to leading a normal life? It simply seems impossible for now.

_

* * *

To be continued… _

A/N: Poor Rin! It's really quite cruel to make her so sick, but it's all for the story! Please try to bear with me, and I will see you guys in the upcoming chapter! I will not be updating too soon, for I have some school work which has to be done.

Oh, and just to share a little tip with those of you girls who use whitening products. If you haven't, you should try using Estee Lauder's 'Cyberwhite' toner! It works wonders. And there's this Japanese brand by Sana Group, which has this series made from organic soya bean isoflavone. It's a cheaper alternative and works just about as good. (in my opinion, that is)

Alright, that's enough for now. Please review, and till the next update, take care!


	25. Will you forget Rin?

Standard disclaimers apply.

A/N: Here's chapter 25! I –dodges flying darts- hope you guys enjoyed chapter 24! LOL. From some of your reviews, I could not help but feel like a wicked witch! Maybe I should be a little nicer to Rin, but hey! That would take the drama out of the story. Besides, cancer is really that scary…the abdominal distress part was based on my true experience while I was doing voluntary work at a local hospital at the children's cancer ward.

Chapter 25 would show more of their bond as a family, and all I can say is "Kleenex Alert"! It gets better towards the end, as the parents share their good news with Rin.

Enjoy the story, I hope it is still realistic and nice to read for all of you, and do review!

**Title: Love after Loss**

**Chapter 25: Will you forget Rin?**

* * *

Sesshoumaru hurriedly reversed his car into the parking lot, his breathing almost erratic with the mounting anxiety. His face was kept in its usual stoic mask, but his heart was immersed in unbearable fear.

The clock read 2.36pm.

Just 50 minutes ago during a video conference meeting with Nishimoto, he had received a call from a crying Kagome, telling him of Rin's rapidly worsening condition. The cancer cells had apparently spread to her vital organs and in this race against time, Rin was clearly not having the upper hand.

His heart ached when he heard about the abdominal distress and the morphine she had to take to keep the pain under control. In the past, he did not feel much when he read about cancer as an illness, but now that it happened to his very own daughter, Sesshoumaru felt the raw, intense anguish that only a father could feel. He just got his family back, and he never wanted to lose them again.

Stepping out of his black Lexus, Sesshoumaru locked the car and sprinted to the elevator on the car park basement level, keeping his eyes fixed on the screen above until the numbers read "B1". The doors opened, and he stepped in immediately, pressing the button for the pediatrics level and hitting the "close" button for the doors to shut repeatedly, as if he could hurry the elevator in that way. After what seems like the longest wait of his life, the elevator reached its destination with a familiar 'ding'.

The doors opened to reveal the corridor which he had just grown so accustomed to seeing. Sesshoumaru ran as fast as he could along the clean corridor, desperate to reach his family as soon as possible. The soles of his leather shoes squeaked occasionally against the linoleum.

Rin's sweet face and Kagome's tears were calling upon him to reach them, to dispel their fears, to tell them everything would be alright.

He continued running and running, until he came to a stop at the doorway to Rin's ward. Looking in, he could see Kagome singing a song with Rin, looking at the lyrics booklet of another Hamasaki Ayumi CD. As if she sensed him there, Kagome raised her head, before smiling a sad smile at him, while his little girl, looking pale and emaciated, raised a hand weakly to wave to him.

He strode in quickly, before coming to Rin's bedside.

Her little face was set in a big smile which did not shine at all through the suffering she was going through. "Daddy…"

She did not get to say what she wanted to; for Sesshoumaru instinctively leaned down to embrace her fully in his arms. She felt so weak, so fragile…brittle, even. Just like a doll made entirely of glass. How he wished they could return to the times when she was still a healthy little toddler of almost two, running around on unsteady legs in the vibrant sunshine, while the sunshine shone upon her beautiful raven locks.

Kagome watched the interaction between father and child, and she smiled despite the pain lingering so heavily in the atmosphere around them.

He did not say a word to Rin, and after holding her tightly to himself for a while, Sesshoumaru released his hold on her. He sat down on the chair by the bedside, before asking, "So what were you doing with Mommy before this, Rin?"

"Mommy was singing to Rin. She was singing the song "Heaven" by Ayu-chan."

Kagome nodded, smiling tenderly at Rin before her red-rimmed eyes met Sesshoumaru's. Through the still air that separated them, he could clearly see her distress. He gave her a reassuring nod, which she returned. She did not want him to worry any more than he should; Rin's illness was more than enough, he did not need more problems on his hands.

"Can Mommy continue singing the song?" Rin asked softly, turning to face Kagome. Her usually saccharine sweet voice was weak, breathy and soft.

"Yes, of course." Kagome hurriedly pulled her chair closer to the bedside, leaning slightly so Rin could see the lyrics as well before she continued singing from where she ended off earlier on.

「そばにいて愛する人

時を越えて形を変えて

二人まだ見ぬ未来がここに

残ってるから信じて

愛する人私の中で

君は生きる

だからこれから

先もずっと

サヨナラなんて言わない」

_**(Be by my side, the one I love**_

**_We will cross time; we will change in form_**

_**The future we have yet to see is right here**_

**_There's still so much of it left, and hence I believe_**

_**The one I love, you will always live inside my heart**_

_**Hence from this moment on, **_

_**never will I ever say goodbye)**_

「あの日きっと二人は愛に触れた」

**_(On that day, the two of us were indeed touched by love)_**

Kagome finished the song, her voice quivering towards the end, while Rin took a deep, almost wheezing breath.

The little girl reached out and tugged gently on Kagome's hand, and at a questioning look from Kagome, she spoke up.

「りんもずっとママの中に生きるのね？りんがいなくなっても、ね？」

_(Rin mo zutto mama no naka ni ikuru no ne? Rin ga inaku nattemo, ne?)_

_(Rin will always live in Mommy's heart right? Even if Rin is gone, right?)_

Kagome's eyes widened at Rin's words, before her eyes involuntarily filled up with burning tears again, causing her beautiful eyes to sparkle with sadness. By the other side of the bed, Sesshoumaru closed his eyes and looked at the back of their daughter's head. It felt like someone was dragging a knife through his heart.

「な、何言ってるの、りん？ずっとここにちゃんと生きるの！こんな変なこと言わないで、ママには怖いよ！」

_(Na, nani ni itteru no, Rin? Zutto kokoni chanto ikiru no! Konna hen na koto iwanaide, mama niwa kowai yo!)_

_(Wh-What are you talking about, Rin? You will always be living here properly! Don't say such weird things…you're scaring Mommy!)_

Tears slipped down Kagome's face as she spoke in a choked voice, while her quivering hand gently brushed the remaining hair away from Rin's pale face, feeling the cold, soft skin underneath the pads of her fingers.

"But…Rin also thought Dai-kun would be okay, but…but he is gone too." The little girl recalled the eight year-old boy who shared the ward. He had leukemia like she did, but unfortunately, had passed away two weeks ago. "Iena nee-san told me he went to a better place."

"What happened to Dai-kun will not happen to you, Rin." Kagome hurriedly reassured her.

Despite her tender age, Rin looked apprehensive. In that instant, Kagome realized that cancer had not only taken her health and freedom away; it had also taken the innocence in her daughter's heart. On the blank piece of paper which was initially Rin's pure soul, were now black marks marring the pristine purity.

"Rin is scared, Mommy. Rin doesn't want to go to the 'better place'. Rin wants to stay here with you and Daddy." Her little hand reached out for Sesshoumaru's, and he hurriedly grabbed hold of it in his larger hands, rubbing warmth into hers.

"Rin, come, listen to Daddy." He cupped the little girl's cheek, gently easing her into a position facing him. Kagome was by now, crying silently and uncontrollably by the side as she looked out of the window. Her shoulders were shaking, evidence of her trying desperately to hold in the wracking sobs that were threatening to spill. Sesshoumaru's heart ached to see both the females he loved so much suffer, and he wished he could do more. For the very first time in his life, Taisho Sesshoumaru felt useless and helpless.

Sesshoumaru leaned closer to Rin, looking into those beautiful eyes which resemble Kagome's so much, before saying seriously, "Daddy will not let anything happen to you. Daddy will protect you."

Rin smiled a weak, tired smile at the man who was the super hero of her life. As long as her Daddy was around, she would have nothing to fear. "What about the bad, bad little monsters in Rin?"

"We will fight them together. We will get rid of them one by one, until not a single one is left." Sesshoumaru continued, watching radiance once again returning to take its place on his daughter's face as he talked about combating the cancer cells.

"Really? I can do that?"

"Of course. You are this Sesshoumaru's daughter! Is there anything you cannot do?" He made himself sound a little booming and pompous, while Rin giggled in response to her father's attempts to cheer her up.

"So when Rin gets better, will Daddy bring Rin to school? And pick Rin up after that?" She asked. "I want to show my teacher and classmates who my Daddy is. The children there said Rin has no daddy, and Rin told teacher that only Mommy would pick Rin up."

That sent another stab through Sesshoumaru's heart for what seemed like the millionth time that day. He did not know his little girl suffered so much, even without the illness.

"Daddy will bring you to school everyday, together with Mommy. Daddy will make bento boxes for Rin to bring to school every morning."

"But that is Mommy's job!" Rin's eyes widened at the idea of her usually stoic, well-dressed father preparing a kiddy bento lunch box. "Daddy knows how to cook?"

Sesshoumaru smiled at his daughter's adorable facial expression. "You can ask Mommy." He said pointedly, before dropping his voice to a loud, audible whisper. "Daddy cooks better than she can."

That elicited laughter from the little girl and an amused sniffle from Kagome. Rin's giggles gradually died down, and her childish face once again turned serious.

"But if Rin goes away like Dai-kun did, will Daddy forget Rin?"

Sesshoumaru's smile faded from his face as he heard her words, before he regarded the little child looking back at him with a calm expression on her face.

"I will never forget you, Rin. You will always be Daddy's best little girl." He promised her, before giving her a small smile. "Hey…Did Mommy tell you the good news?"

"What news?" Rin asked curiously, before Kagome spoke up, dabbing at the tears left in the corners of her eyes.

"Oh! How forgetful of Mommy…" She smiled broadly, shaking her head as she once again sat down closer to Rin, slipping her hand into Sesshoumaru's as she did.

He inclined his head towards Rin, indicating for Kagome to break the good news.

Kagome shook her head with a smile, tilting her head back in Sesshoumaru's direction.

He narrowed his eyes at her playfully, before nodding and turning to the confused little girl.

"Rin…Daddy and Mommy have good news to share with you."

"What is it?"

"Mommy is going to have a baby, so Rin is going to be a big sister." Sesshoumaru explained slowly as Rin's eyes widened with surprise. "There's a baby growing in Mommy now."

"So Rin is going to have a little baby to play with?" She asked, as if unsure about what she just heard.

"Yes, darling." Kagome smiled at Rin's obvious delight in hearing the good news. Contrary to her earlier fears that Rin might feel left out or threatened by the arrival of a new child, Rin was taking the news wonderfully.

"Is it a brother? Or is it a sister?" The little girl asked, her eyes fixed on Kagome's middle.

"It's too early to know, Rin." The amused mother laughed, stroking Rin's hair gently, while Sesshoumaru looked on with a tender expression in his eyes.

"Can I ask?" Rin asked Sesshoumaru endearingly, while Kagome got what she was referring to and stood up with a laugh, leaning in even closer to the bed.

"Sure, darling."

Sesshoumaru helped Rin up into a comfortable sitting position, before the excited child pressed her ear to Kagome's still flat middle. The smile on her little face was a stark contrast to the physical fatigue displayed.

Rin drew apart from Kagome's middle, before cupping her hands around her mouth like a megaphone and whispered loudly. "Can you tell Rin if you are a brother or a sister?"

Smiling at the little girl's adorable antics, Kagome and Sesshoumaru's eyes met in that instant. He looked up from his sitting position into her eyes, and through those orbs of molten gold, she once again found strength, the strength only he was capable of providing her with.

She nodded with determination back at him, looking down at the little child leaning gently against her, while they simply let themselves evade the grief for a moment to bask in some much needed family warmth.

_

* * *

To be continued…_

A/N: I don't know if you guys liked the blend of angst and joy in the very same chapter, but personally, I liked the way it gave the story a little dilemma regarding the emotions our characters feel. The emotions we feel as individuals do not usually come alone, hence I thought it might make it more realistic, if we can have the characters experiencing both the bed of roses and crown of thorns in life.

A big thank you to those who nominated this story for the awards on "A Single Spark"! I am really very flattered; this is my first fic on the site, and your overwhelming support is really very much appreciated. Thank you once again, and I hope to bring you even nicer stories in future on top of this one.

Please review!


	26. Gratitude and Trouble

Standard disclaimers apply.

A/N: I apologize for the late update…I am so caught up with work and deadlines. Thank goodness I only have one more to go, and then I'll be ready to prepare for my exams.

We are already at chapter 26! This has got to be the longest story I've written. Thank you to all those who reviewed; I was pretty shocked with the reactions to Rin's problem. And that problem is only the beginning, according to my story plan. Oh no. I can envision flames coming later. LOL.

Enjoy the new chapter and please do review! Pay attention to the start of this chapter as well; it is not a filler chapter.

**Title: Love after Loss**

**Chapter 26: Gratitude and Trouble**

* * *

"Excuse me, but I can know where this book can be found?" 

Kagome took the piece of paper with the book title from the customer, before directing him in the way to the scientific research books section.

"It's over there in the science section, sir. Should you encounter further problems with finding the exact book, please feel free to ask for assistance from any of our staff around there."

"Sure, thank you very much."

Kagome smiled and bowed as the customer bowed his thanks, striding away in the direction in which she pointed him to. It was almost six, and the bookstore was not as crowded as in the evening. This was Kagome's favorite time slot at work, on top of the fact that her meal break would be in just about ten minutes time.

"Higurashi-san?" An old, kindly voice came from behind her, while Kagome hurriedly turned around. Her eyes widened with recognition as she saw the old lady whom she had saved from the falling books just five days ago.

"Obaachan, good afternoon. What brings you here today?" She asked politely.

_(A/N: Obaachan refers to 'grandma'. It is a way of showing respect for elderly even when they are not one's biological grandparent.)_

"I want to thank you, Higurashi-san, for saving my life that day. I hope you don't mind that I found out your name from your colleagues." The old lady started, before producing a nicely-wrapped box from the paper bag she was holding. "I hope you can accept this humble gift. Thank you very much once again."

"Oh no, please don't mention it. And as for helping you, I am sure many others in the same position as I was in would have done the same. Don't worry about it." Kagome replied, watching as the old lady's eyes trailed down to her still bandaged thigh.

Kagome's wound was gradually healing, but due to the cut being deep, it was occasionally painful, especially when she had to kneel down, squat or run.

"You have a heart of gold, my child, being so willing to help at the expense of your own safety." The old lady smiled. "I am Kaede, Miss Higurashi. Please accept this gift; I bought it specially."

"Very well. Kaede obaachan, please call me Kagome." She replied as she took the box, before casting a glance at her watch. "It will be dinner break soon; would you like to join me? I do know of a great ramen shop around here."

"That would be my pleasure."

* * *

The two steaming bowls of miso ramen came to be placed in front of the two occupants of the table by the side of the small ramen shop, and with a customary "ittadakimasu", both picked up their chopsticks to start on dinner. In the cozy interior of the small shop, the warmth from the soup of the ramen only helped brightened Kagome's gloomy mood for the past few days. 

"So, how do you find the food here?" Kagome asked, in a bid to start up another conversation. She had already begun to like the kindly old lady, who was not only nice but also wise, from what she could gather from their earlier conversations along the way.

"It's really good, Kagome-chan. I am glad you brought me here to try the food." The old lady smiled.

"I knew you'll like it; my daughter loves the miso ramen here too."

Kaede's features were lit up with interest when Kagome mentioned her daughter. "You have a daughter, Kagome-chan?"

"Yes. Her name is Rin, and she's already five." Kagome replied.

"She must be a very lovely child…Please do introduce me to her someday." The old lady said, in the typical way when people talked about young children.

"I am afraid that's not possible, obaachan." Kagome explained apologetically, her eyes clouding over with a light haze of sadness. "You see, Rin's currently hospitalized…and I am not so sure when she's going to be discharged."

"Hospitalized? If you don't mind me asking, what happened to her?" Kaede's concern was evident in her voice.

"She has leukemia, or more specifically, acute myelogenous leukemia."

The old lady's lips parted slightly with shock and empathy, before she asked, "Is her condition well?"

Kagome smiled bitterly and shook her head. "Not so good; she is responding very poorly to the chemotherapy and radiotherapy treatments. The doctor told us; her best chances of surviving are in receiving a bone marrow transplant."

A nod from Kaede prompted Kagome to continue.

"However, it is easier said than done. I am not a match, and neither is my husband, nor our family members on both sides. The closest we have got to is a half-match, and while that is sufficient for some other types of transplants, it is not sufficient for a bone marrow one. My brother-in-law in Shanghai is also helping us search actively for a suitable match…but till today, we are still unable to find one."

Kagome took a deep breath. It was never easy to talk about Rin and the illness. "Now, my only hope lies in the growing child in me. Siblings have a higher chance of being compatible in their HLA tissue types, and I pray this baby can save its sister. If not…if not…Rin will really die."

"That's just terrible, Kagome-chan." Kaede said in a soft voice. "Please allow me to help. I will go for test to see if I can help your daughter, and I will ask my family members to do so as well. My grandson, especially. He is a very good-hearted young man."

Kagome nodded in gratitude. "Thank you so much…"

"Please don't say that; you helped me, Kagome-chan. One good turn deserves another, and I believe your daughter will recover from this horrible disease."

Looking at the old woman and appreciating the kindness and concern that shone through those wizened eyes, Kagome smiled, once again reassuring herself of the hope that she should hold on to.

"Thank you."

* * *

"Sesshoumaru-sama! Sesshoumaru-sama!" 

The annoying voice from the other side of the door cut into his thoughts, while Sesshoumaru hurriedly pulled down the internet page with the article titled "How to eat healthy during your pregnancy". Ever since they had found out about Kagome's pregnancy, he had been devoting his time to researching more on pregnancy, healthy foods, supplements, psychology and also spending more time with Rin to give Kagome more time to rest.

"Enter, Jaken."

The door to his office swiftly opened as the short, wrinkled old man ran forward to place what seemed like an official letter on Sesshoumaru's teak desk. On the document, Sesshoumaru could clearly see Nishimoto's logo.

"What's the meaning of-" He started in a cold, bored tone, looking up from the logo into Jaken's old prune-like face, which was now twisted into a very ugly mask of panic.

"Please read it, Sesshoumaru-sama…this is urgent! It is of utmost importance!" Beads of perspiration were dotting Jaken's wrinkled forehead, while Sesshoumaru cast one more annoyed look at him before lowering his eyes down onto the document set in front of him.

It was addressed to him. Scanning the formal document, his blood froze over.

A chill ran down Sesshoumaru's spine when he saw the words "I regret to inform-". It made him close his eyes and shake his head, hoping it was his eyes playing a joke on him.

"Sesshoumaru-sama! I am truly sorry about this…it must be this lowly one's fault that we did not manage to clinch the deal-"

"Jaken. Silence." It was getting almost hard to think clearly.

Nishimoto wanted to call off the business dealings with Taisho Holdings while they were still in the talks.

Through the shock and the drowning feeling of trouble, along with as much as he wished to deny vehemently, Sesshoumaru knew the reasons why.

His father had always taught him since he was a young boy that credibility and responsibility counts the most in doing business, and because of his personal issues, he had neglected his work. He was overconfident about clinching the deal for Taisho Holdings, and had taken the liberty of standing Nishimoto-san up on more than one occasion, convinced of his impending success.

But when faced with leaving Kagome alone outside at the clinic that night, especially when she was hurt, he knew deep in his heart, he would still choose to stand Nishimoto-san up. He could not bear the thought of leaving her there and going off to some fancy formal dinner alone, despite it was work that they were talking about.

He lost her because of work three years ago; he wasn't about to do it again. But now, the balance had tipped over, and because of her, he was losing his work.

That was the first time he cancelled an important meeting, following another few times, while the final one was when he received a call on his cell phone from Kagome during a conference with Nishimoto. The woman he loved so dearly was sobbing almost hysterically over the phone as she shakily told him how their little daughter's condition had worsened, how the cancer cells had spread to her other organs and how she had to depend on diamorphine.

He was at a loss of what to do then; Kagome sounded so scared and helpless over the phone, while the meeting was conducted halfway. It had already been impolite enough to pick up his cell phone during a conference, and even worse when he hastily excused himself without further explanations. He was after all, the chairperson of the conference.

He had displayed no sincerity at all.

Jaken was left alone to chair the meeting. But thinking of Rin and Kagome alone at the hospital, Sesshoumaru needed no more consideration as to which choice he would make.

"It must be this lowly one's fault…Sesshoumaru-sama-"

"Jaken. This is not your fault." Sesshoumaru interrupted through gritted teeth. Through the ranting of his subordinate, he was feeling a helpless feeling of frustration, dread and also regrets bubbling up in him.

How could he have been so careless?

The old man's incoherent ranting ceased instantly, while Sesshoumaru continued scanning the document, forcing his own mind to stay calm and think carefully in such a situation. If his father found out about this; he would most probably get a heart attack.

Nishimoto stated other reasons for the calling off of the business dealings, and among those, it was stated that Kurotani Holdings offered better terms and conditions than Taisho Holdings did.

Kurotani Holdings…Kurotani Naraku.

Sesshoumaru knew what was happening in an instant. This was a plot by that cad. Naraku's quick response to intercept at this juncture and snatch this business dealing right under Sesshoumaru's nose could not possibly be a coincidence. He knew that man too well. Naraku was perfectly capable of doing something so underhand and so low.

Naraku used to be an employee of Taisho Holdings, until he attempted to embezzle funds for his own selfish gains. Sesshoumaru was the one who suspected him and reported it to his father. Since Naraku did not succeed in the embezzlement, and there was simply insufficient evidence to clap him into jail with a long jail term, Naraku was simply dismissed from his job and jailed for a mere four years.

That happened ten years ago, but Sesshoumaru knew time did not lessen Naraku's hate and desire for revenge on him. Now he was back with his own holding company, and from the direction of how things were going, it was only too obvious – Naraku was out for revenge on Sesshoumaru.

"Kurotani Naraku." Sesshoumaru said simply, seething with rage. He would not allow that lowly creature to get his way.

Jaken appeared momentarily stunned at the mention of that name, after all, it had been almost a decade since that the incident. It had been forgotten, but apparently not by all. The cunning man was back to wreak havoc once again.

Looking with widened eyes, he looked helplessly at his young CEO, whose usual stoic face was fixed in a, if possible, even more stoic mask laced with anger.

Sesshoumaru reached over to pick over his phone, before dialing a number which he found in a file in his drawer.

He was beyond furious; losing the deal was bad enough, not to mention it was to Naraku. It was a double blow for him, not only at work but also on a personal level.

The phone was picked up.

"What's the meaning of this?" He did not even bother to greet.

"My, my…Sesshoumaru-sama. I am pleasantly surprised that you'd choose to give me the honor of receiving a call from yo-"

"Cut the crap," Sesshoumaru seethed. "Naraku."

"You break my heart, Sesshoumaru-sama." Naraku drawled lazily in an annoying tone. "Is that a way to talk to your former employee? It's been so long…I am once again surprised you remember my name, Sesshoumaru-sama."

"Answer my question."

"I am simply taking back what you took from me. You can only blame yourself for not being more cautious with this excellent deal. I have to thank you, in fact." The voice over the line was lowered to being almost menacing. "Besides, I might take more though, if it pleases me."

Something about his tone was not right. "What are you implying?"

"I do know your ex-wife is a beauty…" Naraku drawled.

"You leave Kagome out of this, you despicable vermin." The mention of Kagome's beautiful name from Naraku's filthy lips made Sesshoumaru want to hit something.

"Uh-huh…Sesshoumaru-sama, don't lose your cool. If I were you, I'd watch my words. You wouldn't wish to receive a slander lawsuit, would you?"

"Don't you dare involve Kagome." Sesshoumaru hissed. Rage was coursing in his blood like a drug, numbing everything in its wake. "I won't be easy to deal with if you try to harm her in any way."

"Oh my…she's only your ex-wife…you are not married to her anymore. Now, I wonder how she will be in bed…screaming my name-"

Sesshoumaru slammed the phone down, staring at the device with narrowed eyes as he breathed hard for control over his raging emotions.

How did everything escalate into such a horrible mess?

_

* * *

To be continued… _

A/N: Now you guys see the plot eh? Major plot twist with new characters! What will happen? But for those who are fretting, don't worry, I don't intend for Naraku to do anything nasty to Kagome. He is simply trying to antagonize Sesshoumaru with his vile words.

Please keep supporting this story to see how it will turn out in the end! For those who voted for this story on "A Single Spark", thank you very much once again! I am really very pleasantly surprised, and knowing of your support is even better than receiving an actual award.

Do review to let me know what you think!


	27. Let me share

Standard disclaimers apply.

A/N: Thank you to all those who reviewed! I love you guys! I am very glad you enjoyed the twist. Our beloved Fluffums is indeed in some big trouble here, especially when this is supposedly the greatest turning point of his career (as stated earlier on in the story). In this chapter, we will see, which I believe is something quite rare, Sesshoumaru confiding in Kagome about his problems. However, his over-protectiveness from the past still seems to linger around. How will they start to work their problems out in this huge blend of differing ideas, attitudes, perspectives and styles?

I don't know if I will end up making both of them big OOC messes, but I'll try my best to write this chapter! It'll help if you tell me what you feel about it! Ok, here I go, and do enjoy the story!

And to answer some of you who asked, yes, I do my own beta work as I write along. Not that I don't need a beta; it's just that I like to be responsible for my own work.

**Title: Love after Loss**

**Chapter 27: Let me share**

* * *

"Daddy…Daddy…" 

There was no response.

"Daddy…" The little girl lying on the bed called out softly again, while Kagome's brows knitted in a frown. Rin had been calling out to Sesshoumaru for at least three times…surely he would have heard her?

Looking at Sesshoumaru sitting opposite of her across the bed, staring at nowhere in particular, Kagome saw that his usually bright, intelligent eyes of sunny gold were dulled to being a subdued amber color, as if someone had placed a veil over his vision. He was spacing out, and while it might be something very normal for Kagome, it was something very abnormal for Sesshoumaru.

Something was bothering him…or it could be that he was just plain tired from work. Whatever the causes were, Kagome would try to find out later.

"Sess…" Kagome called out gently, reaching over to tap him on the arm.

"Hmm?" He snapped out of his reverie, looking up at her with a blank face while his eyes recovered some of the wit and confidence they usually held. Kagome's slightly worried facial expression got him shaking his head slightly. "Sorry…I was…thinking."

She hurriedly shook her head in response. "Rin was calling out to you."

His eyes widened slightly at the mention of himself having ignored his sick little girl, before quickly turning to face Rin, who now had a little smile plastered on her tired, gaunt face. Due to the intensive chemotherapy and radiotherapy sessions, the toll on the child's body was massive. Rin looks like a shadow of her past lively self, bound to the dreary place which was the hospital.

"Daddy dreaming…" Rin smiled weakly, while Sesshoumaru chuckled in what was meant for Rin to see as a sign of guilt. However, Kagome noticed even the chuckle, was somewhat restrained and forced.

Watching the verbal interaction closely while trying not to show too much on her face, Kagome could easily see how Sesshoumaru was simply not with Rin in the conversation.

Sure, he was there physically, but from the way he spoke absentmindedly, the occasional faraway look shading his eyes, Kagome knew there was a lot more to what met her eyes. Sesshoumaru was greatly troubled, and not many things can trouble Sesshoumaru. It was definitely not a good sign.

It has already been two days since she noticed the gloom that was hanging over Sesshoumaru like a suffocating blanket. Yes, he was usually very stoic, but that was not gloom. This was gloom. It was like an omen, and she knew, something bad had happened.

What could possibly have occurred?

Rin's illness?

No, that was nothing new. If he had wanted to be gloomy over their daughter's leukemia, he'd have done so long ago.

Family issues?

No, she and Rin were family, and there were no problems to speak of. In fact, it could almost be said that life for them as a family was never better. Everyone from both families had been thrilled to hear about her pregnancy, for it meant so much. It meant that Kagome and Sesshoumaru were together again, and Rin might be able to receive a bone marrow transplant from the sibling.

Work?

As for this aspect, she was not so sure. However, when she asked him about it a while back, Sesshoumaru did tell her everything was well and under control, and that he knew what to do.

Kagome cast another quick glimpse at Sesshoumaru. Rin was telling him some story Iena-san told her, but despite him nodding with every few sentences, Kagome could clearly see his mind was not on the story at all.

"Is it funny, Daddy?" The little girl, oblivious to her father's lack of attention to her, asked.

"Hmm?" Sesshoumaru simply replied.

Rin's facial expression collapsed in childish disappointment, before she pointed out in a small, slightly accusing voice.

"Daddy not laughing."

Upon hearing that from his daughter's mouth, Sesshoumaru was quick to chuckle patronizingly, laughing a laugh which was good enough for the child, but to the woman watching him, it was too obvious the laugh did not reach his eyes.

"Kagome, Sesshoumaru, Rin!" A familiar voice came from behind them. It was Yuko.

"Grandma!" Rin's joyous voice could be heard, despite her weakened state.

"Okaasan." Kagome and Sesshoumaru greeted, standing up to pull a chair out for the older woman. She smiled her thanks, before placing the toys and food which she had brought along with her on the overbed table.

"I brought your favorite meatball porridge, Rin!" Yuko smiled, while she opened up the Tupperware in which the porridge was kept. "Can you smell it?"

A delighted nod from the child signaled she was feeling good enough to eat, and the older woman turned to Sesshoumaru and Kagome.

"Why don't the two of you go get something to eat? Leave her to me; I'll feed her. And don't worry about my lunch; I have already eaten."

"Alright. Thanks, Mom." Kagome smiled, before she slipped her hand into Sesshoumaru's, intertwining their fingers together as they walked out of the hospital ward. "See you later, Rin!"

Even as they walked along hand in hand, Kagome sensed something was not right. Sesshoumaru's footsteps were somewhat heavier than usual, and even though she was holding on to his hand, she could not feel the soul which was connected to it.

Casting yet another stolen glance at the man by her side, she once again saw the faraway look in those beautiful eyes of his. His mind was somewhere else, and this only confirmed her suspicions that something was terribly wrong.

He was troubled, evidently, but he was hiding it from her.

It made her want to hug him, kiss him and talk to him until he was feeling alright once again.

Biting her lower lip, Kagome allowed them to walk along for a few more minutes in comfortable silence, silently drafting her opening line in her mind over and over again.

With Sesshoumaru, one had to employ the soft yet direct approach. Too soft, he evaded. Too direct, he evaded too.

She cleared her throat. Not once, but twice, in an attempt to catch his attention.

He did not respond; instead, simply settled for staring into the outermost layer of glass of the closed elevator doors ahead of them.

Kagome squeezed his hand gently and gingerly, and that got his attention. He inclined his head towards her in a quiet, questioning manner, and she took the opportunity to look ahead at the glass as well, looking into his eyes in the faint reflection.

"There's something you're not telling me…" She started gently, cautiously looking into his eyes in the reflection. He did not evade her gaze, but did not say a word either. Kagome bravely took that as her cue to continue.

"And I know you're troubled by it."

His eyes widened slightly at her open words, and it struck him just how well this woman knew him. Sesshoumaru thought he was being very discreet with his feelings, but apparently, to Kagome, his hidden feelings were just about as obvious as being written out on a piece of paper.

Before he could say anything, she continued, "I hope you trust me enough to tell me about it."

He knew she was using her smart verbal tactics to corner him in the conversation. If he did not tell her what she wanted to know, it would have given her the impression he was admitting to not trusting her enough. That was not true, and she also knew it, but he did not wish to bother her with the severe matters at work, much less let her imagine he was having a tough time trying to tide over this major crisis.

"It's work, right?" Kagome prompted, looking at him with a leveled gaze until Sesshoumaru nodded in agreement, albeit resignedly. There was simply no use in evasion with Higurashi Kagome.

"It's the deal with Nishimoto." He said, his voice sounding oddly empty and a little more forlorn than nonchalant he would have preferred himself to sound.

Kagome suppressed the gasp and the shock that threatened to make her ask him frantically for answers. The Nishimoto case? The consequences would be dire if he lost the dealing.

She waited with bated breath for more details, but he only shook his head gravely. That was all she needed to know; Sesshoumaru had failed to clinch the deal.

But how could that be? Everything was still going well when she last asked him about it…The worry was by now, mounting in Kagome's heart. Sesshoumaru took his work very seriously, and to suffer great setbacks like this would wound him more than what others can observe from the outside.

"What exactly happened?" She asked softly, running her thumb over all the areas she could reach on his hand. "Maybe I can help?"

At those words, Sesshoumaru's head snapped up to look at the woman beside him.

"No."

Kagome's eyes widened in instinctive indignance, giving him a flash of hurt in her eyes, before asking, "Why not?"

He turned away to evade her lingering gaze, before saying, "This is the exact reason why I tried to hide the problem from you."

"What do you mean, Sesshoumaru?"

"I don't want you to worry about it."

"I am not worrying-"

"You are."

Kagome's shoulders slumped slightly in defeat and exasperation, biting her lower lip in thought before she opened her mouth again.

"Aren't we supposed to a team?" She said quietly, while Sesshoumaru cast a sidewards glance at her.

The elevator doors parted, but neither went in.

Kagome turned and looked into Sesshoumaru's eyes, and in that instant, he felt almost obliged to involve her in this crisis, to allow himself to rely on her as his source of strength. But his eyes trailed down, and he once again reminded himself of how fragile she was at the moment. She was with child; how could he have entertained the thought of involving her in the inevitably hectic work?

"We are…but I don't want you to get involved, Kagome. Not when you are with child, and not when Rin needs you so much."

The entire issue with being pregnant and staying out of work's way was back once again, just like it did five years ago. Why couldn't he see that she was nowhere as fragile as she appeared to be? She was perfectly capable of sharing his burdens too.

"But-"

"Kagome." He interrupted before she could even say more. "Please."

Kagome wanted to open her mouth and retort at that instant, but something she caught in Sesshoumaru's eyes made her shut her mouth again.

It was love, concern and anxiety mixed into a worrying blend which glazed over those beautiful eyes of his. He was pleading with her not to pursue the matter, and it was something the Sesshoumaru she knew would never do.

Helping him would be making him unhappy. But if she didn't help him, he'd be unhappy too.

Torn between two contrasting situations, Kagome was not really sure as to what she should do.

_

* * *

To be continued… _

A/N: Thank you for reading this chapter! Now, on top of all those problems with work and Rin, our favorite couple is facing some tension too! I was thinking from Sesshoumaru's POV and Kagome's POV respectively, and this was how the story turned out. Please tell me what you feel about this! Hope you guys enjoyed it.

Anyway, voting will soon be underway for the annual awards on A Single Spark! Please do vote for this story if you think it deserves recognition! Thank you, especially to those amazing readers who nominated this fic for:

Best Romance/Fluff/WAFF Fanfic

Best Angst/Drama Fanfic

Best Lemon/Lime Fanfic

Best Kagome Portrayal

Best Sesshoumaru Portrayal

Best Overall Fanfic

Till the next chapter, take care! You guys rock!


	28. Kagome's decision

Standard disclaimers apply.

A/N: Thank you for all your reviews to the previous chapter! I really appreciate your support for this story, especially how you guys are not blaming me at all for the slowed down rate of updating. I am really busy with school work and the impending exams, and writing is more of a treat now than anything else.

I do agree with all of you on how Sesshoumaru should see how Kagome is not as weak as he thinks she is, but given how stubborn he is, I doubt he will be changing his mind anytime soon. However, sometimes, things just have a way of working themselves out…

Oh, and to vote for this story in the annual awards on "A Single Spark", please do click on the tab for "Annual Awards" by the side of the Fanfiction page…Thank you very much for your support!

**Title: Love after Loss**

**Chapter 28: Kagome's decision**

* * *

"No." 

He gave her a questioning look.

"I said no." Kagome insisted, quickly dispelling the nagging fear of Sesshoumaru getting angry at her boldness. "You tell me what happened."

He did not reply verbally, and instead, settled for looking at her without any expression on his face.

A few seconds went by without a further word from him, and Kagome simply continued. "This is not working, Taisho-san. You know I will not be discouraged by this attitude."

Sesshoumaru still did not reply.

"If you don't tell me, I will find it out for myself. I can easily contact Myoga-san, Miroku or even Jaken, and you know it very well. Besides, it would not reflect well on you should I have to resort to questioning outsiders, right?"

He closed his eyes for a split moment at her stubborn words, silently reminding himself once again this was Kagome he was dealing with, before replying in a slow, controlled tone.

"And what do you want to know?"

"I want to know what happened, of course! I know you lost the deal, but how? Why? And to whom? Everything was going fine, wasn't it?" Kagome persisted, unwilling to give up in the face of Sesshoumaru's evident exasperation. "I think I deserve to know!"

"Very well…" He said with the same slow tone, under which she could catch a hint of anger. "It's Kurotani Naraku."

"H…How?" Kagome almost could not verbalize her wild, churning emotions at the mention of that name. To be shocked was to say the least, and she could only wait for Sesshoumaru to say more.

He watched the emotions on her beautiful face swirl into a mess of shock, curiosity and a bit of determination, before the look softened to settle into a calmer mask. It was then he decided to continue.

"Nishimoto did not find Taisho Holdings sincere enough in this partnership, since I was often standing Nishimoto-san up-"

Kagome's eyes widened in shock and a small gasp escaped her lips, as she hurriedly grabbed Sesshoumaru's hand.

"But…But this is not your fault! Oh no…I…I'm so sorry, Sess…If it wasn't for me-"

"It's not your fault, Kagome." He interrupted her sharply, turning his hand around so he was holding hers in his instead. A taut hold on her slender hand told her of the assurance he sought to give her then.

"But-"

He shook his head firmly. "I still would have put you and Rin as my priority even if I got to choose again."

Helplessness flashed across Kagome's lovely features as she thought quickly for something, anything in fact, to remedy the situation which she had indirectly caused.

"Why don't you tell Nishimoto-san the truth? It is because of personal family problems which led to you being-"

"No. That would simply be seen as creating excuses. I will not do that." Sesshoumaru was quick to refuse. It would be most lowly to do so, in his opinion.

"That is the truth, Sess!"

"Yes, but nonetheless, I could have done something about it. Maybe I could have made prior arrangements or something along those lines…besides, I should have known that people like the despicable Naraku were eyeing the contract."

"That cannot be the only reason, right?" She asked in a soft voice, as if afraid of agitating him further. "As in, the sincerity issue."

"The conditions offered by Naraku are more attractive to Nishimoto, and what they are offering was something Taisho Holdings failed to do. I left Jaken alone to chair the conference for the discussion of the terms, and…"

Kagome fell silent as his sentence trailed, her head lowered as she tried to think carefully. She knew Sesshoumaru would most probably go berserk if he knew what she was thinking of, but she really, really wanted to help him in some way.

How would she go about trying to help him win the contract back?

Approach Naraku?

That was not going to help in any way. He did not even know her personally; he left Taisho Holdings before she joined it at the marketing department.

Devise a proposal far more attractive in terms to present to Nishimoto?

That was feasible, but she could never possibly do it without Sesshoumaru not knowing. Especially when an attractive proposal would require a lot of funds, and to shift the finances around under Sesshoumaru's watchful eyes was just impossible.

She could start by knowing how Naraku's proposal was structured, and from there, seek to understand more about the current situation. However, how could she possibly do so? Such documents were of top secret, and other than Kurotani Naraku and Nishimoto Yutaka, no one would know of details of the documents. She did not have links to either party, and there was no one who could help her.

Furthermore, she needed more information about the focus and directions of Nishimoto Biomedical Technology as well. What was their motto or priority in their business? She knew they dealt in medical equipment and technology, but what else was there to it? Kagome needed to know all these, and it would have to be done without Sesshoumaru's knowledge.

But even if so, even if she could draft a fantastic proposal, how was she ever going to present it to someone as influential as Nishimoto-san? She was not even linked to Taisho Holdings at this point – She was merely a supervisor at Kinokuniya bookstore.

She really needed a miracle. But like all miracles, she had to start off at somewhere.

There was a lot to be done, and seemingly hard as it might be, Kagome was quite sure she would not give up.

She was part of the reason Sesshoumaru lost his deal, and she was going to get it back for him, whether he liked it or not.

* * *

"Kagome-chan...Kagome-chan." 

The soft, gentle voice by her side broke her out of her reverie, as Kagome quickly turned to face the kindly old lady looking at her with concerned eyes.

"Yes, Kaede obaachan?"

"Something is bothering you, my child." The old lady smiled, reaching out to pat Kagome's hands, which were folded in her lap.

Kagome managed an embarrassed smile at being caught spacing out again by Kaede, as her thoughts involuntarily went back to Sesshoumaru's problem at hand and how she was ever going to manage to help him. She had been thinking of it day and night, even as she was now having lunch with the old lady, with whom she had become great friends with. Right now, they were sitting outside the shopping mall in which Kinokuniya was located, as they waited for Kaede's grandson to pick her up.

"You can share it with me if you do not mind." Kaede prompted, before Kagome nodded wearily, the trace of her earlier smile fading into the gentle breeze around them.

"It's my ex-husband."

"Hmm? Aren't the two of you seeing each other once again?"

"Yes...it's nothing to do with our relationship. Instead, it is work." Kagome admitted, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. "He's facing some difficulties at work, and they are caused indirectly by me. I wish I could help him…he is so unhappy, but he tries hard to hide it."

Kaede's nod and the gentleness she exuded like an aura only served to make Kagome say more. She could really do with someone to confide in at the moment, and someone who did not know the situation at all would be the best choice to talk to. Their family members would most probably panic and start worrying if they ever got wind of the bad news.

"It's because of me and Rin's illness that he was unable to focus on his work…and now, it has resulted in a major problem which would bring about very severe consequences should we are unable to do anything about it."

"I really wish to help him, but I have no idea how to go about doing so. I have tried to understand his work, but…there's really not much use in doing so…" Kagome did not elaborate about Sesshoumaru's job, for she did not tell Kaede her ex-husband was Taisho Sesshoumaru. "Besides, he is not willing to let me help in any way."

"He does not want you to worry, Kagome-chan." The old lady replied softly. "It is out of love that he is keeping it from you."

"That's what he said too, but…but he should know I am not as fragile as I might appear to be. I am capable of helping too…"

"I know, Kagome-chan, I know. But this is not how he sees it. To him, you are more important than the job, which is why he has been unable to focus on work when you and your daughter are involved."

Kagome nodded dumbly, feeling very helpless all of a sudden. The Kagome after the divorce really did not want to go against Sesshoumaru's wishes, but the Kagome from the past still wanted very badly to do something for him.

Kaede continued, watching Kagome's forlorn profile. "Remember my grandson whom I mentioned? I took care of him and practically brought him up since his parents were often busy, and now that he has grown up into a fine young man, he too, is trying to carve out a respectable career for himself. With that, came immeasurable amounts of stress and unhappiness, but just like your ex-husband, he chose to hide it from his loved ones. I wish I could help him sometimes too, but there's simply nothing we can do for him. I realized, he would not want us to worry either."

Kagome nodded once again. Sesshoumaru's love for her was hurting and caring at the very same time.

"I just want to let you know this, Kagome-chan, so you will not feel as helpless as I did. I know you love him, but sometimes, love does not always have to be about helping or contributing."

That made sense to Kagome, and she could clearly understand where the old lady was coming from, but it did not seem to be able to reduce the urge to help Sesshoumaru at all. She still prayed for her miracle.

A gentle honk from the road caught their attention, as Kaede's face lit up with recognition as a familiar car came into view.

"That's my grandson." The old lady smiled as Kagome quickly stood up to help her over to where the silvery blue car was waiting. Kaede's footsteps were slow with age, and Kagome was careful as to ensure the old lady did not trip.

As they approached, Kagome was vaguely aware of the driver of the car walking over in hastened footsteps to help Kaede along.

"Obaachan, isoganai de." _(Grandma, don't hurry.)_

Another pair of stronger hands could be felt on the other arm of the old lady, before Kaede's slightly amused voice was heard.

"Yes, yes…Yutaka, this is Higurashi-san." The old lady introduced. "Remember the young lady I told you about? The one who saved me?"

Kagome's head lifted up instantly to greet Kaede's grandson and introduce herself with a smile, only to have her words get hitched in her throat.

For a moment, she felt as if her air supply had been cut off, and all thoughts frozen. She could only stare with widened eyes.

For looking back at her with a polite smile on his young face, was none other than Nishimoto Yutaka himself.

_

* * *

To be continued… _

A/N: I don't know how many of you saw that coming, but this is one of the major plot twists which I am extremely proud of being able to weave into this story! Yes, Nishimoto Yutaka the young entrepreneur is Kaede's grandson, and he is also the very same one with whom Sesshoumaru is trying to strike a deal with!

I sincerely hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, and please do vote for this story on "A Single Spark" should you think it deserves an award! Thank you once again for your support!

Love,

MissTeak


	29. Too much at stake

Standard disclaimers apply.

A/N: I apologize for the long delay in updating! Finally, I am done with the evil evil exams, and have hence returned to the world of fanfiction! Also, I'd wish to thank all of you who voted for this story in the Single Spark annual awards! This story wouldn't have been able to win the third position for "Best Angst/Drama fic" if it wasn't for you guys! I am really honored, and hope you guys will keep supporting this story.

Please do enjoy reading, and review!

**Title: Loss after Loss**

**Chapter 29: Too much at stake**

* * *

"Ni-Nishimoto Yutaka?" Kagome said shakily, unable to believe her own eyes. A split moment passed, and she hurriedly realized how rude she must have appeared, staring at him and calling him by his full name.

Bowing hurriedly in greeting, Kagome added an apologetic "sumimasen", while her heart continued pounding with the sheer excitement of this little miracle.

"Iie…" Nishimoto returned the bow. "I am Nishimoto Yukata. I have heard a lot about you from my grandmother, Higurashi-san, and please allow me to treat you to lunch as a way of showing my gratitude."

"Oh, it's alright, I-"

"I insist, Higurashi-san." He interrupted in a slow, firm tone, which instantly made Kagome pause and nod with a smile.

"Thank you very much then."

Despite the calm tone she employed, Kagome could not help but feel like diving into the topic of the business dealings between Nishimoto and Taisho Holdings instantly. Such opportunities do not come by often.

Her brain worked furiously, mapping out lines and openings to her little mental script. Where should she even begin from? The suddenness of the situation was making her a little helpless, and very nervous.

However, her experience in this field served as a strong anchor, constantly reminding her of how haste would only lead to nothing in the end. She would wait patiently for now, and play this game of tactics right. She had to, in order to save herself, Sesshoumaru and Taisho Holdings. On top of all that, they still had Rin and their unborn child to worry about.

Nodding politely as Nishimoto Yutaka opened the door for her, Kagome stepped into the almost chilling interior of the car, giving Kaede a smile which did not quite reach her eyes.

To Kagome, it was now or never. She had to prove her worth, as a wife, a previous employee and also a mother.

* * *

He checked his email for what seemed to be the tenth time since he sent the email two hours ago, hoping in vain to see an email from Nishimoto company.

But all he saw was "No new mail". He was almost getting accustomed to seeing that.

Suppressing the sigh which threatened to escape his lips, Sesshoumaru closed the window for his email, leaning back into his chair to take a deep, controlled breath.

There was no reply for his request for a meeting with Nishimoto Yutaka. Casting a glance at the time indicated on the screen, Sesshoumaru tried to reassure himself of the fact that Nishimoto might be out for lunch at the moment.

He did not even have the mood to have lunch now, not when the burdens of his job are weighing so heavily on his chest. It was no longer for him, but also the painstaking efforts his father, Inuyasha and all the employees, new or old, put in for the company.

Everything was coming to him like a tidal wave, and it did not help that Rin's illness was not showing signs of improvement. Feeling like a failure seemed almost common to him these days.

But as he told Kagome, even if he had a second choice in this, Rin and she would still remain his topmost priority. He had no regrets as to how he made his choices.

However, just thinking of Naraku and the underhand means he applied to snatch the entire business dealing from right under his nose made Sesshoumaru want to bash something, but other than that, he was really at his wits' end on what to do. In order not to alarm everyone working for the company, he had kept tried to keep the loss of the agreement under wraps, but he knew very well that it was only a matter of time before his father and Inuyasha would find out about it.

Till then, he would stall for time and try his best to arrange a meeting with Nishimoto Yutaka.

* * *

"Higurashi-san, I understand you are working at Kinokuniya?" Nishimoto Yutaka asked politely when the two of them were sitting at a table in a quaint Japanese restaurant, waiting for their orders to arrive. Kaede had just excused herself to the washroom, leaving Kagome alone with her grandson.

"Yes," Kagome replied formally, keeping polite eye contact. "I've been with Kinokuniya for almost two years. It's quite a stressful job, but I enjoy the environment and the rapport I share with the other staff."

"I see…" Nishimoto continued, his tone still giving Kagome the impression that he was not very much interested, and was simply making small talk for the sake of keeping tension out of the atmosphere. "So that wouldn't be your first job, would it?"

"You're right, Nishimoto-san. I used to work at…" Kagome add a very slight, subtle pause, before drawing her eyes back to his face. "Taisho Holdings."

Nishimoto's eyes, which were initially somewhat tired and distant, suddenly held an interested sparkle which he professionally kept under control. "Really? Then I am quite sure you know of the recent business dealing which my company was involved in with Taisho Holdings, if you still update yourself with their reports, that is."

"I am well aware of that, Nishimoto-san. I am also aware that the business dealing seems to have fallen through." Kagome spoke up slowly; keeping herself alert yet falsely relaxed at the same time. It would not do much good to herself if she appeared too enthusiastic or anxious in front of this stranger who could determine the success or failure of her ex-husband's career.

That sentence from Kagome seemed to have captured Nishimoto Yutaka's attention fully. His eyes, which shone with wisdom far beyond his age, narrowed in interest as he asked with a smile. "Higurashi-san, you were working as…?"

"I used to be the chief marketing officer of Taisho holdings." She replied politely, well aware that Nishimoto Yutaka was holding on to her every word intently. "I joined Taisho Holdings upon graduation from college."

"That's very impressive for a lady of your age, Higurashi-san." He remarked, taking a sip of water from his glass. Peering over the rim of the glass, he studied the woman sitting in front of him, before replacing the glass on the table. "And if you do not mind, can I know the reason behind your departure?"

"I divorced Taisho Sesshoumaru." Kagome replied casually, hiding her nervousness behind her cool, detached façade. Nishimoto Yutaka was a friendly young man, but still, his professionalism and gaze unnerved her slightly. "…and it simply became rather awkward for me to continue working there."

Surprise was an understatement for the expression on Nishimoto's face. "So you were Mrs. Taisho…Mr. Taisho certainly has good taste, to appreciate not only beauty but talent."

"Thank you for the compliment, Nishimoto-san. Sesshoumaru is truly a very impressive character in many aspects."

"Indeed. I've only met Taisho-san for a few times, but even in those hastily concluded meetings, I've found him to be an extraordinary character. A rare talent in today's corporate world, I would say, and a very worthy competitor and business partner."

"I have to admit, his talent is undeniable. And Nishimoto-san," Kagome took his common appreciation of Sesshoumaru's talent as a cue to continue boldly. "Do you have any idea why those meetings you had with Sesshoumaru always ended abruptly with him leaving halfway?"

Nishimoto Yutaka looked puzzled for a moment, before shifting his eyes back to meet Kagome's and shaking his head slightly. "No."

"It was because of our family." It was indeed a dreadfully bold move on Kagome's part, to delve directly into the reason behind the calling off of the business dealing. It was just like scaling a mountain – one either gets to the peak, or falls off and dies a horrible death.

"Your family?"

"Yes, Nishimoto-san. Sesshoumaru and I are seeing each other again." Kagome replied truthfully, deciding that it was now or never that she got to the point. The stakes were high indeed, but she was confident she will play this well.

"You see, we got together once again partly because of our daughter. I sincerely hope you do not see this as a pathetic excuse which I'm using to make you listen to me, but instead, I would greatly appreciate it if you give me the opportunity to explain things."

Nishimoto Yutaka did not reply, but instead, simply settled for regarding her attentively. That alone, was sufficient to elicit a smile from Kagome, before she bowed her thanks.

"For all those times Sesshoumaru stood you up, or left halfway during those meetings, he had a reason. He had to go to the hospital to see our daughter, Rin." Kagome paused slightly.

"Rin is severely ill…she has acute myelogenous leukemia. She is only five this year." Kagome continued, repeating constantly in her mind that she had to deliver the truth to Nishimoto, and pray that he understands the conflicting situations Sesshoumaru was faced with. "I've been working under Sesshoumaru ever since I joined his company, and if he can be said to be unprofessional, no one else will be professional."

Nishimoto nodded once in silent agreement, before casting a warm smile at his grandmother as she joined the table once again.

"As we know very well, work is a priority to him. But when faced with our ailing child, he had to make a choice, and he told me it was without the slightest hint of regret that he chose to rush to Rin's side instead. Rin is very attached to her father, just as Sesshoumaru is to her."

Kagome couldn't help but notice that Nishimoto's eyes had softened, and they were staring deep down into his glass of water, as if the clear liquid held replies to his unspoken questions. Kaede was right; Nishimoto Yutaka was a man who valued kinship as well.

"I am sure you remember as well, Nishimoto-san. The last conference scheduled before final notes were to be added to the contract…I was with Sesshoumaru. He accompanied me to the clinic."

"That was the time when you saved me from getting hit by the books, wasn't it, my child?" Kaede interrupted softly, smiling at Kagome.

Kagome nodded modestly, before adding, "Sesshoumaru could have simply dropped me at the clinic, but he chose to stay with me and send me home, because we found out I'm pregnant with his child and he thought it was unsafe for me to walk around alone in the night."

"He is a caring husband, Kagome-chan."

"Yes, he is, Kaede obaachan. He hides it under a mask of indifference, but deep inside, he is a doting father and a loving husband." Kagome smiled to herself as she thought of Sesshoumaru. "And I have to do Sesshoumaru justice...he does not know of this meeting, and will definitely not allow it if he knew, but all I wish to say is that if he seemed insincere at any point during your talks, it would not have been deliberate."

"Higurashi-san." Nishimoto Yutaka spoke up, his voice clear and strong. "I understand it might have been assumptions on my part regarding Taisho-san's sincerity that led to the calling off of the contract. However, we are already in the stage of finalizing details with Kurotani Holdings-"

"Nishimoto-san. I do not expect just a little talking on my part to change your views. I am also well aware of the heavy stakes involved in this entire business dealing. However, I would be so bold as to point out to you that you are running a biomedical technology company. Behind all that technology and products you sell, doesn't the will to help the sick and needy prevail?" Kagome interrupted firmly yet still keeping the polite, professional edge to her voice.

"And on top of all these, doesn't the love of a united family serve as the best drug for these patients whom you are trying to help?"

Nishimoto Yutaka could not answer to this, for Kagome was pointing out to him the undisputable truth.

"I'm not begging you to cease the talks with Kurotani Holdings immediately, but all I am asking for is a second chance for Taisho Holdings to present its case to you. Also, I will volunteer myself in helping with the marketing of your company's products at the upcoming fair at the Central Hospital next month. I hope you will reconsider your earlier decision then."

_

* * *

To be continued…_

A/N: Tada!!! That was chapter 29 for you. I can't believe how long I left this story hanging, but I am really glad I am back on it again! Woohoo!! Feels SO good to write. Merry Christmas once again, and do review to keep me going!

Also, I have a new story named "Starshine", which once again, involves our dearest Sesshoumaru and Kagome. Do check that out too!


	30. The little secret

**Standard disclaimers apply.**

A/N: Thank you for the reviews! I am so glad this story has not been entirely forgotten…I was afraid no one might bother to read it anymore. Anyway, here's the 30th chapter of "Love after Loss"!

And some readers did ask if there might be rivalry between the two guys over Kagome, but unfortunately, no, we are not going to see that in this fic. I mean, Kagome is pregnant with Sesshoumaru's baby, and Nishimoto is not supposed to be a mean wife-snatching creep. It would seem very unfitting. LOL. So yup, sit back and enjoy the story!

**Title: Love after Loss**

**Chapter 30: The little secret**

* * *

"What would you like to have, darling?" Sesshoumaru asked as he pulled the chair out for Kagome. They were at a quiet café near his workplace, where Kagome would occasionally meet him for a short tea break.

"An espresso, please."

"No," Sesshoumaru was quick to shake his head. "Too much caffeine."

"I'll have the smallest cup they serve..." Kagome put on what she thought would be a sweet, pleading look.

"No. What if our baby gets addicted to caffeine even before birth?"

Kagome chuckled in defeat; Sesshoumaru was really very protective over her and the unborn child, to the point of being ridiculous and exaggerated at times. It made him seem all the more endearing to her. And to think he was the one who asked her what she would like for a drink.

"Alright…a latte macchiato then." That should be fine by Sesshoumaru's standards.

However, she was proven wrong almost instantly.

"There's still caffeine. I'll get you a mug of hot milk, and a slice of blueberry cheesecake." He quickly decided, while Kagome noted all the calcium he was trying to get in her system by making her consume dairy products. "Do you want anything else?"

She shook her head, smiling gently at him. No matter how hard he tried to keep it under control, Sesshoumaru's little bossy streak never fails to emerge occasionally. As much as Kagome would love to have some good coffee, seeing him so spirited and much happier overweighed being bossed around.

Nothing else could make him so happy. Nishimoto Yutaka must have contacted him and arranged for a meeting. Gazing at Sesshoumaru's back as he ordered the drinks at the counter, Kagome recalled the end of her conversation with Nishimoto with a little smile.

"_Thank you for showing me the big picture, Higurashi-san." Nishimoto extended his hand as he stood up. "I'll be contacting Taisho-san soon."_

"_That'd be very much appreciated, Nishimoto-san." Kagome returned the handshake. "However, I do seek your cooperation in helping me keep this a secret from Sesshoumaru. Please do not tell him of this meeting, and the fact that I've talked to you regarding the contract."_

"_Your secret is safe with me." Nishimoto had answered with a friendly, conspirical smile._

Kagome could not imagine Sesshoumaru's reaction if he found out that she had secretly meddled in his affairs and got involved so directly in the business dealing. Of course, she had given it much thought, but still, she was not psychic and there was no way of telling how he would react.

If it was Sesshoumaru a few years back, it was needless to say, he would have blown his top and go on to remove every trace of her from his work. But if it were the Sesshoumaru today, the one who seemed to have taken a turn for the better in terms of his temper, he might be appreciative and even thankful that he had such a capable woman by his side.

Then again, Sesshoumaru valued his work highly – almost too highly- and there were just no other ways about it. There was simply no telling, and Kagome took the safer route by keeping it a secret. As long as the deal was secured, he didn't really have to know how it came about.

It wasn't before long when Sesshoumaru returned with the drinks and the cake, and Kagome couldn't help but notice he was having a big slice of double chocolate cake, heaped with a huge glob of cream.

"Someone's in a really good mood." She remarked, keeping her face straight the entire time. Sesshoumaru only indulged in the guilty pleasures of chocolate when he was in a good mood. "Care to share why?"

"Nishimoto-san agreed to a meeting this coming Thursday," He replied, before taking a sip of his cappuccino. "He mentioned he might reconsider the contract if we are able to present a good proposal, and that would not be too difficult. Jaken and Miroku are already working hard at it with two other teams of managers, and I have total confidence in them."

"Really? That's great news!" Kagome exclaimed, feigning interest in the freshly revealed information. Seeing Sesshoumaru no longer spacing out or looking gloomy was the best reward her efforts could receive. "Isn't it great that everything is going smoothly for now? I just heard from Mom that Rin's appetite has improved greatly as well."

Sesshoumaru's face revealed relief the instant he heard the good news. Thank goodness Rin was feeling better…he had almost broken down the previous time when Kagome called him, crying over the phone about Rin's abdominal distress. The nightmare with the leukemia was far from over, but at least it was showing positive signs.

"And if we clinch this deal, I promise…I'll put off my work for awhile, and we shall spend time as a family."

Kagome's eyes widened in pleasant surprise, almost not believing what her very own ears just heard. She had been doubtful earlier, thinking that Sesshoumaru's workaholic habits were kicking in again after the Nishimoto contract came into issue, assuming that it was inevitable that he went back to his old ways. She had not been mad at him, but she had prepared herself for what she believed was the inevitable.

And apparently, habits do change. The man sitting in front of her was a perfect, living example.

He lived up to the promise he made Rin, and was making another one to her, a promise which served not only as a promise to spend some quality family time, but also the promise that anchored their future together firmly. He had changed for her, and their family.

He raised his perfectly arched eyebrows at her, silently questioning the reason behind her surprised expression.

Her eyes narrowed slightly to a soft, gentle gaze, before she whispered, "You've really changed."

He smiled a small smile, exhaling slightly so it gave him a bemused look contrasting with eyes filled with an underlying love.

It was what she lost and found once again.

Kagome smiled to herself, putting a small piece of cheesecake and allowing it to dissolve slowly in her mouth.

Life is good indeed, she thought as the aroma of cheese mingled with the sweet and slightly sour taste of blueberry. Now all there is left to do is the proposal for Nishimoto's product marketing at the upcoming fair at the Central Hospital.

Deep down in her heart, she knew if she could nail that, the contract would be theirs for sure.

* * *

Things were often, easier said than done.

Sitting by Rin's bed in the children's ward, Kagome's mind was whirring. The problem with medical equipment was all she could think of, for it was so vastly different from some other products which she had participated in the marketing projects of. If it were a drink, it would be only too easy.

Flashy advertisements, celebrity endorsement and so on…but no one gets a celebrity to endorse blood sugar monitors or models to advertise wheelchairs. These are just not products that anyone can walk into a supermarket to buy, and Kagome had to remind herself constantly, her target was not the masses. It was something very personal and very serious as well, and she had to bear in mind the possibly negative reactions from the rest of the public. The traditional Japanese consumers might be offended if she chose to market biomedical products with humor or anything along those lines.

It was definitely not an easy task, and Kagome was now filling the full weight of it. For an entire week, she has been pondering, brainstorming and eliminating ideas in her head. If her ideas could not get pass herself, what about the others? She had to be extremely strict with herself.

Now, perhaps she could try…no, that would not be practical.

Or maybe, there is another way…no.

She needed something better, something fresh yet acceptable, which was basically not easy to accomplish.

She could cook up a hundred ways to market something, but to market something successfully, leaving a deep impression in the hearts of the target consumers, is her ultimate aim. Kagome did not simply wish for a general acceptance; she wished for unprecedented excellence.

It was only through that, can she live up to the expectations Nishimoto Yutaka obviously had of her, and prove to everyone that Taisho Holdings was not to be taken lightly.

Her first meeting at the Nishimoto biomedical company was evidence that she had been detached too long from the professional corporate world, for she had needed to make a constant effort to catch up with the pace of the meeting. Initially, she had not been too willing to admit it, but Kagome realized, it was pretty futile in denying the obvious – she had indeed lost touch with her work.

Her efforts to keep up with the rest might have brought about scorn behind her back from the other employees at Nishimoto's, but she couldn't care less. Laugh all they want, she thought. I'll prove to them I'm not a pushover.

"What is Mommy thinking?" Rin's little voice cut through her reverie, while Kagome instantly turned to her daughter. Putting down the chunk of broccoli which she had been nibbling on, Rin commented knowingly, "Mommy looks worried."

A smile of denial from Kagome brought another smile to Rin, while she attempted to explain the situation to her daughter.

"You see, darling, Mommy is thinking of ideas."

"What ideas? For work?"

Her daughter had always been pretty advanced in her IQ for her age. "Yes, for work. But Mommy has a problem now; Mommy has been away from the job for too long, and has forgotten how I used to be able to do things so easily."

"So Mommy means you forgot how to do the homework?"

"Something along the lines of that…yes." Kagome pondered and with a smile and agreed, before patting her sweet little girl's cheek. In that instant of contact, an idea came to her.

"Rin."

"Hmm?" The little girl looked at her attentively.

"Can you tell Mommy what's important to you?" Kagome asked, before quickly rephrasing the question in more childish terms. "For example, when Rin is unhappy, who or what does Rin think of?"

The little face scrunched up in thought for a few seconds, before Rin replied, putting a finger out for each name she mentioned. "When Rin is unhappy, Rin thinks of Daddy, Mommy, Grandma, Uncle Souta, Grandpa, pretty Grandma Kasumi, Uncle Inuyasha and Aunt Kikyou and…"

'Family and friends.' Kagome mentally summed up Rin's long list of names, while nodding absentmindedly to Rin at the same time. By then, Rin's fingers were no longer sufficient for her list.

As Rin continued her lengthy list, which had now gone into the names of the other children in the same ward, Kagome saw from the corner of her eye, a child in a wheelchair being wheeled along the corridor outside Rin's ward.

It was a dreadful sight to behold, and Kagome's heart ached for the child despite now knowing who he was, for where two healthy legs should be, were two gnarled stumps which obviously could never serve the purpose of walking. Morbid fascination claimed her for a moment, and despite knowing that she should not stare, Kagome looked at the child carefully.

Only then, did she finally see what she had been missing.

A big, broad smile was adorning the child's emaciated face. Those pale, cracked lips were turned upwards in a joyous smile, and it was not because of anything else, but the woman and elderly couple walking beside the wheelchair, and the man pushing it along.

Despite his predicament, the child was happy. The handicap had not bothered him that much, as revealed from the smile.

Kagome's mind whirred, and it wasn't even three seconds when she whispered, "Yes!"

She had gotten her main concept.

_

* * *

To be continued…_

A/N: Thank you for all those reviews! I am so happy to see that you guys are still into this story. Anyway, I've started a new story named "Wisteria", and it is posted on the Kagome and Sesshoumaru fansite, "A Single Spark". The story takes place in a canon universe, and it involves the geisha world. Do check it out, and I love you all!


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